mtber75 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Well this relates to my previous post on wanting to know this tomboyish girl. I met her again at this meeting and she seem pretty cold and didn't want to talk to me much...Ok so she's not interested i get it. But she was very chatty with everyone else...She seem to be giving me the cold shoulders. I emailed her a "great to see you again" friendy email and sent a friend request. But not only did she not reply to my email but also DECLINED my request...WTF! I never gave the impression that I even liked her! I was keeping it very low key and wanted to know her first because we hang out with the same group of friends. Why would this woman be so cold towards me without even getting to know me? I genuinely want to get to know her as a friend if not romantically. Did she pick up some creepy vibe from me? Again she's very friendly towards all her friends (she's active on FB and regulary communicate this way). I don't get this girl? Should I just move on or try to be friendly because I will probably run into her again?
CC12 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Maybe she didn't like something about your personality. Maybe she has a boyfriend or is interested in someone else. Maybe she picked up on the fact that you're attracted to her. You said you never gave her the impression that you liked her, but an email saying, "great to see you again" does suggest interest on your part. Maybe she just didn't want to lead you on by responding at all. There could be a lot of reasons. It really doesn't matter, though. She's made it clear she's not interested, so move on. Be cordial when you see her, but don't try to be her buddy.
gibson Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 (edited) Ok so she's not interested i get it. But she was very chatty with everyone else... You just said she isn't interested in you and because of that she isn't suppose to talk to other people? She seem to be giving me the cold shoulders. I emailed her a "great to see you again" friendy email and sent a friend request. Why would you send someone who was ignoring you and you think giving you the cold shoulder a friendly email and a friend request? But not only did she not reply to my email but also DECLINED my request...WTF! What did you expect? She made it crystal clear that she doesn't like you. I never gave the impression that I even liked her! What impression did she give you? Why would this woman be so cold towards me without even getting to know me? Who cares! She doesn't want to know you or she would have responded to your email and your friend request. I genuinely want to get to know her as a friend if not romantically. That isn't an option. What is so special about this girl that you have to be her friend? Did she pick up some creepy vibe from me? Who knows and who cares. Again she's very friendly towards all her friends (she's active on FB and regulary communicate this way). Seriously? She likes them and they are her friends. I don't get this girl? Since you cannot connect the dots, I will do it for you and I will even color it in. SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU AND DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU. Should I just move on or try to be friendly because I will probably run into her again? Move on and I wouldn't go out of my way to be friendly. Edited May 9, 2012 by gibson 1
mortensorchid Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 This gal had this problem before you ever came into the picture, it's not you. If she is being so rude to you she is being rude to everyone. Move on. 3
smith9800 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 (edited) Your personality. May be, she didn't like your personality. Make her feel that you have feelings for her and want to be with her... Edited May 9, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
FrustratedStandards Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 5 letters. B*TCH! I can't believe you are even considering giving a person like that a chance! Umm... hello! This is why all the sweeties get left behind! 2
somedude81 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Reminds me of a girl at work. 75% of the time she is cold to me and I've done nothing to her at all. She is friendly and chatty with everybody else except me. She's also the only girl who is like. I just don't get it.
dasein Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Want to offer a different take. OP is it possible there is a knife in your back? If it's possible, who put it there, and who has this girl's ear? If you are perceived as competition for whatever, there are always people out there who will take the low road. Sometimes you have to play Machiavelli and figure out who your opposition is and how they are expressing that opposition, in a straightforward way? subtly? totally beneath the radar? Consider that.
LittlePrince Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Bad behavior in women is condoned by society. Women are no longer raised to be ladies. They are allowed for the most part to raise themselves which leads to a lot of negatives like all of the cat fighting amongst women and treating SO or dates poorly because they think they are entitled to act this way. 1
LittlePrince Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 About your problem ignore her but remain cordial if she greets you. This could later make her hot for you because indifference is an aphrodisiac to women but don't let it go any further than friendly greetings and insignificant small talk about the weather. She already burned this bridge so you shouldn't try to build her another in the future because all of a sudden now she wants to cross. You'll be tempted to give into her if she starts showing you favor but ignore it. She is just another little girl playing games. Nothing good can come of being with her. 1
persevere Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 You should pretend you never met her and move on. Spend your efforts going after real women. Not man hating psychos. 4
irin Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 people dont owe you anything. especially if she doesnt know you, shes not being rude or a bitch she doesnt have to friendly everyone, all the time, you are stranger to her thats why she probably didnt accept your request, and didnt reply, dont get offended. 3
CC12 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 5 letters. B*TCH! What should she have done differently? FS? You must have missed my question when you were passing out "Likes" in this thread. Could you answer please?
Emilia Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Well this relates to my previous post on wanting to know this tomboyish girl. I met her again at this meeting and she seem pretty cold and didn't want to talk to me much...Ok so she's not interested i get it. But she was very chatty with everyone else...She seem to be giving me the cold shoulders. I emailed her a "great to see you again" friendy email and sent a friend request. But not only did she not reply to my email but also DECLINED my request...WTF! I never gave the impression that I even liked her! I was keeping it very low key and wanted to know her first because we hang out with the same group of friends. Why would this woman be so cold towards me without even getting to know me? I genuinely want to get to know her as a friend if not romantically. Did she pick up some creepy vibe from me? Again she's very friendly towards all her friends (she's active on FB and regulary communicate this way). I don't get this girl? Should I just move on or try to be friendly because I will probably run into her again? She knows you want to get to know her and she doesn't know how to tell you to get lost as you are in the same circle of friends. She was trying to discourage you. What does she owe you exactly? Why would you contact someone on facebook and send a friend request when she doesn't want to even talk to you? Don't know what vibe you gave off but she probably picked up on the kind of interest that she finds uncomfortable.
