Jump to content

My boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me and I'm missing him bad!

hurting1982

By hurting1982
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

hurting1982 Member

hurting1982

Posted
Posted

I've never posted on a forum before so bare with me....

 

I got with a guy 7 months ago now who I'd liked for years and years. We hit it off immediately like we'd known each other for years! We got on amazingly and were officially a couple after about a week which is not something I'd normally do but it just felt right. Before long he moved out of his flat and moved in with a friend who lived miles away. We'd seen each other every night since we met and being quite far away was hard as we were getting so used to each others company. We decided this was like a step backwards n decided after much conversation that he would move in with me....again not something I'd normally do. we just had so much in common and I hadn't felt this way in years.

 

We got on amazingly still...I'd never been so happy in a relationship and he was the same! His best mate even told me how he'd never been so happy. It felt amazing to be a couple like this.

 

After about 3 months he told me he loved me! After a tricky breakup the year before I absolutely melted at hearing this and told him the same. It was the best feeling I'd ever felt to feel like this knowing he felt the same.

 

Shortly after this though he started working away at weekends and I couldn't always go due to working but went with him when I could. We were just loving spending as much time together as we could!

 

I'd say probably a month before the break up, things started to change. I'd said from the offset that if there were any problems to let me know and we'd agreed. He just didn't seem himself anymore and we'd gotten into a rut of doing the same thing every night just crashing in front of the telly. I thought it was just the fact that he was working all the time that he was tired and to be fair I didn't help matters myself and didn't push to change this which I wish now that I had of. The gym used to be a big part of his life and he had interests too which I had the same interests in but always seemed to not follow up and take part in these interest....

 

Well 2 weeks ago I heard those dreaded words..."we need to talk"

 

My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. He went on to tell me that he'd been feeling ill with chest pains for a month worrying about telling me it wasn't working. He said we'd drifted apart and we'd become more of a friendship and that the spark we had had gone.

 

I asked him if that was it...if this was his final decision and we were finishing it. He said yes. He had to follow what his heart was telling him and end it. He was so upset too. I asked him if we could just have some space and see how things go, but he said it wasn't fair on me hoping things would change because he couldn't see us getting back to the way we were.

 

I've honestly never felt a pain in my body like it....like I'd got a dagger in my chest! I couldn't understand why he didn't want to try work things out. I let him go though because I didn't want to cause hin any more stress than he'd already gone through getting worked up about telling me.

 

The next day he text asking if I was ok? I felt like saying no not really but I didn't. We both agreed thar our heads were all over the place and it felt weird at the moment. He still text me now every few days to see how I am and it's really confusing me! Does he still care or not?

 

We did meet up and talk but we decided to give each other some space and he said he'd made up his mind and I'd be the first to know if he changes it again.

 

I'm really struggling to not text him although I know I should give him space, but I'm worried he'll forget about me completely and I miss him so much! I really love him and would do anything to get him back but I just don't know what to do.

 

Any advice would be much appreciate. Thanks for reading that. Know it was a long one :)

MissBrunette84 Established Member

MissBrunette84

Posted
Posted

Aww hunni I'm sorry you're going through this, it is honestly te worst feeling in the world but I think at this point try no contact, just so you can take a step back from it, it is very hard I know but not being in contact even if he asks how you are is kinder to yourself and put things into perspective and gives you both space to think

  • Author
hurting1982 Member

hurting1982

Posted
  • Author
Posted

thank you for taking the time to read my very long thread

 

i honestly know that is best not to contact him. its just so hard to go from what we had to this. If we'd of always argued id understand it but we didnt. we'd argued once in the whole realtionship.

 

I went through all this with a long term ex proabably about a year ago and the pain of this is even worse than that. We were just so happy that this all seems so surreal at the moment.

 

We both let the relationship go stale, and i really now wish that id of done something about it sooner.

MissBrunette84 Established Member

MissBrunette84

Posted
Posted

I know, it's a hard transition to go from being close to somebody to almost being strangers over night. No contact is good because he will have time to think too and maybe think that it wasn't so bad or he misses you. So it's important to let it breathe a little :)

  • Author
hurting1982 Member

hurting1982

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

i know youre right. I just dont want to just let him go because what we had was really good. But i know you cant convince a person to change their mind by begging and pleading, ive done that before and it doesnt look good on you and i know it doesnt work.

 

Just feel that ive lost my best friend as well as my partner

Edited by hurting1982
MissBrunette84 Established Member

MissBrunette84

Posted
Posted

As harsh as it sounds I don't think you have a choice. The best thing really is no contact, even trying to stay friends will just be too difficult with so many feelings in the way. You both need to breathe, I do know how hard it is as I just came out of a 4 year on/off relationship and it's only been 10 days, granted I did break NC a few days ago but it didn't do me any favours but no contact is helping me alot.

Boynextdoor Established Member

Boynextdoor

Posted
Posted
As harsh as it sounds I don't think you have a choice. The best thing really is no contact, even trying to stay friends will just be too difficult with so many feelings in the way. You both need to breathe, I do know how hard it is as I just came out of a 4 year on/off relationship and it's only been 10 days, granted I did break NC a few days ago but it didn't do me any favours but no contact is helping me alot.

 

 

 

I agree! NC will mak you think right and get yer acts right whether its worth giving a try or better to move on. Well havent experienced it yet but this is what ive been seeing for the past few days of my stay her in loveshack.org.

 

 

 

Good thing about it is that im learning a lot

MissBrunette84 Established Member

MissBrunette84

Posted
Posted

No contact is definitely the way forward after my ex in jan broke up with me I got fed up of the on/off not making his mind up, so I went no contact and 3 weeks later he turned up at my door in tears, but 3 weeks before he didn't even know if he loved me and broke it off! Never the less he's broke up with me again 10 days ago for the same reason he doesn't know what he wants. So I've accepted it and gone no contact again. It just helps give you space from the situation and can help you see it for what it was. The first fee days are hardest but it gets easier, I promise. I'm

Hoping this time though in my situation he won't show up at my door again as he needs to grow up some, but in your situation it could be better ya know? You have nothing to loose at this point

  • Author
hurting1982 Member

hurting1982

Posted
  • Author
Posted

thanks guys. I know no contact isn't all about getting your ex back it is designed to help you clear your mind and get over the break up. Im hoping this is one of the instances though where it works out in the end. This one was really the one for me and he is such as nice guy. I just really wish id of tried harder though, i knew he was hard work when we first got together. I fell like i let things go boring and stale, and no one wants that kind of relationship

MissBrunette84 Established Member

MissBrunette84

Posted
Posted

You said you were only together for 7 months and lived together, I think maybe you moved way too fast. Use no contact to reflect on the relationship and think of ways to move forward

black_shemer Established Member

black_shemer

Posted
Posted

were both on the same situation ryt now.and im sorry i cant tell u exctly wat to do.at least i know im not the only one who got this situation.wat i do now,is to control myself from textin him. Cause if i do,i will just put myself in hoping for something dat will not happen.if he contacts again?tell him directly wat u really feel from that of his action and change ur number.no contact is kinder to one self.:)

  • Author
hurting1982 Member

hurting1982

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Definitely was too quick. Only did it tho because I was with my last ex 7 years...we moved in together and that ended horribly. So I just thought...what have I got to lose?

 

Well the no contact worked in one way. He's text me again to ask if I'm ok? Just kept conversation short. I'll get to no contact one day! Baby steps

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...