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So called "girlfriend" is getting engaged

Osiris1234

By Osiris1234
in Infidelity

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Osiris1234 Established Member

Osiris1234

Posted
Posted

This will be a bit of a long post.

 

So I meet great girl, we date for a month. She asks what we are and I ask her the same thing. She asks what I want it to be, tell her a relationship with her, ask her the same thing, she smiles which is code for yes. We do everything together, holding hands while driving, leaning on each other, i mean everything you can think of, its amazing, I never felt this with a girl like her. We are official after a month and are official for 1 month. )I dontcare if it was 1 month or 1 year, she means the world to me)

 

So, here is where it gets really interesting. She has this online guy who is her "bestfriend" and from what ive been told they have known each other for a while. Well about 2 weeks ago she leaves to stay with her cousin because her parents are out of town. Well I would text her like I usually do, call her but she didnt answer and I knew something was up. Well I checked up on facebook and it turns out her and this guy had a "deep talk". Now before you say its some facebook drama ****, it is but isnt. My instincts kicked in but I didn't think it was anything, boy was I wrong. Well I get on a few days later to see she took me off her friends list, so i go to her facebook and find that she is getting engaged to this guy. So of course I get really upset, start crying, getting angry,etc. A million things are going through my mind about why this is happening, etc.

 

This guy lives in up canada, has a kid from another girl, and still lives with his mom, doesn't have a job, and stays at the computer all day long. She has never met this piece of **** before and now she is getting engaged to him. Doesn't that sound very crazy/weird? I mean, getting engaged to someone you've never met and ontop of all that you have a boyfriend. RIGHT, "bestfriend" my ass. She always talked about visiting him but her parents told her that if she ever did that she wouldn't have a home to come to, so thats why she never has.

 

This is what i believe has happened. This guy got jealous i was with her and probably told her a bunch of bull**** about how i wouldnt be good enough for her, or how i wouldnt be a good guy for her, and how he could be better,etc. Ontop of it all he ****ing knew i was with her as well. This ******* is the biggest piece of **** i have ever met. And now he has convinced her to be with him.

 

I havent contacted her at all these last 2 weeks. I have been completely ignoring her. I know for a FACT that once she returns home next week that she WILL call me up wanting to talk/hang and tell me everything. She either thinks im completely oblivious to everything or knows that I know and hasn't said anything.

 

I know most people are gonna tell me to just forget her and move on but I cant do that. I am willing to win her back no matter what it takes, even if it kills me, she is my everything. I want her back, she meant everything to me and I love her.

 

I just don't know what i will say or do when i see her.....I dont wanna break down crying in front of her cause then i would look like a pussy but its gonna be really hard not to. I was thinking of seducing her then convincing her not to be with him. Hell i will manipulate her if thats what it takes so she will stay with me.

 

I just want all this to end with her being with me.....

 

Help?

Owl Established Member

Owl

Posted
Posted

I don't mean this harshly...but it seems to me she made a choice.

 

Not the choice you wanted, for darned sure...but a choice.

 

If she can do this to you...I say let her go. I'm not sure you've got great odds of "winning her back" in this case.

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Osiris1234 Established Member

Osiris1234

Posted
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Posted (edited)
I don't mean this harshly...but it seems to me she made a choice.

 

Not the choice you wanted, for darned sure...but a choice.

 

If she can do this to you...I say let her go. I'm not sure you've got great odds of "winning her back" in this case.

 

 

But this choice is not the right one and I want her to be able to see that so she doesn't do anything stupid. :(

 

Well ive still got a 50/50 chance of winning her back, those are better then no odds at all.....ive got to at least try.....I don't wanna lose her....I need something that will convince her from going with him and to stay with me.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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jwi71 Established Member

jwi71

Posted
Posted

So I meet great girl, we date for a month. She asks what we are and I ask her the same thing. She asks what I want it to be, tell her a relationship with her, ask her the same thing, she smiles which is code for yes.

 

To me, it sounds like instead of actually saying 'yes' - she smiled.

You interpret that as a 'yes' - clearly, going by her words and actions towards her fiance, she meant otherwise.

 

We do everything together, holding hands while driving, leaning on each other, i mean everything you can think of, its amazing, I never felt this with a girl like her. We are official after a month and are official for 1 month. )I dontcare if it was 1 month or 1 year, she means the world to me)

 

Sounds like that endorphin fueled high of a new romance. Never lasts...and it lasted precisely two months for her - based on her actions anyway.

 

Hate to say it...but you are WAY more into her than she is to you.

