newmoon Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Not sure what thread was best for this... I've been dating a guy casually for about 9 months and it has been serious for about 3. The situation is that I have my own home and he does not (roommate situation), so we are 100% of the time at my place when we are together. I make about 6X what he does and work f/t to his p/t, so he has most days/times free. He initially stayed over once a week every two weeks or so, but now he stays over 2 or even 3 nights a week, and hangs out at my place during the day when he doesn't work. He has also started to fix little things and make slight changes (like new curtains) without asking me first. The problem is that I require a ton of personal space/independence and I don't know how to gently tell him that I really don't want him staying over for so many nights a week and hanging out for no reason. He's neat and clean and cooks for me, so that isn't a problem... it's just I want more time alone. At times I feel he is using my place as a refuge from his own living situation. And, the burden is always on me to 'host' him since we never go to his place for anything other than an occasional dinner. How do I tell him I want my home back without sounding like I don't want him around? I do want him around, just less.
darkmoon Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 without you specifying exactly how much time alone you need, sorry, but i would not know when it's ok to join you, would be guessing and so would be confused, but time to yourself is not too much to ask
confused and broken Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 He is moving in to your house without having any discussion about it... Does he have a key??
TaraMaiden Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 If yes, take it away from him without his knowing, and when he tells you he's lost it, let him know you'll get another one cut.... ..... eventually....... 1
Art_Critic Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Don't take this the wrong way Honey.. I do love you but I also need more alone time while at home, would it be possible that we spend 2 nights a week (or whatever) apart ? This isn't me rejecting you, this is me needing more personal space.
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