superstaroxox Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 So I recently ended my three-year marriage with my husband. I married him at 18, we were both extremely young. We were each other's first serious relationship and as soon as we got those first love feelings, we took it and ran with them and got married within a few months of dating. Now don't get me wrong, I was IN LOVE with him. I remember he used to be so amazing to me. And he was in love with me. But things started to change, of course, and he started to get extremely jealous and controlling. He had had an extremely rough life and had no family or friends whatsoever, and I was the only thing he had. So I believe he really latched on to me and felt like I could NEVER let him go. He told me he would kill me if I ever cheated on him. Our relationship was very dysfunctional. I was the only one working our entire relationship. I payed the rent, the bills, everything, and never had extra money whatsoever. I could NOT have any contact with guys at all at first or he would FLIP. We would argue constantly and he was angry all the time. However, we would still tell me I was his soulmate and he loved me with all his heart. He would treat me with love a lot, but he would still act the same way with the other stuff. Our arguments got progessively worse, but about a year later he did "sincerely" apologize for telling me he would kill me and said he never meant it and would never hurt me no matter what. He was never abusive, but he was still really controlling. He got better with me talking to guys, but he only wanted me to make small talk at work and stuff. He encouraged me to go out with my girlfriends to the mall and things like that, but sometimes he would accuse me of doing things when I did and would want to know EXACTLY what I was doing. At times, I had a suspicion that he was using drugs because he did have a drug problem a long time before. He got us into some horrible circumstances where we almost got killed once by some drug dealers. I grew extremely depressed and very anxious because of what he told me before, that he would kill me. I would constantly think about it and have horriblr thoughts. I had no friends and lost a lot of contact with my family, we were very close before. My life turned upside down and I was horribly depressed and started taking medication. Finally, I worked up the courage to leave him. I had wanted to for SO long but I was scared, scared of what he might do, scared that I would miss him because I did love him sooo much still. I moved back in with my parents. We decided to try to make it work at first, but his HYSTERICAL behavior messed that up. He would call me 24/7 and at all hours of the night, freaking out. He claimed he went to go get some drugs but wound up leaving the situation because he didn't want to hurt me. We continued to horribly argue and he told me horrible things that hurt really bad, like I never loved him and I had cheated on him and I was a horrible person. He said I had completely ruined his life and he was glad we never had kids because I would have thrown them in the trash. I decided to break up with him for good, and of course he FLIPPED. He threatened suicide, he threatened to kill any guy he ever saw me with, to come to my school and shoot himself in front of me, the list was endless. He also claimed that my family had brainwashed me into leaving him and that this was all their fault. His behavior was BIZARRE and he would stay up at all hours of the night texting me crazy things, and they would progessively get unreadable and not make any sense at ALL. One night, he threatened to come over and called my mom horrible names on the phone. We had to call the cops because we had no idea what he'd do. Still, after he apologized, I STILL decided to be there for him because I knew he needed me in his life, and be his friend. It went great for a while, and he was even acting as if he wanted me to start going out and even get guy friends. We were there for each other through what we were going through and it felt great. But then, once I added 2 guys from work to my Facebook, he flipped again, even though he had just told me a couple days ago he didn't care. He did drugs that day and told me it was my fault and now his life was completely ruined because of me. Now he's been texting me horrible things all day. He came to my house and knocked on my door and demanded I talk to him even though I told him I didn't want to, he said I HAD to. He texted me telling me he's been cheating on me all these years and even said he would talk to me on the phone while he was doing it. It made me sick and sad. I am just empty. I want to move on so bad but he hurts me so horribly. He acts like he cares so much and then acts like a different person, probably because of the drugs as well. I'm so hurt. I blocked his texts from my phone and blocked him on Facebook. I guess I just have to completely cut off contact, no matter how bad it hurts. I just wish he could be a normal person and not treat me like this, I don't deserve it!
LadyGrey Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 Just as surely as I'm typing this post to you, I'm going to tell you that you ARE an abused woman. A man does not have to put his hands on you to abuse you. Here is a link that will hopefully help you to understand that what he is doing is very harmful and very wrong and you also need to understand that he is dangerous and he could very well hurt you physically. Symptoms of Emotional Abuse Please educate yourself and please go talk with law enforcement about what your options are in regards to protecting yourself. Please don't fool yourself this man is very dangerous and he is about to come even more unglued and I'm very afraid that he will hurt you. Do not under any circumstances be alone with him and do not put talking to law enforcement off another day. Your life may depend on what you do about this today.
Author superstaroxox Posted May 10, 2012 Author Posted May 10, 2012 Just as surely as I'm typing this post to you, I'm going to tell you that you ARE an abused woman. A man does not have to put his hands on you to abuse you. Here is a link that will hopefully help you to understand that what he is doing is very harmful and very wrong and you also need to understand that he is dangerous and he could very well hurt you physically. Symptoms of Emotional Abuse Please educate yourself and please go talk with law enforcement about what your options are in regards to protecting yourself. Please don't fool yourself this man is very dangerous and he is about to come even more unglued and I'm very afraid that he will hurt you. Do not under any circumstances be alone with him and do not put talking to law enforcement off another day. Your life may depend on what you do about this today. Thank you. I tried to tell the officer that came to my house the day he threatened to come what was going on. He seemed bored that he came because my husband never showed up, and just asked if I wanted to make a report. I didn't want to cuz he didn't end up showing up and I didn't want to make him more mad. I'm scared, even though I honestly don't think he'd hurt me, I don't know WHO he is anymore. I'm scared for my family cuz he keeps saying it's their fault and today was the second time he showed up here. I told him NOT to come over and over again, but he walked all the way from his house which is a long walk. He only knocked then left, but he's just been acting completely bizarre. I cut off all contact with him today and he just keeps leaving me bizarre messages (I haven't had a chance to go down and change my # yet, but I did figure out how to block his texts) saying I need help and need counseling. He'll freak on me and tell me he hates me, then say "Okay I'll see you at lunch at work tomorrow I'll pick you up and I'll pay, I love you xoxox." I'm worried to make a report for fear he will get more mad. He already has a criminal record so it wouldn't take much to get him put away. I just don't want him to try to get revenge somehow! I'm so stressed!
Recommended Posts