I am absolutely SICK and TIRED of being the nice guy

[Eddie Edirol]

Right. It's not about becoming a d*ck to women. You can still be gentlemanly, but just knowing when and how to be assertive.

 

 

Exactly. There are Bad Boy traits that can be learned, without trying to be a bad boy.

[Feelsgoodman]

So believe that women are scum, and I will naturally treat them that way?

 

Should I keep my pimp-hand strong?

It doesn't sound like you've got a pimp hand in the first place. Once you get one, you can start worrying about keeping it strong

 

Being a nice guy is obviously not working for you. Are you too timid to try something else?

[wavering_radiant]

You should do two things. First, you really need to come to the realization that women are as full of crap as men. Doing this will allow you to stop placing women on a pedestal and stop feeling the need to get their approval.

 

Second, for every action you do, especially for every action you take in the realm of dating, you need to always ask yourself a simple question. Am I doing what I "should" be doing, or am I doing the things I "want" to do. If it's the former, change your actions, but if it's the latter, then you're on the right track. You're most likely going to inevitably come across as a confident person if you're doing things in line with what you really want, instead of succumbing to other people all the time.

[NYC-BigKat]

Here is my story, It's fairly long.

 

Through out my life, I have had many opportunities to be with women who have had nothing but awful relationships.

 

I have dated people who were abused, Dated people who had a bad upbringing, Dated people who had nothing going for them.

 

I have also dated women who were absolutely amazing the entire time with them Until the "bad boy" shows up, and suddenly I am second fiddle for the thousandth time.

 

Lemme start by saying this. I am confident with myself, my personality, my looks, I have zero EGO, I treat girls extremely well, I complement them, I surprise them with cute ideas and I take them out to romantic dates.

 

Yet, all that **** does not matter because every single time, some random guy comes into the picture, and the girl always either cheats on me, breaks up with me, and moves on to the guy who is abuse, bad ass, tough looking.

 

All I hear about is how girls want the "nice guy", the guy who treats her like a beautiful person that she is, yet I do that and get left in the dust constantly.

 

I have been in love before, for 3 years, and she left me because I wanted to get a college education, while she wanted to move in together at the age of 19.

 

Took me absolutely forever to get over her, but when I finally did I started dating another girl (which is the reason I am ranting, lemme explain).

 

I am 26 years old now, I am at a point of my life where I am getting close to the typical time to start a family, yet I am absolutely running out of ideas on what to do.

 

The girl I met is sweet, kind, pretty, smart, has a great personality, and our first few dates were incredible(she was very touchy,feely, we did kiss multiple times with her initiating it)., yet the next day she barely texts me, and now shes just ignoring me.

 

This has been a pattern all my life, everytime I find somebody, either another guy shows up, or I am suddenly not the "type" of guy she is looking for.

 

So I would like to announce right here, that I am SICK and TIRED of being the nice guy who finishes last, Sorry if I hate one night stands and sorry if I respect girls, but maybe It's time for me to change my perspective.

 

I'm trying very hard to not stop being nice though sometimes I wanna just give up but I dont have it in me to turn into a meanie .

[NateC]

You should do two things. First, you really need to come to the realization that women are as full of crap as men. Doing this will allow you to stop placing women on a pedestal and stop feeling the need to get their approval.

 

Second, for every action you do, especially for every action you take in the realm of dating, you need to always ask yourself a simple question. Am I doing what I "should" be doing, or am I doing the things I "want" to do. If it's the former, change your actions, but if it's the latter, then you're on the right track. You're most likely going to inevitably come across as a confident person if you're doing things in line with what you really want, instead of succumbing to other people all the time.

 

Well, sometimes the things we "want" to do are like that...I may speak for myself when I say this, but I don't see a reason to be anything other than courteous...after all, I would simply expect the same from the other person. However, if I get harshness or attempts to take advantage of it, then I won't back down and will say something.

 

There's a difference between being nice and being nice and not sticking up for yourself when you're clearly being taken advantage of. It's a grey area because different people have different limits, but it's not how far you're willing to go...it's how well you stand your ground when that limit is pushed.

[Surfer203]

I too am a nice guy... dated many women. None have gone anywhere. I feel the reason is what has been mentioned prior, chicks want some action, excitement not a whimp who is falling over trying to make her happy. You gotta be a d*** sometimes, not rude, just confident and cool. This is going to be my new approach, plus it's more fun to behave like that. Being too nice gets dull. If that all makes any sense...

[MrNate 2.0]

Being mean is always fun. (I'm quite good at it:laugh:) But I'm also funny.

 

So where does that leave me, I don't know, but I feel like I'm right where I should be.

[Shaun-Dro]

Here is my story, It's fairly long.

 

Through out my life, I have had many opportunities to be with women who have had nothing but awful relationships.

 

I have dated people who were abused, Dated people who had a bad upbringing, Dated people who had nothing going for them.

 

I have also dated women who were absolutely amazing the entire time with them Until the "bad boy" shows up, and suddenly I am second fiddle for the thousandth time.

 

Lemme start by saying this. I am confident with myself, my personality, my looks, I have zero EGO, I treat girls extremely well, I complement them, I surprise them with cute ideas and I take them out to romantic dates.

 

Yet, all that **** does not matter because every single time, some random guy comes into the picture, and the girl always either cheats on me, breaks up with me, and moves on to the guy who is abuse, bad ass, tough looking.

 

All I hear about is how girls want the "nice guy", the guy who treats her like a beautiful person that she is, yet I do that and get left in the dust constantly.

 

I have been in love before, for 3 years, and she left me because I wanted to get a college education, while she wanted to move in together at the age of 19.

 

Took me absolutely forever to get over her, but when I finally did I started dating another girl (which is the reason I am ranting, lemme explain).

 

I am 26 years old now, I am at a point of my life where I am getting close to the typical time to start a family, yet I am absolutely running out of ideas on what to do.

 

The girl I met is sweet, kind, pretty, smart, has a great personality, and our first few dates were incredible(she was very touchy,feely, we did kiss multiple times with her initiating it)., yet the next day she barely texts me, and now shes just ignoring me.

 

This has been a pattern all my life, everytime I find somebody, either another guy shows up, or I am suddenly not the "type" of guy she is looking for.

 

So I would like to announce right here, that I am SICK and TIRED of being the nice guy who finishes last, Sorry if I hate one night stands and sorry if I respect girls, but maybe It's time for me to change my perspective.

 

Quick and to the point for you: the women you're coming in contact with are lying to you about who they are as a person and what they want. Cut them out of your life as soon as you discover this.

[Mrlonelyone]

I would say this to the OP. Allot of the reason you are left for those jerks is because they have a higher social value. That is not to say that jerks have a higher social value or anything ... social value and physical attractiveness are reasons people "trade up".

 

Women (and to a degree men) will put up with total bull poop in order to be with someone they think is more desired and approved of by more people.

 

It's not enough to be a decent man who treats the woman right. You have to also prove that you are a better man than the other men around her. By keeping your own status up, you make her feel lucky to be with you. The same thing applies to women who are left by men for other women.

 

You know what excites women more than a bad boy with a motorcycle ? A bad boy with a briefcase and a three piece suit. What excites them more than either of those... a nice guy who's the boss of the guy in a three piece suit.