LoveToCuddle Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 How do your parents think about moving to your SO? Would you still be in a long distance relationship if it will take 9 years?
ladyabstrused Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 Wow 9 years? Why would it take so long? How can it take so long? I thought waiting 5 years was long enough! I can't imagine 9. Is that what you're going through? My mother wouldn't approve but that's only cos we haven't really talked things out yet. How about you?
d'Arthez Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 Nine years is too long. In the "best case" scenario that would be because of legal issues. It will get even be more terrible if the goalposts keep changing. That is a lot of potential change to cope with (e.g. career changes, changes in beliefs, imagined future (obvious ones such as kids, where to live as well as less obvious ones such as new non-shared interests). At the end of the journey you may well find that the two of you are not working towards the same goals. It is easy to grow apart in a LDR, even if you do have the chance to spend a fair amount of time together in real life.
HeavenOrHell Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 I would only stay in an LDR for that long if we were meeting frequently, at least once a month for several days, and had plenty of daily communication, including lots of skyping, and if there was a definite end in sight. And it would only work if they were so special that neither of us wanted to give up on it, there would need to be plenty of enthusiasm and sharing closeness to keep it going for that long. How do your parents think about moving to your SO? Would you still be in a long distance relationship if it will take 9 years?
pettie Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 How do your parents think about moving to your SO? Would you still be in a long distance relationship if it will take 9 years? 1. Even when my parents don't know him yet, they know about him and our relationship. They know that it's a tangible possibility for me to move to him, so I don't think it would shock them if I finally decided to. 2. I would, if I thought it's worth it. I knew a case of a LDR of 7 years, now hapilly married. I'm sure there are plenty of cases like this, even when they are not the rule. Still, as HoH said, keeping the sense of closeness no matter what, with the amount of communication and visits that would suit us both.
NYBelle Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 9 years? That is quite a long time! I'm currently going on a year. It's going well, but difficult of course. I have every intention of moving to be with him as soon as I possibly can. (School commitment). There is two possible dates set. Depending on if school accepts me into the nursing program, I will either be moving next summer or in 3 years when I hopefully graduate. My mother knows of these plans and has no huge objection, except for the fact that I am her only child and I will be moving away. The only reason she is okay with it is because she has met him and likes him, and that I have family where I will be moving as well.
Author LoveToCuddle Posted May 10, 2012 Author Posted May 10, 2012 (edited) Sorry for my horrible english grammar and rambling: Yeah it might take 9 years but if we survive we will have a good life together.So far we both still think/know it's worth it. I don't like the idea at all but yeah.I've also read that some had been long distance for 7 years with succes. So I'm keeping my head up high. Yes so far we talk hours and hours a day so it feels a bit like we allready kind of ''life together''. Only the phsysical part is hard at moments.(like after a fight you just wan't to hug and make up) And my parents don't like the fact at all that the chance is big that we will have our future there. But we will just see what is good for both of us. It's gonna be a hard time though! but so far I'm strong enough. Longest seperation is going on for 7 months now.Still 2 months to go and I can finally hold him again:love: FOR A MONTH ! Yes it is very hard but also not that hard because time flies! I do hope this will only be the only time we have to wait so long.Oh and yes It does bring lots of fustration and we do have lots of fights but we just can't let eachother go.(lots those fights of came from miscommunication,misunderstanding and fustrations but we talked it out) We know it's just meant to be. How some things went is just a bit too weird. Like there must be something that directed us to being together. Do you guys also have that feeling? it can't be just a coincidence it must have been more than that. today were together for 10 months.We saw eachother 2 times(first time 10 days second time 3 weeks) We met online. From the moment we started talking at skype with the mic we were allready full into eachother.Both didn't know this love/deep connection could excist.We started counting from the moment we were dating online. Meeting him was not scary at all.After 5 minutes we were allready hugging and kissing and we both felt we allready knew eachother for years. Yes it's hard and different! But hey our life isn't boring! at least we have lots of adventures! (and kind of cheap vacations ) haha. I do feel like long distance relationships can work. Cause we are kind of forced to talk a lot about everything and open up a lot. ''Normal'' couples might not communicate like that and only be at the same level after some longer period. Yup I'm very positive (ATM! ). Good luck to you all and if you need some one to talk to I'm here for you ! Just send me a message. Oh and we are +/- 5 hours of flying appart. Edited May 10, 2012 by LoveToCuddle
shorty7 Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 (edited) How do your parents think about moving to your SO? Would you still be in a long distance relationship if it will take 9 years? 1. I am an adult and my parents trust me to make my own decisions and mistakes. My parents taught me to be a responsible adult, so they know I know the consequences of making bad decisions and that I won't come crying to them unless things got really, really screwed up. 2. Not without an end defined. 3. I just got done telling my SO this morning that I'm not moving in with him (we're in a LDR with the Pacific Ocean between us) unless marriage was the purpose of it. If we were to move in together, I'd be the one to make the big shift because the job economy for his career is unstable here and I can be a little more transient/flexible. It's not that I'm old fashioned or anything, but I don't want to treat the relationship I have with him as cheaply as just being a "live-in girlfriend." I'm serious about making my life with him work for the long haul, so I'd want him to treat what we have together with the same amount of respect as well. Oh and we are +/- 5 hours of flying appart.That's not so bad. Good luck to you. I see that you're still in the honeymoon stages of the relationship and there's nothing wrong with that. Just enjoy the present for now, and don't worry about the future. Edited May 10, 2012 by shorty7
pettie Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 It's gonna be a hard time though! but so far I'm strong enough. Longest seperation is going on for 7 months now.Still 2 months to go and I can finally hold him again:love: FOR A MONTH ! Yes it is very hard but also not that hard because time flies! Precisely this. It's way better to *know* you have to wait 2 months, than waiting an indefinite amount of time! This applies between visits and for the long run as well. Gives you strenght to go on. Oh and we are +/- 5 hours of flying appart. Lucky! we are 14 hours apart, by plane. (not the Pacific like Shorty, but the Atlantic in between!)
Author LoveToCuddle Posted May 11, 2012 Author Posted May 11, 2012 New question: How do you handle your SO when she/he is really edgy? Everything went well for some days but today we're just both EDGY.. almost 3 times that hell broke loose:mad: Then also words came up like ''you're so dramatic'' lasts 5 mins though and then we kinda laugh again. Can't I change the topic into LDR ramble?
ladyabstrused Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 New question: How do you handle your SO when she/he is really edgy? Everything went well for some days but today we're just both EDGY.. almost 3 times that hell broke loose:mad: Then also words came up like ''you're so dramatic'' lasts 5 mins though and then we kinda laugh again. If you take what he does personally, it's going down a negative road. Worse if you respond emotionally. If you don't take it personally, and actually try to seem supportive of why he's edgy, it might go down a positive road. Then you both can talk about what's making the both of you edgy so much. I've done both roads. Former one isn't pretty at all. Latter one isn't easy either, it takes patience and work and understanding.
Author LoveToCuddle Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 May have to wait longer than 2 months... so it's probably gonna be more then 7 months of not seeing eachother. Want to cry .. So tired of waiting allready .. but let's hope for the best.
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