joystickd Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 It's because you females made dating so tedious that most men stop caring about women. Women never admit to wrongs their gender has done to men. Men are starting to see that women lust after the same old 30%. The standards for men are insane. He must be tall, fit, great job, perfect teeth, good hair, funny, masculine, emotional blah blah blah and the list goes on. This sort of thing is why men are sick of it all. Correction the one of the problems with men and women is they focus on the same small pool of the opposite sex when there is an ocean and then generalize from that pool.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 joystickd Actually I am equally bothered by both. Porn is part of the problem but not a big contributor. You also have to consider there are women that objectify themselves and it has an effect on how men act towards them. Honestly some of these men wouldn't say what they said if there were no women at some point to respond positively to it. Its the same with porn there would be no porn if there were no women willing to participate. Porn is a big contributor. For men, it use to be a once a month thing, when the magazine came in the mail. Now it's an all the time thing. It's affected men. I've personally experienced that. I do not agree that men wouldn't say these thigns if no woman at some point responded positively to it. I think there are a lot of guys out there that no longer have social skills to know how to deal or talk with women. So they keep trying the best way they know how. Even if the best way they know how isn't very good. As for the fact that there would be no porn if owmen didn't participate in it, this is true. However, the percentage of women that become actual porn stars vs the percentage of men watching it are two different things. Most women do not get into the adult film world. Most men however do seem to watch porn. You can't just attack on side and totally forget that there is always another party willing. I go on Tagged and the women on OKC or POF are saints compared to some of the women on tagged. The pics there border a centerfold layout without the nudity. Then these women get mad when they get asked for sex or a sexual comment. Some of these women understand the power their sexuality has and they push the limits of what they can get away with. You have to be willing to consider there are other factors involved. I mean hell if porn was like that some of these other countries that are more open and sexualized than the US would be worse than they are. If it was what you say then Netherlands would have a 0% marriage rate because the mindset would be why get married when I can get a prostitute or look at porn hell why even date at all. I think that's were we are headed actually..more men opting for virtual sex lives and not real ones. The sad thing is that while women miss out, so do men. And usually men are missing out more because they aren't learning anything valuable from porn.
blueskyday Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 My mama always told me to watch the bait you fish with. Different bait gets different fish! I don't try to fish with "sexy" bait, but some men will come at me that way anyway. I'm talking propositions to go to bed on the first or second date, and tons of sexual texts. Seems to be getting worse, in my opinion, over the last few years. To the sexual texts, I text back, "Go f#ck yourself. Don't ever text me again." Because I'm just that sick of it. The guy I'm dating now is romantic. He tells me I'm beautiful, sexy, smart. Basically, he treats me as a WHOLE woman. Great idea! 1
KR10N Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 I had a similar experience. I think it's just a classic example of how the internet and the ability to hide behind anonymity lowers inhibitions and the usual 'politeness' filter for communication with another human being is not in place. I didn't respond to messages like that - I hit delete and blocked the user. I actually had a close friend that told his guy friends that he masturbated to me. And I only know because his friends told me. How lovely!
NeverDated Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 There's nothing in my profile that suggests I'm open to casual sex or naughty online chats, so where are they coming from? Is this just the norm with OLD? Rant over I'd say it's the norm. None of pics I had up on OKC were particularly provocative, but I got some of the weirdest messages on there. One older guy asked, right off the bat, if I needed a sugar daddy who could [insert explicit description of sexual activity here]. I declined. The ones that always freaked me out were the serial murderer types - they'd start off super nice and normal then swiftly progress to seeming as if they were prowling for their next victim. But the initially explicit messages...eh...they never really offended me. I figured it was a copy/paste job they were sending out just to get some booty. To each his own.
joystickd Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Porn is a big contributor. For men, it use to be a once a month thing, when the magazine came in the mail. Now it's an all the time thing. It's affected men. I've personally experienced that. I do not agree that men wouldn't say these thigns if no woman at some point responded positively to it. I think there are a lot of guys out there that no longer have social skills to know how to deal or talk with women. So they keep trying the best way they know how. Even if the best way they know how isn't very good. As for the fact that there would be no porn if owmen didn't participate in it, this is true. However, the percentage of women that become actual porn stars vs the percentage of men watching it are two different things. Most women do not get into the adult film world. Most men however do seem to watch porn. I think that's were we are headed actually..more men opting for virtual sex lives and not real ones. The sad thing is that while women miss out, so do men. And usually men are missing out more because they aren't learning anything valuable from porn. Well let's stick to the topic and not the usual porn crusade. It gets annoying to see it all the time. I agree there are bad aspects to porn but that discussion is not what the OP intended to talk about. I will say I have a preference for meeting women in real life.
Woggle Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Does anybody here ask why many men are choosing porn over dealing with real women? Find out the why and maybe you can find a solution.
spiderowl Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 It's very common with OLD. I've wondered why guys seem to do this when the same guy probably wouldn't dare to say such things to a woman they'd bumped into socially in real life. I think there's an element of 'Oh, she won't be interested in me, so I might as well get right to the point'. Of course, she isn't going to be interested in him after that. It is a form of sexual aggression, like pushing you to pay attention to him. It really puzzles me that guys don't seem to get that this is completely counter-productive. They are shooting themselves in the foot. I think they feel sexually frustrated and, yes, online they see us as objects, much like the women in XMagazine or something, someone to fantasise about and w**k over. Maybe women are better at avoiding objectification like this, perhaps because we tend to be more empathic. Such behaviour demonstrates a severe lack of empathy. I think the last thing these guys expect is that a woman will respond positively to these messages, so don't feel guilty about not doing.
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