FitChick Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 You should always speak on the phone before meeting. You can weed people out that way. I had a few emails from a guy who sounded promising but when we actually spoke, he was so manic that I felt totally drained after the call. Turns out he had just gotten out of rehab for addiction to prescription drugs. If we hadn't spoken and had met after only exchanging emails or texts, it would have been a waste of time.
d'Arthez Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 You should always speak on the phone before meeting. You can weed people out that way. I had a few emails from a guy who sounded promising but when we actually spoke, he was so manic that I felt totally drained after the call. Turns out he had just gotten out of rehab for addiction to prescription drugs. If we hadn't spoken and had met after only exchanging emails or texts, it would have been a waste of time. Phone is good. But you can also learn quite a few things from online chats. People who write one or two words per line are quite annoying. People who take an eon to compose a simple sentence can also be weeded out that way.
dasein Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 I don't think either of them did anything wrong. As for his 'interview' questions, he's divorced with a young child. Automatic dealbreaker for many singles so why should he waste going out on a date (and pay for it, presumably) for her to turn around and say she wouldn't date someone divorced with a kid. Likewise, it wouldn't be fair to her to spring that later on anyways, it should be upfront info. You're both testing the waters, you were busy this week, maybe he was in contact with several women, decided he wasn't ready, it didn't work out, no biggie. Nothing wrong for either. Perhaps next weekend was "his" weekend for the child and busy schedules weren't worth the effort for a text contact. Says it better than I could. Will be interesting to hear whether OP hears from this guy again or not. The advice I give men applies to women also, OP, as others have said, keep things simple and binary before meeting face to face. Consider avoiding chat sessions with folks you don't know going forward, and let their willingness to actually ask you out screen legit candidates for you. Good luck.
gaius Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 you can't connect with someone on an emotional level via email and text. it's not possible. really, this is very silly, and one of if not the major drawback to online dating. you don't know anything about anyone from texts or emails. there's nothing to consider until you meet in person. nor is there any sort of emotional connection at that point, zero. Of course you can connect through writing on a basic level. If it was impossible to connect through writing nobody would ever meet up through here, much less get married. He basically said he couldn't read her, didn't know if she was even comfortable with him being a father or if she really wanted to meet. Sounds like they weren't clicking at all.
thatone Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 Of course you can connect through writing on a basic level. If it was impossible to connect through writing nobody would ever meet up through here, much less get married. He basically said he couldn't read her, didn't know if she was even comfortable with him being a father or if she really wanted to meet. Sounds like they weren't clicking at all. yeah but that's the thing, you can't get all that from text messages. furthermore, why would you want to? the point of dating is to find people you will eventually have sex with. if you didn't care about being sexually attracted, you could just as well have a roommate and/or a dog. and you can't have sexual attraction over a text message.
PlumPrincess Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 But after I read the VERY NEXT MORNING when you texted him and he replied back, "who is this??" AND his dating profile magically disappeared, it's very obvious the guy's girlfriend or wife caught his sorry ass and made him delete his profile. Hell, it may also have been his girlfriend/wife that texted back, "who is this?" If a guy is angry because you show no interest, he'll just ignore your texts or write back that he's not interested. But to reply back to someone he was texting with only 10 or 12 hours earlier saying, "who is this?" indicates that SOMEONE ELSE was checking his phone out. And not in a good way. Men don't take down their dating profiles just because a gal says she's too busy to date this week. But they suddenly take them down when they're CAUGHT by their girlfriends or wives. Very, very interesting observation.
fishtaco Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 I don't see any problem. The OP didn't do anything bad, the guy didn't do anything bad. People are flaky. I don't see what the big deal is. Happens all the time. I don't do OLD, but when I approach women in real life, same thing. They'd flirt and give me their numbers, then not respond, or whatever. I don't even think anything of it when someone disappears for no reason. Just shrug and carry on. Next.
Recommended Posts