Mattock5656 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Hey guys, I got a few questions about a girl that I have been dating for a little more than a month. We went on many dates and are interested in each other. We have done everything including having sex two times or so and we see each other usually 1-3 times a week. Also, we keep regular communication between text messaging and phone calls etc. The interest level is there it seems, and she usually texts me randomly (not overbearing) that she misses me with smiley faces/hearts etc. Well it seems like everything is falling in place but of course there is always something in the mix that makes me question everything. She broke up with EX 6 months ago and the relationship only lasted 6 months. It took awhile for her to actually talk to me about this and she tells me that she doesn't want to be exclusive and that its too soon for her for commitment. So, I said fair enough that works and I told her that we can take it slow. Another annoying thing is she will show clear interest in me than posts on her Facebook wall a breakup themed song. Keep in mind, that she tells me this on the phone, after I had a wonderful time with her at the movies with her friends. I actually met all of her friends for the first time and they loved me and said that I am way better than the last douche she dated. I don't understand, the interest is there but yet she doesn't want to commitment and she isn't quite over her ex. Should I move on? or should I see what happens? She is an awesome girl and we have so many similarities but it just flatters me that she isn't over a guy after 6 months. I show her I care about her but I am not overbearing at all. Even more weird, is she isn't throwing herself at me (hence not being a rebound) and she even said that she wants to take it slow unlike her last relationship (and even says she is totally interested in me) but then throws me a curve ball and says that it might not work out. (fear of commitment?) Thanks guys
Oxy Moronovich Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Keep having sex with her but look for a fulltime gf elsewhere.
Almond_Joy Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Take her at her word. If she's not cheating on you, then stay with her through the recovery process. If it took her a while to even talk to you about the breakup, it's probably because it hit her pretty hard. The recovery process is different for everyone, and 6 months is not a long enough time to start thinking she can't or won't recover, which is the reasoning it sounds like you're leaning towards. In my experience, breakup recovery time is 6 months minimum, a year average. You don't owe it to her to be her support during recovery, but it says alot about how much you care about her that you still enjoy being with her even though she's still recovering. Having someone with you that cares for you after a breakup does help accelerate the recovery process, also. If you want something long-term with her, then stay. Enjoy the relationship. The joy and stability she gets from your relationship together will help her put the past behind her and leave it there. If you don't think you can deal with what she's doing to recover for a couple more months, even though she's not cheating or treating you badly from what you're saying, I really don't know what to tell you. If she's not cheating or treating you badly I don't see a good reason to leave her. This is a reasonable amount of time for a breakup recovery. If another 6 months goes by and she's in the same place.....that's another story. Just enjoy the relationship and give it time. She'll get over it and probably be all the better of a girlfriend when she's fully recovered because she'll know that she's with someone who really cares for her in good times and bad. That kind of thing goes a long way . Good luck.
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