Maddy1984 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Hi everyone, I've been lurking here for awhile and finally decided to join. Here’s my story (sorry, it’s going to be long…) I've been with my boyfriend for eleven years. We started dating in high school at age 17. We moved in together six years ago. Living together has been pretty easy but we do have our flaws - We can be very passive/aggressive with each other. We’re both indecisive. I avoid confrontation. We are both stubborn. He can be a bit sloppy and lazy, and I am a neatfreak, etc. Our relationship though has always been based upon our strong friendship – we don’t fight and we have a lot in common. But we’ve always lacked romance and passion. Our intimate life has never been the greatest – We have a pretty “routine” sex life, and neither one of us seems motivated to try and change that. Another factor is I don’t find sex enjoyable with him – it’s always been painful and uncomfortable. I never questioned it initially, because I worked with my over the years doctor to find ways to make it better, but I am now wondering whether sex with someone else would be different. I just don’t know if I am attracted to him anymore. For the past three years my boyfriend has been unemployed. He has been hit hard by the recession since fewer employers in his area are hiring entry level positions, and there are a lot of qualified people also looking for work. He’s been trying hard, but it’s been tough since I’ve been left to work two jobs. He was very reluctant for a long time to even find a meaningless job like something in retail or even at a coffee shop. I just don’t know when he’s going to find work... But we’ve always made each other laugh and shared in the same interests. He gets along very well with my family and friends –and same with me and his friends/family. He’s been my closest friend for so long, and one person I’ve always been able to count on, no matter what. He loves me for who I am, despite the flaws I know I have. And I do care about him deeply. I know I love him, but I don't know how deeply I love him anymore. He means a lot to me, but at the same time, I just don't know if he's right for me anymore. My boyfriend was already depressed since he was out of work, but lately he's also been struggling with his feelings towards his biological parents (he's adopted, and he recently met his bio family and found out some unsavoury things about them). It's caused him to question himself, and whether or not he wants kids (a red flag for me since I want kids one day down the road). I’ve been trying to encourage him to break out of it in various ways. We’ve even discussed getting him help (but financially that is difficult). He’s always been an introvert, and until a several years ago I was too. However, I got tired of being left behind by friends and decided to try and become more outgoing and more confident socially. I know I’ve changed since we started dating all those years ago. I’ve had so many people comment on how I’ve changed. But he hasn’t. He acknowledges his shyness, but at this point, it would be a long road before he ever came to a point where he’d become more extroverted. And I'm starting to feel like I'd like to know what it'd be like to be with someone a little more outgoing. Now – throughout our relationship I have had crushes. But nothing that was ever more than a fleeting physical attraction or curiosity. Generally, I’ve had them and then they’ve disappeared. At the end of the day, I could never picture myself with anyone other than my boyfriend. None of the crushes would be compatible with me or would be people I would be able to have any sort of long term relationship with for various reasons. He went through a GIGS-type situation about four years ago at a time when a lot of our friends were going through GIGS-like breakups. We talked about it, and in time he got over his feelings of doubt. He never had a crush on someone else; he just went through a period of wondering whether there was someone else out there for both of us since we got together so young. Now, I’m experiencing what many of you will argue is GIGS. I found out through a co-worker that someone who works at my company finds me attractive. It started with initial curiosity about who he even was (I work for a large company, we’re spread out over a large office tower, so I was just curious to see if it was someone I interacted with everyday or just some random person.) When he was pointed out to me I didn’t think much of it. But then I did what most people do these days, and looked him up on Facebook & Twitter. And from there the attraction has grown. He’s very attractive and I am very attracted to him (and I will admit, I’m attracted to him like I’ve never been attracted to my boyfriend, physically. Or at least, haven’t experienced with my boyfriend in a long time). From what I can gather from FB & Twitter we do have things in common – but things that are different than what I currently have in common with my boyfriend. My mind is often full of curiosity about what he’s like, what else he’s interested in, and what else we could have in common. But let me stress – I have never had a conversation with this work crush and have never told ANYONE how I feel. I have no idea if this guy knows that I know of his attraction to me. But I find myself looking for him when I’m down on his floor for