smellybelly Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 (edited) Men what do you think of a woman who fools around with you the second time you meet... So here goes the story--- Met a guy online from the same city, figured out we'd both be in the same citWy on vacation at the same time. Met up with our friends on day one for drinks, met up with our friends again on day two for drinks. Figured out we all had common friends, backgrounds etc. Come day two, i'm thinking, i'm single, on vacation, and wouldn't mind some action with this guy.. So we head back to his room for some making out and then fell asleep (no sex). he suggests breakfast, i'm puzzled..aren't we just having fun... I'm thinking, "i've had fun- can't wait to get back to my hotel so I can hit up the pool and don't plan on seeing this guy again" . So i leave quickly in the morning with a goodbye and quick kiss. Head back to my room in the morning, happy, and smug, enjoying the pool. Guy texts to make sure i made it back safe and to let me know he had fun... i'm thinking - wasn't expecting this - respond but pretty aloof and cool. So get back home, read his profile again and realize.. i actually kind of liked him... and maybe am interested in seeing him again. So text him- we exchange a few texts. he suggests drinks that night.. i can't am busy.. i suggest another night.. he can't he's busy. he suggests the following weekend... i say sure. let me know.... and then i never hear from him again. So now what..... he seemed very interested initially.. did i come across as not interested to him... but i thought i balanced it out by texting him.. i don't know so confused. Would like to text him,, but all the advise i've gotten from women is not too.. guys what do you think..? Was it just a good time for him too- did he simply text the next day out of courtesy? Edited May 8, 2012 by smellybelly
blindesided Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I dont think it has anything to do with fooling around. Maybe he has other girls he is dating too? I think you might have come across as not interested at first. Who knows why guys just stop communciating. I think more guys do it then girls - maybe he feels like its easier to ignore you than say he met someone or lost interest. I know its frustrating - I have dealt with it before. I agree with your friends - dont text him - he knows how to find you if he wants
carhill Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Just as it is for women, she can't 'fool around' if I'm not cooperating, and I wouldn't with a virtual stranger, so it's never been an issue for myself. If I were to encounter such a woman, and a few MW's come to mind, I would, as I've done, decline to participate, and would likely adopt the viewpoint that we (she and myself) are on different paths regarding sexual expression. The good news is she has many compatible path-mates.
SJC2008 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Why were you wierded out by him suggesting breakfast? I don't understand, you post that "aren't we just having fun". What does breakfast have anything to do with that at all? Now since you didn't have breakfst he may have thought that you were down for a ONS and feels embarrassed that he didn't go for it. As far as the dates go, you both offered alternatives so you both showed interest so why he ghosted is beyond me.
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I really don't know why people do this. You'd have thought if he was that interested, he'd at least have come back for sex before he vanished. So it was quite weird. Sometimes people just change their minds, or get shy, or just lose interest. You can either ask him to put your mind at rest, or just forget about him.
thatone Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 (edited) you blew it. he offered breakfast, which he would have probably used to bring up doing something later over or spending the rest of the day together over. when you ran away from his breakfast proposal he tried again over text, you refused, in your own words being 'aloof' to him. you agree to see him again but didn't give him a time, after rejecting his first proposed time. at this point you have 3 strikes.... a) you refused the breakfast for no apparent reason b) you refused his suggested date time again and didn't suggest one of your own c) you put on a false sense of disinterest in your tone, by your own admission and you know what that means, three strikes, you're out. he's probably written you off. the lesson to take away is if you're interested you can't retreat to the safety of your friends and the distance of text messages with a guy who can pursue other options. he has no reason to be interested in YOU, because you showed no interest in HIM. if you respond to anything with a no, it better be followed by a yes about something else, or any man with half a brain in his head will take that as rejection and move along. that about sums it up. Edited May 8, 2012 by thatone 3
The Humbler Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 You played childish games and got ditched for it. End/thread
Author smellybelly Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 perfect! thank you for the honest feedback. I didn't show interest initially because I wasn't sure I was interested and I suppose he's lost interest. So.. if he's still on my mind in a week or so, I'll just ask him out for a drink with specifics and see what happens... Thanks peeps!
Author smellybelly Posted May 24, 2012 Author Posted May 24, 2012 so... he was still on my mind so i texted him hello... he proceeded to suggest meeting up,,, and we did.. been on a couple o dates since... 2
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