Boynextdoor Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Me and my ex gf left each other 3 weeks ago. I must admit the first week was devastating. We had this small arguement that resulted into a big one.Lets say that I easily decide with things just to cut the situation. Since I dont want to end up blasting each other with words that we dont mean. Now it happend the blasting of words here and there since we were both hounding each other. Here comes the nagging and easily giving in. Days have past i've tried all of the win her back express style :giving flowers, trying to win her with words, explaining where im coming from and what Im going through. So of course I failed. The last thing that a man should do is cry in front of her. I was helpless I felt like I gave her everything that I have as a man and didnt ask anything for return but one. TO UNDERSTAND ME. She's so caught up with her nursing reviews, family thats been hounding her, the pressure of taking the boards exam. So we've mutually decided to focus on our duties and responsibilities and deal with our issue next time. It was a great talk. Then all of a sudden days after she decides to delete our pictures together in fb. Well it was so childish of me to react I admit. So when it came to my senses I just decided to disable my account. So that I can focus with what I must do. Now I was about to give her the ultimatium days back so I had this feeling of checking her profile via fb. or think of things that will annoy me about her that will push me in doing it. You know what i've found she disabled her account as well. So I got confused it was like she deleted our memories together,changed her email, changed her password as if like she did her assignment in moving on without me. I understand that what I got confused is that in the end she decided to disable her account. Which gave me the notion that she went to my profile tried to check it out and found out that im no longer a part of the social media. Few days have past she texted me out of nowhere. Telling me all about our issue that we had that she could not really take why in the world did I decide to give in. Well, I told her that 1. we were both vulnerable that time 2. we were both having our tough times in life. her with her nursing review in preparation for the board exams. and I that I resigned from work for growth reasons and was able to negotiate with the co and still in the point of trying to decide to stay or to move on a different career. Let me give you a brief background of what we've fought about. Now, I was about to share her what happend with my present co. since it was something positive but still dont know if its right to stay. I was trying to consult with her and there she was trying to say a different thing which sounds personal which seems to be not about us. So I kept on pushing her to tell me and say it loud since I cant barely hear her. Now it came to my senses that it was private so I stoped. Now told her to call it a day. So that by the next day we will be fine or a lil later when we talk again. Now I know she is stumbled with her struggles and reviews this proves to show that we are both vulnerable during that time. So we hit on each other back and forth til we have said something we dont really mean. Now, back to reality she texted me last night about our status that its not gona happen no more that we are bound to path our ways. Now I did not stop her no more since I got tired of arguing since if I wouldnt agree with her we will end up blasting ourselves again. So I decided to just support her decision and give here 2 answers in each points that she's talking about. That I understand where she is coming from that I was sorry for what happend to us. Told her that I wish that she could see me as some1 that she loved and not someone she'd grown to hate. That I support her with her decisions that I know she will get her acts right if I leave her be and as soon as good things happens to her. That is when she passes the nursing board exam wherein everything else will follow. from her family giving her all the credit and not pressure. Told her as well that while she is doing it she will be able to find her worth also. Basically, I have no more drama craps to feel during my reply since I wanted to attract positive energy and every positive. Her nature has always been a negative thinker its not that Im blasting her here. Its just that thats how she works. She felt I abandoned her in which I was preoccupied also. I told her that I will never be mad at her nor feel anything negative about her decision because I know in the end she will be fine once she gets a hold of her achievements. Most of you will as me what is my point? After all that has happend I still believe that I'd have another shot with her. She's an amazing woman in which I feel that she is someone that I could be with for the rest of my existence. Eventhough she pushes me away Im just gearing myself with the right perspective,right plan to win her back. Shutting her down from all forms of communication is one of the ways for her to find out and miss me. Well, Im not saying that I am certain about this one. Its just that you've known the person for a while I've served as her support system and she even told me that "I WAS HER LIFE" so I still believe in faith that love will find its way back. Next, Im not trapping myself for one woman because none of us can predict the future. I just dont get her solution of poisoning herself more and more by taking her pride and just be alone wherein she is really in deep ****. I admire her alot which makes me love her more. But this is not the right time for me to attempt to do so since im still in the phase of getting my guts back or my way of being a lion again. 2 months from now is the end of her exam meaning more alone time or more fun time with her. So that means going out meeting new pips and all that. I am fully aware of that and will not even act like a **** like oh no! what? no! she's with someone. Im training myself now not to give in so that when that day comes il just yield to it. 2 months more which make it 4 months of pathing our ways is the results of the board exam. I am pretty sure that she will get it with all the focus and strive that she commits in achieving it. I told her that if she is trying to prove something to me. She must stop. Because I loved her the way she is and I love the way I am when I am around her. Sounds like a good story? Well if you see someones worth you wont give up. But then now I hafta wait for the perfect timing to penetrate her shield once again. Waiting for the right time when all of her guards are done from me and from everything. So now I gotta focus on talking with other women but not to the extent of giving her the notion of making her jealous or what not. Actually its a bit hard from my part since her mom has been pushing me to keep it up and never give up on her daughter. She advised me not to contact them since I have nothing else to do to make her change her decision. I told her only time can tell what is the real deal for us. No matter how hard we stop,no matter how hard we try to forget each other, eventhough we choose different paths to take. Faith will bring us back. Well as to me of course each and everyone of us wants a happy ending. So as she. I gave her all that she needs to make it easier for her to focus with everything. here are here exact words " I gave up of myself." Now a while earlier she texted me again "I dont hate you. I just cant be with you. Im sorry" Those are strong words yes but basically its still with the person as to how we should deal with it. Im moving on now by embracing postivity. Now 4 months from now Il show myself to her and find out if there is still something / magic that will bring us back together. For now stick with the NC rule and see where the cards go.
january2011 Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 From her point of view, you abandoned her when she needed you the most. That's pretty difficult to forgive. Imagine if it weren't exams and she was grieving for a parent, going through childbirth, etc. Can she count on you? I suspect that in her mind, she doesn't think she can. And that's enough of a dealbreaker to end a relationship. I think that you need to respect her wishes to get on with her life and focus on yourself, continue with NC to get a clear perspective and accept that you're not right for each other.
Author Boynextdoor Posted May 10, 2012 Author Posted May 10, 2012 From her point of view, you abandoned her when she needed you the most. That's pretty difficult to forgive. Imagine if it weren't exams and she was grieving for a parent, going through childbirth, etc. Can she count on you? I suspect that in her mind, she doesn't think she can. And that's enough of a dealbreaker to end a relationship. I think that you need to respect her wishes to get on with her life and focus on yourself, continue with NC to get a clear perspective and accept that you're not right for each other. It looks like it is a deal breaker. But whats odd is that I was going through a tough time as well and felt the same way over her. I did not tell her what i've been going through because I dont want to add up to her pressure. and also as a man I cannot show my weakness to her since I stand and stood as her support system. But I have no intentions to put into her I just tried to take the advantage of us being both busy with our endeavors. Since we havent seen each other in a while and both tied up with our responsiblities and priorities. With NC yes I will continue. Not to change for her but for myself also. Time will come that she will realize also the idea of losing me and vise versa. There maybe we can way the options as to we can live without each others co. or maybe reconcile.
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