meetings, and I find myself hoping to see him. I can’t shake the feeling that this guy is different than my boyfriend, and different in ways that I want to experience. But at the same time, I don’t even know if I would actually pursue him if I were single because I’m not sure how I feel about an interoffice romance (even if we work in totally different areas and don’t interact professionally). Now, I’ve read the GIGS thread and I do not want to go out partying and get drunk and sleep with any guy I want. But I do feel that sense of wanting some time to myself to figure out what I want in life, and that freedom to date people. And I know the grass may not be greener… The flip side of course is I’m terrified this guy I has a crush on is actually a jerk or THAT GUY whose only after sex and nothing more. Or the type of guy that just wants to get drunk on weekends and do nothing but drink and party. I don’t want that. Sure I like to have a good time, but not every weekend like that. Smoking is a deal breaker and I couldn’t even tell you if this guy smokes! I also have no idea if he is currently dating anyone, or what his situation is with any exes. I know nothing about this guy, really… And my boyfriend is a good guy. That's the hardest part about trying to figure out why I feel this way. The things I’m struggling most with are all related to fear in essence. I’m afraid I’ll make the wrong decision by leaving him, or I’m afraid I’ll ruin his life. We’ve talked about these issues over the past few months - I blurted out all of these feelings and thought it was all over. I was tired of working so much, and tired of trying to motivate him. I was tired of thinking he’d never propose or that we’d never have kids. I was just feeling trapped by my life and feeling like I can’t have any fun. He’s trying to find work, he’s trying to help out more around the house, he admitted he already thought seriously about a proposal but wanted to wait until he had a real job, but he can’t answer about the kids. I thought when he finally admitted the proposal that I’d feel better about things. I thought once he was a bit more motivated around the house I’d feel better. The job thing is still on hold, but I don’t know if money will make it all better. And I don’t know what my answer would be if he proposed. I’m afraid I’ll end up alone, or I’ll end up regretting the decision. The other side is I feel horribly guilty thinking I could be happy without him. I never used to think that way – but this crush has me for the first time believing someone else could make me happy, or happier. I’m also afraid no guy will want me since who wants to date a girl who just got out of a 10 year relationship and has only had sex with one person? I’m just at a total crossroads. I’m in my late twenties and am afraid to start my life over… I’m afraid of making a mistake… I just don’t know if this is all a temporary feeling, normal doubts when heading into my “adult” life and having been in such a long relationship, or if it’s never going to go away. I guess I’m just afraid to listen to that little voice that’s telling me I need to move on. How do I give up on eleven years? How do I break his heart? How can I live with myself if I ruin his life and he ends up alone? How can I live with myself if he is supposed to be my partner for life and I throw it away? We’ve built a whole life, and we have so many memories… we’ve been on trips, had holidays, made friends.... I don’t even know what to ask on here, but I’m looking for guidance, feedback, anything to help me clear these emotions out of my head. Thanks for reading. I’m sorry it was such a long post.
wilsonx Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 The expression damned if you do, damned if you dont comes to mind. Just pick one and go with it. 1
TaraMaiden Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 "you always die regretting the things you didn't do, as opposed to regretting the things you did." This feeling will just intensify. If you don't break up now, you will later along the line, because you're discovering a whole new world out there, and seeing past your BF. You're suddenly realising "there must be more to life than this." Normally, I'd advise discussion, counselling communication - but TBH, you've been together and exclusive too long - and you need to stretch your wings and fly a bit - both of you - instead of voluntarily having them clipped. Your youth is a great time to actually have some fun with no ties, commitments or relationship responsibilities - and you should both let your hair down a bit.
pteromom Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I strongly recommend taking a little time for yourself. If you have family out of state you can visit for a week or whatever... you need to be alone and re-normalize. Once you are feeling like YOU (not half of a couple), you'll know whether you miss your boyfriend and want to move forward, or whether you want something different. But this other guy is a complete fantasy, and you know that. The feelings you have for him have nothing at all to do with him or what kind of guy he is. So don't let him factor into your decision at all. The other thing is you really need to have a discussion with your boyfriend about the marriage/kids thing. If he truly never wants kids and you do, may as well end it now so you can go find a guy who has the same goals as you.
