darkmoon Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 please can anyone tell me if it's ok to go straight to speaking to likely prospects if doing OLD? i see a pattern on LS; texts and emails to and fro, but that's where the connections often begin and end, so i hope anybody who has seen the profile/s when doing OLD and gone straight to having a chat on the phone has better results with some real bonding - please can you tell me?
january2011 Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 I'm not comfortable giving out my mobile or landline to someone I'd just met on a dating site. I'd have to get to know them a bit first. YMMV - some OLD users are happy to do this. I think it's up to you.
Emilia Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 You need to meet the person as soon as you can. Texts and emails are meaningless and only establish false intimacy. I give my number out (you can have a second SIM card just for this purpose!) and I wouldn't meet up with someone who wasn't comfortable doing the same. Don't keep in touch and chit chat, it's meaningless. Meet the other person, if they are not willing, move on. The guy I ended up dating from OLD was very responsive to this and we spoke on the phone beforehand too. You can screen out awkward types easily this way.
CarrieT Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 I am in the camp that likes to talk sooner rather than later; I hated spending hours with a computer in my lap trying to get to know someone when I could learn about someone far more quickly through conversation. And for those worried about exposing phone numbers, there are ways to make a phone call by blocking your number first (most cell phone companies have codes you punch in before making the call). As a woman, I would always ask for their number and call with my number blocked.
SJC2008 Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 From a mans perspective, I ask for the # on the 3rd email. It usually goes initial contact, ask a q or 2 if they respond, suggest a date and ask the #. If they don't give the # by the 3rd/4th email I'm outie homie. OLD is narrow the field to the filed and get a date. I've only had one woman not give a # within the 3/4 emails so guess what happened?
SJC2008 Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 From a mans perspective, I ask for the # on the 3rd email. It usually goes initial contact, ask a q or 2 if they respond, suggest a date and ask the #. If they don't give the # by the 3rd/4th email I'm outie homie. OLD is narrow the field to what you're looking for and get a date. I've only had one woman not give a # within the 3/4 emails so guess what happened?
Kamille Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 I would rather decide within a few written messages to meet in a public space than speak on the phone. A guy asked to speak on the phone the first night we exchanged messages and I declined. I was exhausted and did not feel like doing small talk with a stranger right then and there. With the first non OLD contact being meeting in person, I at least get advanced notice about the date.
mickleb Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 The phone is super-important to me, and saves a whole lot of time. You can get a lot from a phone call, so it should happen ASAP. The first date should happen pretty soon afterwards. I'm a woman and I don't have an issue with giving my number out. There are methods to deal with misuse of a phone number, if required - and these can be avoided with the methods mentioned above, if you prefer. I know it's important to be sensible, but there are a lot less crazies out there than people imagine, from my experience. Having said that, I'm now 40 and have an excellent crazy-radar and action plan. I've worked with many who could be placed on that scale, as well as met a fair few of them, so that helps me to feel confident that the risks I choose to take are well-calculated.
firehawk_1 Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 it never works. its just a time wasting excersize and to get a "buzz" but not actually do something about it. sure, anyone gives emails and phone numbers but... no one actually really meets up that often or just looking for a "time passing" event
gotye Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 too much texting is waste of time, man I meet within a week or two if I am truly interested
Andy_K Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 My philosophy is that there is no point in getting the number unless you either have agreed to meet up or you are about to. Ask for a date, get a number to sort out the fine details. Some people advocate phoning, but IMO it's not going to make a whole lot of difference if you sort out details by phone or text. I prefer text but I've done both.
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