NeverDated Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Sorry, OP. I have a "friend" who does this kind of thing to guys. She thinks she's pretty hot s**t and is perfectly willing to degrade or demean someone to prove her female awesomeness. Haven't seen her in months (and don't care to) because the last time we socialized she had a guy to the brink of tears in a bar. Long story short, she's a train wreck. Gets all her self-esteem by acting like a whore and getting guys to chase her for booty. I know it was a hurtful comment, but try to realize that the girl who said that to you is probably the same way.
KR10N Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Oh man this caused me to stop breathing for about 1 minute or so. It just happened at the deli today when I was getting a sandwich & she was just in front of me right & she was really cute & she was on her cell phone so I waited for her to get off before I started to chat her up right. She looked at me the whole time & when I started to talk she made a eww face & she said you'r so ugly get away from me. She left the line right there! I was on line & I couldn't catch my breath . I never had anyone say something so cruel to me before .Was this a teen?
ohmygoshistalk Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 hmm who says that im always around egomaniacs, serial modelizers and ego inflated females..but ive honestly never heard anyone even say or joke about that.
udolipixie Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 To me if this is the cruelest thing someone has said to you in your 24 years of life you're quite fortunate as many guys/gals are bashed directly and to me even far more degradingly for their race, gender, orientation, and attractiveness daily to their face. It's probably best suited to concern yourself about having an anxiety attack when someone says something you dislike rather than how she hurt your feelings. Legally no one is obligated to treat you nicely just legally and there's nothing illegal about being mean or insulting to someone within limits. Societally she was obligated to be nice, polite, considerate aka placating and subservient aware of brusing male ego and pride and likely she got tired of that and just went for brutal honesty that would let you be aware your gesture wasn't welcomed or enjoyed. Just as you have the freedom to approach or wait around until said person is off the phone and talk to who you want she has the freedom to say what she wishes as long as it isn't slander and such. 2
Eddie Edirol Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 I think u deal with it wrong really do. Its wrong to be mad just 'cause guys look at u & wanna talk to u 'cause they might feel attracted & wanna give a go & hope maybe they can get lucky for once & have a great girl. They dont expect the kinds of reactions u give. We dont know that u are upset or tired of us or something how can we u know? She deals with it that way probably because when she was nice to previous men, they wouldnt leave her alone. So next time you chat a girl up, expect her to react harshly. When she does, since you expected it, you laugh at her and walk away. Youre a MAN dammit, youre not supposed to get hurt feelings from petty things like this. You need thicker skin if you are going to continue to chat women up on the street. BTW good job on walking up to her and saying something in the first place, theres plenty of people around here that you could teach that to.
OhHey Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 I think u deal with it wrong really do. Its wrong to be mad just 'cause guys look at u & wanna talk to u 'cause they might feel attracted & wanna give a go & hope maybe they can get lucky for once & have a great girl. They dont expect the kinds of reactions u give. We dont know that u are upset or tired of us or something how can we u know? This. I hate how some girls think men are all being creepy because they stare or whistle whatever. Sure some of them may be perves, but a lot are like the OP here.... In any case saying you're ugly and making a whole scene just because you made an advancement is stupid. Some girls are like that, my sister was friends with one. My sister told me that friend and her were at a dance and some dude comes up asking that friend for a dance. Her friend said "Ummm no" bitchy like. I asked my sister what she said to her after and my sister told her that what if it was that kids first time asking out a girl here or something? Her friend responded with "who cares, he can't have just anyone" My sister said "He asked you out for a dance!! Excuse that girl, OP.... some of them are bitches in every sense of the word....
Woggle Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Sorry, OP. I have a "friend" who does this kind of thing to guys. She thinks she's pretty hot s**t and is perfectly willing to degrade or demean someone to prove her female awesomeness. Haven't seen her in months (and don't care to) because the last time we socialized she had a guy to the brink of tears in a bar. Long story short, she's a train wreck. Gets all her self-esteem by acting like a whore and getting guys to chase her for booty. I know it was a hurtful comment, but try to realize that the girl who said that to you is probably the same way. I saw a woman do this to a guy in a bar once and a week later I see her in there and she tried to flirt with me. I brutally shut her down and told she is delusional for even thinking I would even want to play around with her and she wasn't worth a drunken fling let alone an actual date. It was the only time I ever rejected a woman harshly and it was well deserved. Of course she got angry and told me how rude and disrespectful I was. 2
ScreamingTrees Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Honestly, if a girl ever acted like that and told me I was an ugly bastard to my face, I'd just raise a brow and say "Well, yeah, what's the problem? You're fat, I'm ugly.. We're a perfect match!" I could never just stand there and be disrespected for saying hello and being friendly. Who cares if you're not interested? Does that give you the right to treat someone else like ****, regardless of how good looking or ugly you think they are? There's a humane way of doing it, and then there's the ******* way of doing it, which is totally uncalled for, especially if the person has self respect and doesn't agree with your highly valued aesthetic opinion. I can't imagine any girl thinking that I'm ugly anyway.
