smellybelly Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Ladies, gentlemen... we've all heard it before... traditional dating advice.. women shouldn't ask a man out b/c men want to be the hunters and thus aren't interested in the girl who asks them out.... So i ask men.. is there a way a woman can ask you out so the interest remains... or women share a story of a time you asked a man out and the outcome.. or men share a story of a time a woman asked you out and your thoughts/outcome...
Vintage79 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I've had plenty of women ask me out - I always like it/appreciate it, as I frequently don't pick on their cues. How to ask him out: If you know anything about the guy, say you know he likes a certain type of music. Simply tell him that you're going to see this cool band (that fits his genre of music), and that he should join you - this way you also have an opportunity to pitch the band/talk about a shared interest. Obviously, a band is merely an example...it could be anything from type of food, beer/wine tasting, hiking, whatever. Just make sure it's something that you actually like yourself, or worst case tell him that you're trying exploring new experiences, and you're heading off to said activity. Alternatively, you could just be blunt and ask him if he wants to go out. Anyhow, there may something to the "hunter" game. That said, just because you ask him out, it doesn't mean that you can't play hard-ish to get when you're out with him. That way, you essentially coaxed him into the date, and now make him do the chasing (i.e. hunting). This method has worked on me, and some times with great success...
blindesided Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I just recently tried this - the outcome was terrible. I made the first move - we exchanged all kinds of flirty texts - he saying he couldnt wait to see me outside work (we dont work toghether - he works at a place my friends & I frequent) - he liked me a lot, I was beautiful & fun....blah blah...By the time it came to actually meet & go on a date - he fell off the face of the planet. Who knows why - Girlfriend? even though I specifically asked & he said he was single...or I scared him off by being too aggressive?...or his dog ate his phone - lol I am not sure how soon I will be asking a man out again - this was my first time doing it & since it turned out this way - not sure I would venture to try again - even though lots of people on this site say go for it
Pianiste Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I've tried it before and it worked out pretty well. We met at a reunion but only knew his name so I asked him out via a facebook message, since I had no other way of contacting him. I remembered we talked about some Belgian beers at the event and I proposed going to a Belgian beer cafe, knowing he'd like that. Except for the invite we had no other contact before the date and I think that really helped to keep the expectations low. We didn't exchange phone numbers during the date but the day after I received a facebook message in which he asked me out. Turned out to be a really great guy that just had some problems taking the first step. In my opinion if you like somebody you might aswell take the risk, especially if you've got nothing to lose. Just don't overdo the amount of contact you have before your first date. :-)
darkmoon Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 i am hopeless asking men out; i think i look too needy, to anxious to avoid rejection, i know men have to put up with a 'no' but i look too pathetic, inviting kicks in the teeth, really
Leigh 87 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I believe I am an attractive and great girl to some men, therefore I ascertain if the guy is into me. If a guy really thinks I am great and I know he is single and would love to go out with me on a date, I will just ask. I will wait for an appropriate time, such as when we are getting along really well, he seams flirty and into me, and it feels right. Social cues..... I would say something similar to: " so, do u wanna have some fun together, and get closer" I do not speak in terms of " wanna go for a date".. it is not naturally the way I phrase or talk about things. But yeah; if I like a guy I will ask him out. Providing he likes me back. Which is generally easy to tell, as I need them to show a high level of interest, as I do not assume any guy who looks at me and hsi nice to me, LIKES Me.
wwwjd Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I can't think of a wrong way to word it, from the direct ask to just meeting at a common interest thing. That said, if a girl asked me if I wanted to "have some fun" together, I will assume she wants sex and have to turn her down. Many guys won't but I would.
Pierre Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Ladies, gentlemen... we've all heard it before... traditional dating advice.. women shouldn't ask a man out b/c men want to be the hunters and thus aren't interested in the girl who asks them out.... So i ask men.. is there a way a woman can ask you out so the interest remains... or women share a story of a time you asked a man out and the outcome.. or men share a story of a time a woman asked you out and your thoughts/outcome... Only ask a man out if you know he likes you, is shy, and afraid to ask you out. In other words some shy men need a little push. Don't bother to ask out outgoing type player guys. Ask in a casual manner that does not imply you want to sleep with the guy. This will be less of a threat to a shy man. You will hear promiscuous men say that they love it when women ask them out and I suggest you do not pay attention to them. They simply want more easy sex-------------nothing else.
The Humbler Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Don't ask a guy out, it makes you look desperate or slutty. Just be nice, smile, flirt and show interest...if he doesn't take the bait he either isn't interested or he's gay.
GravityMan Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Ask a guy out in a similar manner that most good quality men would ask women out. Many guys would be fine with that. The first reply to your OP gave some good advice. Don't come on too strong...as that will make you seem desperate and easy to many guys and will likely scare them off.