Author Maddy1984 Posted May 10, 2012 Author Posted May 10, 2012 I laughed my ass off at you OP. Can I ask why? I'm here for discussion, and you obviously have an opinion about what I've written, otherwise why bother making this statement? Why is it so funny? --- Thanks for the other responses. I don't make decisions easily because I'm always afraid of making the wrong one, and I know that's not the way to go about life. It's just hard to press my boyfriend on the issue of children since he does need to truly get help for himself and we just can't afford it. At the end of the day - we are a good couple. We get along so well, and it's so hard for me to think this way now. I just feel like the chemistry is lost and that I'm just not sure where my life will end up if I stick with him. I don't want to be struggling financially. I watched my parents struggle as my dad lost his job when the industrial jobs started leaving, and I don't want that for myself or my partner. I'm not looking to be rich, I'd just like to be able to afford to go out for a nice meal every now and then. I also don't want to be 35 and still wondering whether I'll pop a kid out. Or whether I'll get to travel to some place that I'd really like to visit...
muzik_lvr Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 It seems as though you may be doing a disservice to your bf if you are unsure of your feelings for him and if you truly love him and want to be with him, romantically. I would suggest to either make the decision to commit to him and to the relationship and put in the work to make it better and thrive, or decide that it is not what you want and let him go and move on. Either way, don't stay stuck in this middle ground of limbo because I think it would be unfair to him, especially if you are daydreaming about another fellow and developing feelings for him on the side, all the while staying in this relationship with your bf and he thinking everything is fine. Perhaps this struck a chord with me because I was in your bf's position in my previous relationship with my ex 1
CarrieT Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 "you always die regretting the things you didn't do, as opposed to regretting the things you did." This feeling will just intensify. If you don't break up now, you will later along the line, because you're discovering a whole new world out there, and seeing past your BF. You're suddenly realising "there must be more to life than this." Normally, I'd advise discussion, counselling communication - but TBH, you've been together and exclusive too long - and you need to stretch your wings and fly a bit - both of you - instead of voluntarily having them clipped. Your youth is a great time to actually have some fun with no ties, commitments or relationship responsibilities - and you should both let your hair down a bit. Tara is a very, very wise woman... OP, I would recommend you read through this several times. I think you are going through your Saturn Return and rethinking your life's directions; whether or not that includes your BF is yet to be seen, but I don't think you have given yourself enough time to explore YOU.
Author Maddy1984 Posted May 25, 2012 Author Posted May 25, 2012 I've been reading this thread over and over since I posted it. I'm terrible at decisions, especially big ones. I second guess everything I do (it's like an OCD-habit). This one is the biggest I've ever had to make. I guess in a way I feel I can't leave because I don't have a good enough reason - there's no abuse, no cheating, etc. However - and I just came to realize this as I typed it, but am I the abuser perhaps? I'm not cheating physically, but yeah this guy at work has been capturing my attention for months now. I've never contacted him, but is wondering what my life would be like with him equal to cheating emotionally? And maybe I've been the neglectful one - maybe I'm the problem in the relationship. I don't want to be a quitter. But I also don't want to be unhappy. In terms of our friendship I really love having that in my life, but the more I think about it the more I realize I just don't think I'm attracted to him anymore. I have little desire to initiate romance. And that's not fair on him, or me. We both deserve to have that spark with someone. I know some things about what I want in life - but you're all right in that I haven't been on my own in my twenties to figure out who I am. I have grown a lot since high school and changed a lot. I think I now want a different type of person to share my life with. And it's like my friend said the other day as I chatted to her about this - "it sounds like you already know your decision, you just don't want to make it". This is just so hard... Thanks for the continued input everyone. I think it's really going to help me make my ultimate decision.
Hereiam007 Posted May 25, 2012 Posted May 25, 2012 I just read the thread. I came out of an on and off relationship for 2 years last week. So, this discussion is fresh in my mind. I am going to advocate you guys stick together. There is too much life experience shared together. Can you make some strong requests to your boyfriend, like can we have a child? can you commit to finding a job? If he makes good faith efforts in doing this. He wants to keep the relationship. That is good you are coming here for advice since we don't know your boyfriend and you. Please involve your boyfriend in your current thought process and just try to establish that communication again, and if you need him to listen to you, ask him and perhaps teach him to listen. Can you also initiate how you would like sex different? I don't think there is ever a good reason to break up, just work it out. But if you have to break up, just say that you want to live a life alone for awhile. and do not say that you are in love with someone else. This will devastate him or that you are leaving him for someone else. He does want to be with you this is why he hasn't left you either. He sounds like he will be there for you through it all, and isn't it this what a we all really want. However, if there are too many red flags, then listen to them. I strongly believe in what parents say. does your mom and dad want you to leave him or stay. Talk to them about it honestly. and ask for their honest opinion. I advocate to stick together and get some new hobbies together, build a vision for you two together. do you have a pet to share? they are great comforters.
