Cupiddd86 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Hello everyone, My girlfriend broke up with me 6 months ago (after 2 years on and off LDR), it wasn't a mutual break but it was a clean one. She really wanted to stay friends with me and well I was ok with that (considering it was a shot for me to get her back). In the beginning it was weird and after some minor arguements it got clear that this wasn't going to work. She told me, look I still love you and care about you but we can't be close friends. She basically dissapeared for a while and I gave her that space to think about her feelings. When we started talking again there was still a lot of chemistry. After a few weeks (and some mutual flirting) I wanted things to be clear and asked her what our deal was. She told me she still loved me but she moved on, her feelings weren't the same anymore. It was a bitter pill to swallow but I did it. After a while I got oke with the whole situation and we kept contact by messaging on whatsapp and whatnot. But since about 2 months the whole thing changed to something a bit weird. She has suddenly become a whole lot more open to me. Telling me things she would normally not tell me at all. Admitting problems she had even talking about our relationship. The thing that disturbs me the most though is that she keeps texting me awake. Sometimes she's drunk while texting me and sometimes she's not.. but I really don't understand it. Why does my ex keep texting me awake? I've asked her not to, told her it's annoying, replied sarcastically etc. At some point she even told me "oh I always thought you were a heavy sleeper" even though when we were together she always woke me up with skype messages/calls/text messages etc. I would really like to know why she's doing this. She makes up excuses saying like "oh I just opened my whatsapp and just got the messages" even though I've seen her being online several times before.. at 21:00 only to be woken up at 3:00 by her.. (since the app has that feature) On a sidenote ever since this started, I keep dreaming about her.. I guess only she can answer that question but maybe you guys or gals can help me shed some more light on this. I'm not looking for any signs to get back with her.. It's just sort of driving me insane and depriving me of a hell of a lot of sleep Thanks!
Author Cupiddd86 Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 I didn't ask how to stop it though, so nothing was "sorted" as you put it. Thanks for the "Useful" advice though . I can't turn of my phone due to work; I could switch of internet but I rather leave it open in case someone really needs me. If I wanted to I could block her but I'm actually interested in the why and the what, that's why I asked for opinions on what it could be/mean rather than how to make it stop.
TaraMaiden Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 (edited) Use a separate phone for work. I do, no problem. I switched numbers, advised all my clients/colleagues, and hey presto. sorted. Short of blocking her number and cutting all contact, then that's your only other option. And no - don't give her that number as well..... as to why and what it means - well, second-guessing, or crawling into her head is not an option. the question is never to ask what their game is. the question is - what should I do about this. And the answer is simple. Either ask her if this means you could be an item again, or delete/block go No contact. Edited May 8, 2012 by TaraMaiden
geegirl Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 (edited) I use my phone for work too but unless you're on call 24-7 then I can't understand the need to have it on while you and most are asleep at night. Agree with Tara, you either ask her upfront or NC. Game playing takes two. You either get out or you continue being played. Guessing just keeps you continuously guessing. So it's a waste of time trying to get in someone's head to understand their dysfunction. Ask or NC. Edited May 8, 2012 by geegirl
Exit Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I think you're wasting your time wondering about this, but I could be wrong. Girls cross a line once they start saying things like "my feelings have changed, I've moved on", and they rarely, RARELY come back from that. I'm not saying you don't have a right to be confused by all this contact you're getting from her, but it still doesn't necessarily mean anything, and you're letting her do it to you. You say you're not looking for signs to get back together with her, but to me it seems like you are. Why make a mountain out of a molehill so to speak? Why play this guessing game, why let the contact continue and waking you up at night? I would ask her what her deal is. If you're inclined to ask if she ever rethinks her decision about the relationship, go ahead. If not, leave that part out, and simply say hey, if you're friends now, buddy, pal, please stop messaging me at night so I can sleep! No Contact would be the healthiest way to go because I don't buy it that you're totally over her or that you were ever really okay with this just being friends thing, but you're finding excuses to keep it going. Bet you'd feel a lot better once you get a few weeks of silence between you and her.
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