irc333 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 OKay, I just got back from reading a post where a woman would manage to just "Rustle" up a date out of no where. Basically for places where dates are expected...ie. a wedding, occupational formal evening gathering, etc. Usually to make it appear that you don't have anyone in your life. Me, I could NEVER just "rustle up" a date. How about you? (not outing anyone here that posted about just, but it just made me think how some women could just SNAP their fingers and have a man at their disposal even as an escort to a ball) I could be WAY off though.
oaks Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Me, I could NEVER just "rustle up" a date. How about you? I'm not currently dating anyone, so I can see three scenarios... Asking a stranger on a date: Probably wouldn't work for me at short notice, and going to a formal event on a first/second date seems a bit much (to me).Asking a friend to pretend to be my date, or at least to be my 'plus one', with no expectations of date-like behaviour beyond the usual friendly stuff: Yes, I could probably find a willing friend who wants to dress up and sit next to me eating good food. I'm sure she'll look great!Asking a friend to be my date, with actual romantic intent: I don't think I have any orbiting friends who want to date me and since they are my friends I don't want to date them anyway. So, I could probably find someone to go with me... but wouldn't that be awkward if I see someone there who I like?
EasyHeart Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I mentioned in another thread that many (most?) women don't like to go out in public by themselves, especially to things like weddings and work functions. I don't pretend to understand it, I've just observed it so often that I can't ignore it. I have no problem going anywhere by myself, and in fact, for things like weddings and work functions I much prefer it, so I'd never try to rustle up a date. But I'm more than happy to help out a woman who needs a "date" for some event in order to feel comfortable. I've done it dozens and dozens of times. They aren't "dates"; I think of it more as an escort (which I use in the traditional sense, not the sexual one). They get a respectable escort and I get a free dinner or party or whatever (This is definitely a "she-asks-she-pays" situation). And at things like weddings, it a GREAT way to meet women! (or make business contacts). I think that the skill of escorting women is something of a lost art and one of the things we really fail to teach young men nowadays. Women generally appreciate men who aren't constantly trying to bed them down or who think that any woman who talks to them wants to **** them. It's part of that whole treating-women-like-people thingy.
Author irc333 Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 Yeah, I think the only way I got asked out (and me not asking her out...was she was attending a weddding and didnt want to go stag) I mentioned in another thread that many (most?) women don't like to go out in public by themselves, especially to things like weddings and work functions. I don't pretend to understand it, I've just observed it so often that I can't ignore it. I have no problem going anywhere by myself, and in fact, for things like weddings and work functions I much prefer it, so I'd never try to rustle up a date. But I'm more than happy to help out a woman who needs a "date" for some event in order to feel comfortable. I've done it dozens and dozens of times. They aren't "dates"; I think of it more as an escort (which I use in the traditional sense, not the sexual one). They get a respectable escort and I get a free dinner or party or whatever (This is definitely a "she-asks-she-pays" situation). And at things like weddings, it a GREAT way to meet women! (or make business contacts). I think that the skill of escorting women is something of a lost art and one of the things we really fail to teach young men nowadays. Women generally appreciate men who aren't constantly trying to bed them down or who think that any woman who talks to them wants to **** them. It's part of that whole treating-women-like-people thingy.
insertnamehere Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 One point about how women complain about men . . . When a woman says anything in the generic about men, such as "All men are jerks", what she really means is "All men I am attracted to are jerks." If she says "Men never talk to me" what she really means "Men I am attracted to never talk to me". Now, let's take this knowledge and extend it to the thread poster you're complaining about. What is she saying? "Men I am attracted to have lots of options." Remember, when women genericize about men, they don't actually mean every man. They're talking about the subset of men in their sexual Venn diagram who they find attractive. Because the other circle of men might as well not exist.
thatone Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 i could in a few different cities. because there are single females there that i know from the past (whether we had a couple dates/fling or not). locally, hit or miss, maybe yeah maybe no. i think this is a lifestyle symptom more than anything else though. when i'm single i'll travel alone, and wind up meeting friends in other places. i don't make a habit of remaining friends with women that i dated locally that didn't work out.
Emilia Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Can't imagine anything worse than grabbing some guy so that I don't look single. Bizarre 1
iris219 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 “Rustling up a date” simply refers to asking a friend to accompany you somewhere. It’s not even a date. It’s hanging out with a friend so that you aren’t the only single person at an event where everyone is a couple. Both men and women do this. I actually tried to bring female friend with me to a wedding last year and the bride said no. Then I told her I would just come alone and she got annoyed and told me I needed to bring a date. There's a lot of pressure to not be alone at some events.
Emilia Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 “Rustling up a date” simply refers to asking a friend to accompany you somewhere. It’s not even a date. It’s hanging out with a friend so that you aren’t the only single person at an event where everyone is a couple. Both men and women do this. I actually tried to bring female friend with me to a wedding last year and the bride said no. Then I told her I would just come alone and she got annoyed and told me I needed to bring a date. There's a lot of pressure to not be alone at some events. I've never been in this situation, can't imagine being friends with someone who is this controlling. I think the trouble with taking a pretend date is that if you meet a really cool guy he will think you are taken. I like going to places on my own when I'm single, it's much easier to meet men - or just to make friends with new people. Also it's kinda sad to have someone with you just to keep up appearances. I understand that it's a requirement by certain types and not always your choice but still sad
thatone Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 i was gonna say the same thing, especially since the single friends of the groom will readily go to a wedding alone and see it as prime grounds for meeting single women.
Recommended Posts