tigressA Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Yep. That is where I think I am at this point with work guy. I don't mind, as I don't want to date him/be a girlfriend (just wanted the hookup). I'd rather have him as a friend than nothing at all, which is why I'm not going to 'be bold' and make a move, possibly alienating him. I'm going to keep hanging out and talking with him, and focus on my other prospects for non-platonic activities.
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Guys don't have a friendzone. Maybe a motherzone but not a friendzone. 1
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 If you have any physical attribute a male could find attractive then he has thought of you sexually and you couldn't be in a friendzone. Luckily for women that includes almost all of you.
pandagirl Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Is it just because he isn't aggressively putting the moves on you that you think this? Because not all guys operate that way. 2
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Is it just because he isn't aggressively putting the moves on you that you think this? Because not all guys operate that way. Maybe he didn't drop his pants fast enough.
kaylan Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Guys don't have a friendzone. Maybe a motherzone but not a friendzone. Um yes we do. At least guys who dont constantly think with their penises. I have a couple of female friends who would NEVER be anything else to me despite how well we get along.If you have any physical attribute a male could find attractive then he has thought of you sexually and you couldn't be in a friendzone. Luckily for women that includes almost all of you. Youd prolly screw anything. This statement you made is so false though. All men wont find the same woman attractive. One of my female friends has a nice set of breasts, but shes still in the friendzone.
irc333 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 It's not often you hear of women being FZ'ed. Yep. That is where I think I am at this point with work guy. I don't mind, as I don't want to date him/be a girlfriend (just wanted the hookup). I'd rather have him as a friend than nothing at all, which is why I'm not going to 'be bold' and make a move, possibly alienating him. I'm going to keep hanging out and talking with him, and focus on my other prospects for non-platonic activities.
Pierre Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Yep. That is where I think I am at this point with work guy. I don't mind, as I don't want to date him/be a girlfriend (just wanted the hookup). I'd rather have him as a friend than nothing at all, which is why I'm not going to 'be bold' and make a move, possibly alienating him. I'm going to keep hanging out and talking with him, and focus on my other prospects for non-platonic activities. Men don't FZ women. He is probably not aroused by you, See if you can see him after a few drinks. It seems you are not his type.
kaylan Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Men don't FZ women. He is probably not aroused by you, See if you can see him after a few drinks. It seems you are not his type. ? Thats like saying women dont friendzone men because the woman is not aroused by the guy. Isnt that what the friendzone is? Its basically for people who dont sexually arouse you. Thats usually how guys end up there and women end up there for the same reasons. 3
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Women don't friendzone either. They recognize the interest of men in them who they don't want as lovers and try to use them mostly for attention and sometimes gifts. It is a form of exploitation but so is motherzoning.
Pierre Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 ? Thats like saying women dont friendzone men because the woman is not aroused by the guy. Isnt that what the friendzone is? Its basically for people who dont sexually arouse you. Thats usually how guys end up there and women end up there for the same reasons. You are correct, but women do it differently. Women may tease and give hope to the guy. Women get something out of knowing the guy wants them. Men tend to be more straight forward about it. In addition sometimes FZ goes into a romance level with some women.
Lil1 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Hey Tigressa, please don't take this personally but with your recent dating history I would advise you keep work seperate from your personal life... it just sounds like it's a disaster waiting to happen, for you. Perhaps stay away from casual relationships altogether. You seem like an intense person, and didn't you just get out of a messy relationship? Just saying it may be better for you to slow your roll for now. Maybe your coworker is 'friendzoning' you because HE doesn't want to mix work with pleasure. Good luck with whatever choice you make!
Author tigressA Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 What makes you think that T? I'm not sure if this will make sense, but here goes. He gets flirted with/hit on a lot at work and it seems to annoy him. I noticed that when we hang out on our breaks I will get the evil eye sometimes from other girls. I feel like he views me as...someone who won't be like that. A safe haven, of sorts. A friend. And nothing more. Lil1, thanks for the advice. But he's planning on leaving the job really soon, so if something ever happened and didn't work out it wouldn't be nearly as much of a disaster as you're thinking.
TheBigQuestion Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv5lifxVNE1qi5zdv.png
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I'm not sure if this will make sense, but here goes. He gets flirted with/hit on a lot at work and it seems to annoy him. I noticed that when we hang out on our breaks I will get the evil eye sometimes from other girls. I feel like he views me as...someone who won't be like that. A safe haven, of sorts. A friend. And nothing more. Lil1, thanks for the advice. But he's planning on leaving the job really soon, so if something ever happened and didn't work out it wouldn't be nearly as much of a disaster as you're thinking. Hmmm.... this could just be your perception. Maybe he actually likes you and not the other girls. BUT it perhaps shows that he doesn't like girls making the first move. In the light of that, it may be better to just hang out and wait for him to do something.
threebyfate Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 tigress, just settle back and see what happens. My perspective with men has always been that if they don't make a move, we're friends and that's great, in that another friend can't hurt and is viewed as a positive. He'll make a great wingman if nothing comes of it. 2
dispatch3d Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 This doesn't seem to be connected to anything he does (other girls giving you the evil eye isn't something he can control). From personal experience I hate girls flirting with me because (1) it usually doesn't go anywhere (2) they eventually get pissed at me. probably (1) and (2) in equal parts lol.
Art_Critic Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 IMO.. It's the work connection keeping the action from happening.. Most people don't shiot where they eat.
Leigh 87 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 It sounds like a sensible desision, especially since he does not particularly enjoy other girls advances.... without knowing him personally, the logical options seam like: - he does not like girls hitting on him at work - he does not like girls cracking onto him in general And, possibly: - he likes YOU, and therefore does not enjoy the advances of other women, when your the one he most likes. Or simply: - like ET suggested, he feels safe with you, a girl who is not overtly sexual with him, and seams happy to just be friends. Ultimately, wouldnt it feel great to just be a really good friend to people? You sound like a fun person to have as a friend from your posts and threads, why not just offer yourself to him as a friend, and if he is interested, perhaps he will make a move? Really, though - you could try being direct with him..... Saying " look, I am more than happy to just be friends, it would honestly be great:) however, I have to ask this now and get it out of the way: qare you interested me in a sexual way, and do u want anything to happen between us, be it casual or dating and seeing where it goes? I hate games, I like to be open and honest, and want to know what u are thinking in this regard. If he is not interested, tell him your not going to be annoying and make him uncofmrotable by flirting. Personally, if I feel it with a guy, I just come out and ask them... hey.. are you interested?
smith9800 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 If you have any physical attribute a male could find attractive then he has thought of you sexually and you couldn't be in a friendzone. Luckily for women that includes almost all of you. Yeah...i agree with you...
Author tigressA Posted May 11, 2012 Author Posted May 11, 2012 So it was as I suspected--friendzone. It was confirmed today. I'm not going to get into any details as to how, but it was quick and painless. After, things proceeded normally, much like it never happened. I look forward to continuing to have him as a friend.
mesmerized Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Guys don't have a friendzone. Maybe a motherzone but not a friendzone. Yeah, didn't know girls can get friendzoned.
Author tigressA Posted May 11, 2012 Author Posted May 11, 2012 Okay, everyone give TigressA a hug!!! ::hugs It's not a big deal. I'm not disappointed. I'm glad it turned out the way it did--it could've been this huge awkward mess that led to us avoiding each other for the rest of our days but he was really cool and nice about it. It was all very adult.
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