Shaun-Dro Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Well this relates to my previous post on wanting to know this tomboyish girl. I met her again at this meeting and she seem pretty cold and didn't want to talk to me much...Ok so she's not interested i get it. But she was very chatty with everyone else...She seem to be giving me the cold shoulders. I emailed her a "great to see you again" friendy email and sent a friend request. But not only did she not reply to my email but also DECLINED my request...WTF! I never gave the impression that I even liked her! I was keeping it very low key and wanted to know her first because we hang out with the same group of friends. Why would this woman be so cold towards me without even getting to know me? I genuinely want to get to know her as a friend if not romantically. Did she pick up some creepy vibe from me? Again she's very friendly towards all her friends (she's active on FB and regulary communicate this way). I don't get this girl? Should I just move on or try to be friendly because I will probably run into her again? Forget the bitch. She's immature if she took upon herself to act this way. You're better than that. Just find better people to associate with for next time.
irc333 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 It's happened to me before....people I know through social circles, they are on my friends list....then I meet them out at parties or social gatherings, and meet a new lady chat with her at the event for a bit....then after getting to know her some, try to add her, only to get turned away of the request. It's been known to happen, so screw 'em. Friend of mine told me, women are funny about the FB friends request thing anyhow, and that FB , to some people...is a pretty intimate thing with them, that they have to know you REAL wall before they consider adding you....not just on an acquaintence level basis. I know this one guy in our group, creeps and freaks out a lot of women, "he has a history in the group", but I see has a lot of the attractive women he's met on his Friends list....there are other dudes that are aware of him...and I'm wondering why they're accepting his requests....and he was saying they probably accept it, because they're afraid he might go postal if they don't. LOL She knows you want to get to know her and she doesn't know how to tell you to get lost as you are in the same circle of friends. She was trying to discourage you. What does she owe you exactly? Why would you contact someone on facebook and send a friend request when she doesn't want to even talk to you? Don't know what vibe you gave off but she probably picked up on the kind of interest that she finds uncomfortable.
Emilia Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Friend of mine told me, women are funny about the FB friends request thing anyhow, and that FB , to some people...is a pretty intimate thing with them, that they have to know you REAL wall before they consider adding you....not just on an acquaintence level basis. It's a big deal to me too. I add the men I want to add, they don't need to approach me with the request. There was a time when a guy would keep sending me requests and messages, I had to ban him. I've never even met him but he still wouldn't take no. Some men are weird. I know this one guy in our group, creeps and freaks out a lot of women, "he has a history in the group", but I see has a lot of the attractive women he's met on his Friends list....there are other dudes that are aware of him...and I'm wondering why they're accepting his requests....and he was saying they probably accept it, because they're afraid he might go postal if they don't. LOL They are stupid then.
Author mtber75 Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 When I said I gave NO impression I mean it...Like I would talk to her about her riding (she is a cyclist like me and its a cycling club), the weather and other trivial stuff. I never clamor to talk to her out of the crowd or followed her around. I'm a successful business owner, best shape of my life (mid thirties) and have a healthy social life so i am not some creepy introvert. I went out with her and her guy friends, she was very chatty with them and even asked one for his friend request (if she likes guys w lots of kids that's cool)? I always send friendly messages alone with my friend requests (men and women) and they always accept. Isn't this a common courtesy. This is the first time someone actually declined my request...that's why I'm a little bothered. I have another female friend from the same group and she sent me a friend request before I got a chance to send one to her and we chat about foods mostly so if this tomboyish girl thinks I'm some kind of a creep who wants to invade her privacy that's ridiculous! Anywhoo, I'm not lossing sleep over this. But I'm just curious how girls pick and chose their friends.
Emilia Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Anywhoo, I'm not lossing sleep over this. But I'm just curious how girls pick and chose their friends. Comments like that do make me wonder just how much you socialise. You do realise that we are human beings too, not another species, right? There isn't a fixed way we choose our friends, it's down to the individual. Maybe she didn't feel she made a connection with you and perhaps she is quite private. The way you write, you give the impression that you relate to her like a stranger so it doesn't look like she would have had a reason to accept your friend request.
InJest Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Why are you in your mid 30s, stressing out over why some girl that you don't know declined a facebook request. You were overeager, she could tell you were interested romantically, and she was put off by it. What does it matter if a guy has kids? Maybe he has something more interesting to talk about than "the weather and other trivial stuff." Your jealousy is amusing. Since you're such a successful businessman, try using money to get girls. Definitely your best shot, since you're so naive.
Mrlonelyone Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I have two kinds of advice for the OP. 1.)Forget her act like she is invisible to you. 2.)You know this person in real life. FB is irrelevant compared to that. So work on your social networking in that group and subculture in real life. FB will come along afterwards as to many it's just a place to display social status by having a friends list with many high status friends. 3.)Try to make yourself a good friend of everyother person in the circle. Win social status within the circle. Then you can pick the best woman you can get within the circle. May or may not be this tomboyish woman. In fact if you become if not the top male one of the top two or three leaders of the "tribe"... you may not find that woman so desirable. At that point she may not compliment your social status. A simple truth is that 1/3 of the reason a couple stays together has to do with matching social status (Which can come from creativity, appearance, knowledge and experience, and of course money). People who study such things call it "assortative mating". Such is the way of the world.
Author mtber75 Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 Thanks for all the advices! I'm going to bump into her again because of our social circles. But I'm going to be just courteous and leave it at that. Admit it people, FB is a big part of our social lives now. That's cool if your not into this but many people are.
LittlePrince Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I tried it. It was so boring. I deleted my account.
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