vhshowdown Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 My ex called me at 4am this morning and left a message that her father passed away. That if I wanted to I could call her mom today, etc.... Man, what a dilemma I dont know what to do. I have been going with no contact for couple weeks now. Having said this, I assume my ex is with someone else, so I really dont want to call. I have been pretty much convincing myself that we are not getting back together, so this contact right now would be very difficult. But yet, I dont want to seem like I dont care. But, I am NO LONGER PART OF THE FAMILY, right?!?!?!?!?!?!?! what do i do??
ntovrhm Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 You should call, and keep it short and brief. The NC contact rule, and people, correct me if I'm wrong, is not supposed to be that harsh where you can't reach out to someone in a compassionate way in such a horrible circumstance. It will make it look like you are a uncaring person (and I assume that you are not that). I would keep it short and brief, and just about the sorry you feel for her and her family. Then back to no contact. I'm not even sure if this isn't an occasion where you go to the wake and/or funeral (but you should go with someone else if possible). Good luck.
sportsloving Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 Should treat it as you would for a friend of yours. Call the family, express your sorrow and leave it at that. Good luck to you ...
Author vhshowdown Posted June 23, 2004 Author Posted June 23, 2004 Thanks for the advice guys. I guess I need to pay my respect to her mom. But I am not going to the funeral. And I am not gonna bring up my ex to her either. Just pay my respect, anything I can do, etc.... and send some flowers......... and thats it....
ntovrhm Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 You should also say something to your ex (losing a parent has to be rough)., just like "I am sorry foryour loss" or something. Now is not the time to have NC out of spite, but keep it short and simple.
Author vhshowdown Posted June 23, 2004 Author Posted June 23, 2004 Well I paid my respects to her mom on the phone. She was real glad I called. Nothing was said about my ex, so that was cool. I doubt I will talk to her, cause that is why she called at 4am this morning. He passed away Monday evening, so there was no reason to call me that early, except to not have to talk to me I guess....
ntovrhm Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 Ahhh, I see. I thought she called you shortly after her father died . . . you did the right thing . . .
CurlyIam Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 Wait, did your ex call at 4am or did his mom call? If his mom called, I think you could talk to her a few times over the phone, regardless of your relationship with her son. If he called you, well, that tells something !!!
Author vhshowdown Posted June 24, 2004 Author Posted June 24, 2004 Originally posted by CurlyIam Wait, did your ex call at 4am or did his mom call? If his mom called, I think you could talk to her a few times over the phone, regardless of your relationship with her son. If he called you, well, that tells something !!! My ex called me at 4am Wed morn, left a message about her dad passing away. So I called her mom, and her mom told me he actually passed away monday nite 5:45. So now my problem is, why did my ex call me at 4am a day and half later. Makes no sense at all. So I am sympathetic about the situation, but I am not going to contact my ex over this, not that I could anyway, being her phone is disconnected and I have no way to get a hold of her..........
Author vhshowdown Posted June 25, 2004 Author Posted June 25, 2004 Well, just as I was saying I wasnt gonna contact my EX about all this, she calls last nite. So, I ask how are you holding up, etc.... she asks if I called her mom, which I did. Then she goes on to say she is with someone, and that they are real happy now, etc.... So, I guess I know where I stand now..... But I had already known thats what was gonna happen. Life really sucks sometimes, and I really dont know what is expected from me in it. Problem now is that I feel so all alone again..... I hate this feeling
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