KR10N Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 This. I hate how some girls think men are all being creepy because they stare or whistle whatever. Sure some of them may be perves, but a lot are like the OP here.... In any case saying you're ugly and making a whole scene just because you made an advancement is stupid. Some girls are like that, my sister was friends with one. My sister told me that friend and her were at a dance and some dude comes up asking that friend for a dance. Her friend said "Ummm no" bitchy like. I asked my sister what she said to her after and my sister told her that what if it was that kids first time asking out a girl here or something? Her friend responded with "who cares, he can't have just anyone" My sister said "He asked you out for a dance!! Excuse that girl, OP.... some of them are bitches in every sense of the word....Not sure what country you are from but in the states as a young child you are taught to believe that staring is rude. So when people do that to me, I just feel awkward. Whistling, however, I would actually think that would be a bit disrespectful. It might sound weird to some but I knew guys who did this and it was always an immediate response of sexual attraction. I've never harshly shut down a guy, but was asked on dates on more than one occasion from one guy. Even after I said no the first few times I was still polite to him. But he eventually acted all pissed as if I had been bitchy. Some men just can't seem to take no for an answer. 1
Emilia Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Oh man this caused me to stop breathing for about 1 minute or so. It just happened at the deli today when I was getting a sandwich & she was just in front of me right & she was really cute & she was on her cell phone so I waited for her to get off before I started to chat her up right. She looked at me the whole time & when I started to talk she made a eww face & she said you'r so ugly get away from me. She left the line right there! I was on line & I couldn't catch my breath . I never had anyone say something so cruel to me before . Sometimes people are cruel, you have to put it out of your thoughts. I hear men talk about me on the street sometimes, they think I can't hear them but of course when two guys are walking behind me sometimes their voices travel far enough. A lot of the time it's compliments but not always since not everyone likes the same thing. It's not like I ask for their opinions but I hear them anyway. It's just how it is. When I was about 18 I was very skinny because I didn't eat right. Didn't have an eating disorder or anything, it's more that my mum was never at home and I didn't know how to cook for myself. There was a bench I used to walk past in my home town that would have people sitting on and I heard some old guy comment loudly once that I looked like a beanstalk. That's quite harsh when your self-esteem as an 18 year-old isn't exactly high and what right did he have to put me down like that. The terrible thing was that I had to keep walking past that bench to the tube station each day -though never heard him or anyone else comment again. Don't look like a beanstalk anymore but you know, this stuff stings. S**t happens. 3
Romeofud Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 To me if this is the cruelest thing someone has said to you in your 24 years of life you're quite fortunate as many guys/gals are bashed directly and to me even far more degradingly for their race, gender, orientation, and attractiveness daily to their face. It's probably best suited to concern yourself about having an anxiety attack when someone says something you dislike rather than how she hurt your feelings. Legally no one is obligated to treat you nicely just legally and there's nothing illegal about being mean or insulting to someone within limits. Societally she was obligated to be nice, polite, considerate aka placating and subservient aware of brusing male ego and pride and likely she got tired of that and just went for brutal honesty that would let you be aware your gesture wasn't welcomed or enjoyed. Just as you have the freedom to approach or wait around until said person is off the phone and talk to who you want she has the freedom to say what she wishes as long as it isn't slander and such. No doubt lol. Its funny that Sweetheartt was just expressing how she felt about losers bugging her but yet someone from here got her booted. I'm just wow'd at how sensitive people are sometimes .
KR10N Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 No doubt lol. Its funny that Sweetheartt was just expressing how she felt about losers bugging her but yet someone from here got her booted. I'm just wow'd at how sensitive people are sometimes .It's getting pretty bad in real life too. Constant complaining is one quality I could never stand in a person. I hear complaints all the time from relatives and friends. Annoying. And you can't tell them to be proactive either. They just complain even more.