Author Maddy1984 Posted June 6, 2012 Author Posted June 6, 2012 I wanted to provide an update. (It's going to be long!!) About a week ago I finally sat down with my boyfriend and started going over all of my feelings - especially my confusion towards the crush I developed and also my frustration with his lack of commitment over issues like kids. I discussed with him my lack of attraction. Basically, I rehashed this thread. We talked, and talked, and while it was so painful to tell him I wanted to leave him in the end I’ve decided to stay and fight. I came to this decision for several reasons – 1) I read a lot of threads here on LS. Lots of different breakup threads, the GIGs threads, I read and read. I noticed a common thread amongst a lot of conflicted dumpers was that they weren’t willing to put in the work to save their relationship and just wanted to chase after greener pastures. As much as I felt I was also ready to cut my ties, I wasn’t comfortable walking away without saying to myself “I did everything I could.” Because the honest truth is I haven’t. There’s a lot I can do to spice up our sex life, to reconnect with him, and there’s more ways we can continue to motivate each other to do better in life. I’m even strongly considering therapy, especially for my sexual issues. 2) He revealed that he’s willing to have children and wants them. This was a huge step forward. He also revealed he’s willing to try activities that I’m passionate about if it means keeping him in his life. In his opinion, it’s better to try something new that he may love than to be alone. I was convinced he was 100% against some of the things I wanted to do in life. 3) As far as the attraction issue, I stumbled upon a great article that pretty much described my feelings. The article was in response to a girl questioning her attraction to her boyfriend. The article weighed both options – staying and leaving. Under staying, the author recommended analyzing if there is ANYTHING you find attractive about your partner. Obviously if you find them repulsive you need to walk. But the article argued that compaitibility is what makes a great long term partnership and that chemistry fades over time. In the long run, it’s your compatibility that keeps you together. My boyfriend and I are very compatible on a number of things (we laugh at the same things, enjoy similar music tastes, we’re compatible on views of travelling, greater family issues, what we look for in friends – he has committed to creating a better home life (over the last month he has made more of an effort around the house, for example), he’s committed to finding work, and he’s committed to us finding a better sex life. So I’ve made my decision, and I’m taking things one day at a time. I’m not going to rush because I have a lot to work on from my own perspective. At the end of day – I felt I was leaving with unfinished business in this relationship. I couldn’t start a new relationship and feel equipped to deal with all the ups and downs they bring because I didn’t resolve problems in this one first. I already felt myself thinking things like: “well what if we tried X in the bedroom, and what if I tried X?” and I got excited at the thought of these things, and when I really started remembering why I find my boyfriend attractive I found it helped awakened some things. And I couldn’t walk away from that. So, we’re going to work on our issues, continue to talk and see what it goes. I know some of you will think I’m nuts for staying in a committed relationship so long, so young, but at the same time, I’m not going to throw away a good thing for nothing. Thanks for reading I’ll go back to lurking and reading now! 3
London Girl 8 Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 I think you definitely need to do some soul searching. Sure things get routine after so many years but have you tried spicing things up? If you aren't feeling the way you felt before maybe you should take some time apart and explain to him how you are feeling. The worst thing you can do it to stay with him because your not sure. It may not be the right decision but do you want to invest a further 11 years to figure it out then?
Author Maddy1984 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Posted July 6, 2012 I wanted to come back and give you all an update, because I still need to vent and seek advice. I still often find myself floating in ambivalence about things. In my last update I mentioned I found this article: I Am Not Physically Attracted to My Boyfriend. Can We Possibly Have a Future Together? | Evan Marc Katz Blog - Dating Coach And I've been thinking about it a lot, and how it relates to my life. I still don't feel all that attracted to my boyfriend anymore. We've tried spicing things up, but it still isn't "there" for me. I know I am attracted to other guys. Yes, I still struggle with my crush but I am trying to put that out of my mind - it's just tough because when I see him it all goes out the window. So my dilemma feels like this... The article above says there's two roads 1) you dump the person because sex is too important 2) you understand that over time attraction can fade and things level off. If you've found a mate that's an 8-10 on the compatibility scale that's more important than finding an 8-10 on the sexual scale who don't make for a compatible person. So here I am. Back on the fence. Back to feeling confused and scared. Tara's post above is really hitting home right now, and this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/331715-how-do-you-deal-temptation thread really speaks to me as well. At the end of the day this is what I feel like it boils down to for me... That I'm scared to stay because I'm scared I'm missing out on something better. I'm scared to leave because I won't find something better, or if I do I'll continue to have a wandering eye and never feel satisfied (like so many people on LS have experienced). Sorry for the rambling... It's just been a bad week.