 

So, here is where it gets really interesting. She has this online guy who is her "bestfriend" and from what ive been told they have known each other for a while. Well about 2 weeks ago she leaves to stay with her cousin because her parents are out of town. Well I would text her like I usually do, call her but she didnt answer and I knew something was up. Well I checked up on facebook and it turns out her and this guy had a "deep talk". Now before you say its some facebook drama ****, it is but isnt. My instincts kicked in but I didn't think it was anything, boy was I wrong. Well I get on a few days later to see she took me off her friends list, so i go to her facebook and find that she is getting engaged to this guy. So of course I get really upset, start crying, getting angry,etc. A million things are going through my mind about why this is happening, etc.

 

Doesn't that sound very crazy/weird?

 

Not a choice I would make. Except we aren't talking about me...we're talking about her. And this was her choice.

 

I mean, getting engaged to someone you've never met and ontop of all that you have a boyfriend. RIGHT, "bestfriend" my ass

 

Well, given what you say in this post, she NEVER said yes...just smiled. You assumed, as she likely wanted you to, that it was a yes.

 

And he's clearly more than her best friend. Equally clearly she lied and you failed to detect it. Point is...you have NO IDEA who this girl is.

 

This is what i believe has happened. This guy got jealous i was with her and probably told her a bunch of bull**** about how i wouldnt be good enough for her, or how i wouldnt be a good guy for her, and how he could be better,etc. Ontop of it all he ****ing knew i was with her as well. This ******* is the biggest piece of **** i have ever met. And now he has convinced her to be with him

 

What it means is she has been talking to him before, during and after "you".

Behind your back.

Her choice to do so.

 

I havent contacted her at all these last 2 weeks. I have been completely ignoring her. I know for a FACT that once she returns home next week that she WILL call me up wanting to talk/hang and tell me everything. She either thinks im completely oblivious to everything or knows that I know and hasn't said anything.

 

Either way speaks volumes. She was fine lying to you about the true nature of her best friend in Canada or she doesn't want to contact you because she's now engaged.

 

You are, to be blunt, yesterday's news.

 

I know most people are gonna tell me to just forget her and move on but I cant do that. I am willing to win her back no matter what it takes, even if it kills me, she is my everything. I want her back, she meant everything to me and I love her.

 

You can't sell her what she doesn't want to buy (from you).

And why would you want her back anyway? She's been, at best, deceptive about this to you.

 

I just don't know what i will say or do when i see her.....I dont wanna break down crying in front of her cause then i would look like a pussy but its gonna be really hard not to. I was thinking of seducing her then convincing her not to be with him. Hell i will manipulate her if thats what it takes so she will stay with me

 

She may enjoy the sex and attention...but at the end of the day her friend proposed and she ACCEPTED. What's so hard to figure out about that?

 

Help?

 

Cut your losses and bail - she's no good given her behavior.

samsungxoxo Established Member

samsungxoxo

Posted
Posted
If a man I'd only been with for a MONTH acted like that toward me, I'd be embarrassed FOR him for acting like a woman.
Worst... I would feel like he has some self-esteem issues. As a woman, I wouldn't even act that way.

It would be a difference if it were 6 months to 1 years but 1 month??? Talk about desperation. That's a trait no one likes.

Owl Established Member

Owl

Posted
Posted
But this choice is not the right one and I want her to be able to see that so she doesn't do anything stupid. :(

 

Well ive still got a 50/50 chance of winning her back, those are better then no odds at all.....ive got to at least try.....I don't wanna lose her....I need something that will convince her from going with him and to stay with me.

 

Then start reading up on affairs and infidelity...and the risks of "online dating". Expose the situation to her family and friends that can put pressure on her to make the right choice. Point out to them WHY this is "the wrong choice"...you might spell that out clearly here as well so that we "get it" as well too.

 

You should be able to use the same methods that work in any situation where infidelity is an issue.

 

Pick up "Surviving an Affair" and read through that.

PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

Posted
Posted
But this choice is not the right one and I want her to be able to see that so she doesn't do anything stupid. :(

Who the hell do you think you are to tell her what to do?

 

She is a human being and has freedom of choice. If she wants to make a choice that you do not like, agree with or want, then sorry buddy but there is jack shlt you can do about it. You do not own or control her. If she wants to screw up her life then that is 100% up to her. It's her life, not yours.

silic0ntoad Established Member

silic0ntoad

Posted
Posted (edited)
Then start reading up on affairs and infidelity...and the risks of "online dating".

 

Had a crazy broad I met online convince me that her BF and her broke up three months prior. Turns out they broke up the night before we met, and she then tried to convince me that she was pregnant by me (or him, she didn't know) a month or so later.

 

The entire thing was a farce, she created it to get him to come back to her.

 

Look bro, she's gone. Let her go. She chose. How do you know who she even is? She never said yes, her smile was something you assumed to have more meaning then it did.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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