Leigh 87 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 EXCUSE me? My way of asking a guy out, reads more like THIS: " so, do u wanna do sometihng fun sometime?" AND, I would make sure I knew the guy WELL ENOUGH, and be friend with them, to be able to be my usual, open self; I would talk about sex and relationships and personal beliefs, as FRIENDS, before asking them out. The guy would KNOW I was a high quakility girl, who does not sleep around...... Asking a guy " so, do u wanna have some fun together sometime" does nto ALWAYS read " slut". It depends on how well u know the guy, OBVIOUSLY. A random guy on the street or that you had just met at a coffee shop, WOULD think a girl was a sl*t, if they just asked to ": have fun: straight up. Where as, that is simply the way I TALK. I do not use phrases and terms, such as " so, do u wanna go on a date:. I MEANT to say, I would prefer to say " so, do u wanna go out sometime and do something more fun than sitting at this coffee shop" I would never say " date". Sorry, just to clarify. And I would make sure the guy knows I am a classy girl who only has fun with guys who are into me and respect me and my body..... You know? You can get to know a guy somewhat, and have them know enough about you to KNOW if they consider you amazing enough to date. I would only ask a guy out if they were into me first; which coms through getting to know me...
Pierre Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 EXCUSE me? My way of asking a guy out, reads more like THIS: " so, do u wanna do sometihng fun sometime?" AND, I would make sure I knew the guy WELL ENOUGH, and be friend with them, to be able to be my usual, open self; I would talk about sex and relationships and personal beliefs, as FRIENDS, before asking them out. The guy would KNOW I was a high quakility girl, who does not sleep around...... Asking a guy " so, do u wanna have some fun together sometime" does nto ALWAYS read " slut". It depends on how well u know the guy, OBVIOUSLY. A random guy on the street or that you had just met at a coffee shop, WOULD think a girl was a sl*t, if they just asked to ": have fun: straight up. Where as, that is simply the way I TALK. I do not use phrases and terms, such as " so, do u wanna go on a date:. I MEANT to say, I would prefer to say " so, do u wanna go out sometime and do something more fun than sitting at this coffee shop" I would never say " date". Sorry, just to clarify. And I would make sure the guy knows I am a classy girl who only has fun with guys who are into me and respect me and my body..... You know? You can get to know a guy somewhat, and have them know enough about you to KNOW if they consider you amazing enough to date. I would only ask a guy out if they were into me first; which coms through getting to know me... Good point. the guy should first know you as a friend and know you are not slutty or easy. Very good point. Most of these men are shy and need a bit of a push.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I think women should feel just fine about asking a guy out. But, I could never do it. It's just me.
Pierre Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I think women should feel just fine about asking a guy out. But, I could never do it. It's just me. I have several female friends that are married to men they asked out. However, these were shy men that were considered a very good catch because of intelligence, education, and looks. They way they described is: Too good of a MAN to let him go. The woman are happy because they know they are not married to a philanderer type.
iris219 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I wouldn’t directly ask a man out, but I would drop obvious hints that I wanted him to ask me out. I'd make a comment like: “I can’t wait to try that new Thai restaurant. I love Thai food” or “Such-and-such place has great specials on Wednesday nights” or “I love films about _____. There’s one showing this week at _____.”
MaxNoob Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Don't ask a guy out, it makes you look desperate or slutty. Maybe it's a sign that I have too much of an inflated ego, but I never got the impression that the women who asked me out were desperate. Isn't it a reflection of the man's self esteem? She's only asking me out because she's desperate. versus She's asking me out because I'm awesome. Of course, if the woman is attractive enough, it will work on anyone, not just the shy type. I once had a perfect 10 ask me out; it was impossible for her to appear as desperate when she could clearly have any man she wanted. 1
carhill Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 'I would enjoy grabbing a bite/going out for coffee/dinner with you'. Pretty simple So far, in my 53, this has not happened, but I will post my response if it ever does.
jaymz Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 My ex-sil asked out her husband, they are happily married and expecting their second child. She had met him a couple of times and dropped hints but he was too slow or oblivious so she just asked him out. As someone said earlier, some men are too good to let go, take a risk, you just never know :love:
wwwjd Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 EXCUSE me? My way of asking a guy out, reads more like THIS: " so, do u wanna do sometihng fun sometime?" AND, I would make sure I knew the guy WELL ENOUGH, and be friend with them, to be able to be my usual, open self; I would talk about sex and relationships and personal beliefs, as FRIENDS, before asking them out. The guy would KNOW I was a high quakility girl, who does not sleep around...... Asking a guy " so, do u wanna have some fun together sometime" does nto ALWAYS read " slut". It depends on how well u know the guy, OBVIOUSLY. A random guy on the street or that you had just met at a coffee shop, WOULD think a girl was a sl*t, if they just asked to ": have fun: straight up. Where as, that is simply the way I TALK. I do not use phrases and terms, such as " so, do u wanna go on a date:. I MEANT to say, I would prefer to say " so, do u wanna go out sometime and do something more fun than sitting at this coffee shop" I would never say " date". Sorry, just to clarify. And I would make sure the guy knows I am a classy girl who only has fun with guys who are into me and respect me and my body..... You know? You can get to know a guy somewhat, and have them know enough about you to KNOW if they consider you amazing enough to date. I would only ask a guy out if they were into me first; which coms through getting to know me... I actually understood what you meant. But the words directly used as was in my neck of the woods means sex. But I did know how you meant it. Just posting up an angle.
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