ThaWholigan Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 No doubt lol. Its funny that Sweetheartt was just expressing how she felt about losers bugging her but yet someone from here got her booted. I'm just wow'd at how sensitive people are sometimes . That may be so, and I didn't oblige in commenting on it, but at the same time she obviously knew she would be antagonizing the OP considering the subject matter. He is obviously more sensitive than most. I feel for the OP because I've been in his position, and while I may not have had a full blown anxiety attack upon being called ugly in public, it did not exactly make me feel good at the time. Besides, I've been called worse as a kid/teen. I empathize with his struggle, he is not much older than I am. 1
Romeofud Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 That may be so, and I didn't oblige in commenting on it, but at the same time she obviously knew she would be antagonizing the OP considering the subject matter. He is obviously more sensitive than most. I feel for the OP because I've been in his position, and while I may not have had a full blown anxiety attack upon being called ugly in public, it did not exactly make me feel good at the time. Besides, I've been called worse as a kid/teen. I empathize with his struggle, he is not much older than I am. I hear u man but I never went through sh*t like that. I was raised by my pops and he wasn't sensitive about a thing. Always told me and brothers to get out there and be a man and never let anyone make u feel different. Man, I'm sorry u been through that rough sh*t growing up but sometime in life u gotta buckle down and let these experiences make u stronger, u got me?
ThaWholigan Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 I hear u man but I never went through sh*t like that. I was raised by my pops and he wasn't sensitive about a thing. Always told me and brothers to get out there and be a man and never let anyone make u feel different. Man, I'm sorry u been through that rough sh*t growing up but sometime in life u gotta buckle down and let these experiences make u stronger, u got me? Well, I don't know if you have been reading any of my posts, but I am high functioning autistic, so it was never that simple . However, I understand what you're saying and trust me - I am actively powering up each experience .
samsungxoxo Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 I think she was around 18 or 19 & I'm 24 so its not that big difference.Even that's childish for her age. I really thought both of you were either in Junior High or high schoolers. She has a lot of growing up to do. But yeah that's only 1 rejection. Not everyone will like you and chances is she's an unstabled person. 2
ScreamingTrees Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 It doesn't mean anything to be rejected by some snot-nosed 18 year old brat. OP could walk out of that deli and see a 24 year old, noticeably more attractive than the one rejecting him, sending him signals.
KathyM Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Unfortunately, some women are nasty and rude, and don't care about a guy's feelings at all, and don't hesitate to reject him harshly if they perceive him as not at their level. They somehow get offended if a guy who they perceive as inferior to them, considers them to be attainable. Such is life. There are rude people everywhere you go practically, and sometimes you have the misfortune to run into one. I know a lot of attractive women who would turn a guy down gently if such a guy they had no interest in would approach, but unfortunately, there are the other types that don't care how you feel and will turn your confidence into mincemeat. Is it any wonder why men are often insecure when it comes to approaching women? The risk of humiliation is there, and it takes a pretty thick skin to overcome that fear.
ScreamingTrees Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Unfortunately, some women are nasty and rude, and don't care about a guy's feelings at all, and don't hesitate to reject him harshly if they perceive him as not at their level. They somehow get offended if a guy who they perceive as inferior to them, considers them to be attainable. Such is life. There are rude people everywhere you go practically, and sometimes you have the misfortune to run into one. I know a lot of attractive women who would turn a guy down gently if such a guy they had no interest in would approach, but unfortunately, there are the other types that don't care how you feel and will turn your confidence into mincemeat. Is it any wonder why men are often insecure when it comes to approaching women? The risk of humiliation is there, and it takes a pretty thick skin to overcome that fear. Guys just need to learn to have the self-respect to say "Hey, wait a minute, NO. There's nothing wrong with me. You can say no, but don't make me look like a chump, bitch! Your **** stinks the same as mine." 1
NeverDated Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Guys just need to learn to have the self-respect to say "Hey, wait a minute, NO. There's nothing wrong with me. You can say no, but don't make me look like a chump, bitch! Your **** stinks the same as mine." It's not about self-respect at all. It's about presence of mind. Ever heard of normalcy bias? A stranger acting outright hostile and disrespectful is so far outside the realm of normal that the brain can't come up with a course of action, so the only thing to fall back to is operating as if nothing is going on. Which means not engaging or acknowledging the "danger". These kind of postmortem shoulda/woulda/coulda's are really destructive.
LittlePrince Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 You left free speech at the door when you agreed to follow the guidelines to participate in this community. One cannot relinquish a basic human right no matter what one agreed to or other circumstances surrounding it. That the Internet, big corporations, and the law infringe upon this daily never put them in the right when they were clearly always in the wrong.
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