cantforget Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 Well I only a few weeks ago posted here to brag to everyone that I had met someone new and how great it was. Well its over already. When we met he told me he had recently broken up with his ex and they owned a house together, still lived together, but the realtionship was completely over. Maybe I should have walked away there and then, I told him I really liked him and was looking for something serious and did not want to be a rebound fling and he said he really liked me too and wanted a long term relationship but just wanted to take it slow, fine by me. He pusued me strongly, flowers, presents etc, he even said he was falling in love with me. He decided after a couple of weeks to tell his ex and to try to work out the house and living arrangements cause he said I deserved that respect. Good you're thinking, no not really, she got all upset etc and now he says he is going to stay with her cause he knows she wont handle the pain of him moving on and that I wont hurt as much, but he says deep in his heart he loves me more. He has been with her for 9 years since she was 15 and he has always taken care of her and now that its come to the crunch he cant walk away. I think he likes to feel needed, she feeds his ego, where as I am independant and have always taken care of myself. My previous ex to this went back to his needy wife with self esteme issues as well. Do any men out there like strong women? What should I do about this guy, he keeps messaging me to say he misses me. How can I make him see that he is staying with her for all the wrong reasons.
honey2005 Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 Well you're right about the fact that he's staying with her for all the wrong reasons. You need someone who can respect you, and he doesn't quite show that "deep in his heart he loves you more", because if he did, he would be with you right now, not her. You sound like a really nice woman, and you need a guy who is willing to give up anything for you, not cling on to some girl that helps build his ego. You need to think about your feelings in this, do you really want to sit around and wait on some guy who is staying with a girl he supposedly doesn't love anymore, just to keep her from hurting. And the fact that it "hurts you less", shouldn't matter. The only thing that matters should be if it hurts you AT ALL.
Author cantforget Posted June 23, 2004 Author Posted June 23, 2004 He just emailed me to say that the reason why he went back to his ex is cause he knows she will always love him and will never leave him and he said that he will learn to love her again the way he used to. He says I taught him how to love again, he used me to get her back more like it. Obviously he has issues and now he has screwed with my head as well. I told him that you dont learn to love a person, you either feel it or you dont. I know I need to find someone who will respect me but I am starting to feel there isnt anyone out there that will do that. I am a single mother so it is so hard to meet anyone at all, let alone anyone who is worthwhile. I seem to get taken advantage of time after time.
beautiful Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 you had a rebound relationship with him, that never works out! Now learn from this and move on with your life. There is nothing wrong with you other then that you ignored all the signs yet you still wanted him. Find out what is going on within yourself and fix that so that you can have a healthy relationship some day. Good luck!
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