wilsonx Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 I didnt post this earlier but Nature is going to take its course. The second the thread was posted, the relationship was over. Youre just kicking tires. Good Luck
Ruby65 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Wow, does your post ever hit home with me! Ten years into my marriage, I developed a profound crush/attraction to another man that I was forced to spend a lot of one-on-one time with due to our professional relationship. I realized I was falling in love so I decided that before I could pursue this, I had to leave my marriage. I asked my H for a divorce, and my H begged me to stay and promised we could work through our problems, including his reluctance to have kids and our non-existent sex life. After a great deal of soul-searching, I decided to do the honorable thing and stay and work on my marriage. I won't say I regret it because a few years later I had my son, so that's all good! But yeah..... the marriage was awful, our sex life was dead, we ended up getting divorced anyway 8 years later, it was all horrible and although I wouldn't trade my son for anything in the world, I really regret not leaving my stupid emotionally abusive ex-H for someone who was amazing and brilliant and who's work I admire to this day (sucks for me hahahaaaa!) I'm just saying... I chose to stay in the marriage out a sense of loyalty, because at that point I was starting to gain recognition in my career and I didn't want to be the kind of person that walks out on their marriage as soon as they start to become successful .... I wanted to do what was MORALLY RIGHT.... .... and it was a huge mistake! Take the "SHOULDS" out of it..... don't operate from a place of fear -- fear of staying, fear of leaving..... operate from a place of what you REALLY want for yourself.... follow your HEART. I believe in True Love. I believe when you're with the right person the sex DOESN'T get old, not ever. I just don't see losing attraction for someone you really truly are meant to be with forever. Not that any of these guys you're having crushes on now are necessary The One.... but I think if your current bf WAS The One it wouldn't be such a struggle. Just because you've been with someone 11 years doesn't mean you have to stay with them forever. Just my two cents. Maybe you can benefit from my stupid mistakes hahhaaa!
Manimal Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 I applaud you for sticking around and fighting for a good thing, but you should be with someone whom lights your fires. I realize you are in a relationship and that you care for this man, but it smacks more of a friendship than it does a romance. Compatibility is crucial for a LTR, but what's the point of getting there if the journey is lackluster flatness? Good luck with all this.
rAFC Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 (edited) First of all, I commend you for at least trying to make this relationship work. At the end of the day though, you have to lie in the bed you've made, not any of us, so you need to decide what is best for you. Personally, I think our culture has sold us some unobtainable Hollywood fairytale where everyday is a dream and each night involves sex that was better than the night before, even 20, 30, 40 years after getting together. We expect our partners to read our minds and instinctively know what we want and don't want and when we want it. Unfortunately, real life is no fairytale and the fact that some people actually find someone who treats them well, truly cares about them and is willing to put up with their flaws while working at any issues that come up, only to leave them in search of the fairytale is quite sad. I hope that you ladies find your prince charming, I really do. It would be a shame to look back at the end of your life and realize you gave up on someone good in search of a fairytale that doesn't exist. I'm not saying you should stick it out with an jerk just because you are afraid of the unknown. I'm just saying that every quality relationship takes a lot of work from both sides and if you have someone willing to put in the effort then you are already luckier than most people. Edited July 6, 2012 by rAFC 1
Ruby65 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 First of all, I commend you for at least trying to make this relationship work. At the end of the day though, you have to lie in the bed you've made, not any of us, so you need to decide what is best for you. Personally, I think our culture has sold us some unobtainable Hollywood fairytale where everyday is a dream and each night involves sex that was better than the night before, even 20, 30, 40 years after getting together. We expect our partners to read our minds and instinctively know what we want and don't want and when we want it. Unfortunately, real life is no fairytale and the fact that some people actually find someone who treats them well, truly cares about them and is willing to put up with their flaws while working at any issues that come up, only to leave them in search of the fairytale is quite sad. I hope that you ladies find your prince charming, I really do. It would be a shame to look back at the end of your life and realize you gave up on someone good in search of a fairytale that doesn't exist. I'm not saying you should stick it out with an jerk just because you are afraid of the unknown. I'm just saying that every quality relationship takes a lot of work from both sides and if you have someone willing to put in the effort then you are already luckier than most people. I write for Hollywood and will defend to the death the ideal of True Love !! This isn't about finding a "prince charming"..... it's about whether or not to sign over the remainder of your life to someone when the attraction's already dead 11 years in. I vote no. Don't let people like this guilt trip you into anything.... it's not about expecting too much -- it's about settling for too little!!
rAFC Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 I write for Hollywood and will defend to the death the ideal of True Love !! This isn't about finding a "prince charming"..... it's about whether or not to sign over the remainder of your life to someone when the attraction's already dead 11 years in. I vote no. Don't let people like this guilt trip you into anything.... it's not about expecting too much -- it's about settling for too little!! That first sentence explains a LOT, haha... I'm not suggesting you settle for too little, besides, as I pointed out, it's your life and you need to live it how you see fit. It isn't fair to the guy either if you are secretly wishing he was someone he is not and could never be. Attraction is a two way street though and if the passion is dieing I'd bet you are at least partially responsible as well. If you've put in the work and it still isn't happening then fine, let it go, but if you've just expected it to simply happen and flourish without any nurturing you're in for a big surprise. From personal experience, I had an ex who would get home from work, complain about her day and everything that she was miserable about, then expect me to romance her and sweep her off of her feet. Even if I was ready to do this all day, hearing her complain for an hour totally killed the mood for me. I'm not saying this is you, I'm just saying that you need to give the spark to one another and not expect it to just be there. It sounds like a lot of the op's relationship problems stem from the fact that her boyfriend is out of work, this is a major turnoff for most women. I'm fairly sure his lack of ambition is the root of these issues you are facing and if he were to turn that around I bet you'd find yourself happy with him again and he would be a lot happier with himself as well.
Ruby65 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 That first sentence explains a LOT, haha... Go ahead and explain to me why my career as a screenwriter makes my opinions laughable. I'm curious, because I'm intelligent, insightful and very well paid.
rAFC Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Go ahead and explain to me why my career as a screenwriter makes my opinions laughable. I'm curious, because I'm intelligent, insightful and very well paid. I think we might be hijacking the ops thread here but relax, I'm just teasing you. Sounds like an awesome job. I'm not saying your opinions are laughable, or that you lack intelligence, I'm just saying it is makes a lot of sense to me that the person pushing the Hollywood version of "True Love" is in fact a screenwriter for Hollywood.
Ruby65 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 There's a huge difference between settling for a sexless, passionless relationship and the "Hollywood ideal".... How many years have YOU spent in a sexless relationship? To say girls who aren't willing to settle for this are just looking for some Prince Charming or some unattainable Hollywood ideal is just silly and disrespectful to those of us who HAVE tried to work things out for as long as we did -- I give the OP a HUGE amount of credit for sticking it out for 11 years!! I threw away nearly a decade on a dead marriage to do the "right thing".... it's insulting to imply this decision is being made lightly by anyone on this thread.
wilsonx Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Ruby, in order to find true love, you have to find it in yourself. Its something I saw on your post on the first page of this thread. Until you find true love for yourself, then you will never find it in another person. I do believe you are on the path to finding it, try not to paint everything black in the process
rAFC Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Ruby65, I'm not here to argue with you, I simply provide my perspective. If you don't like it, you are free to ignore it. To the op, I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do.
Ruby65 Posted July 6, 2012 Posted July 6, 2012 Ruby, in order to find true love, you have to find it in yourself. Its something I saw on your post on the first page of this thread. Until you find true love for yourself, then you will never find it in another person. I do believe you are on the path to finding it, try not to paint everything black in the process Honestly.... I'm right now in the most amazing relationship of my life! I had a crappy marriage.... and a few bad relationships along the way........ but I'm ONLY seeing the positives right now! I've found the One, finally! What about YOU, WilsonX?
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