SJC2008 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Hi I'm back after a suspension lol. Anyway I've been messaging a new woman online and in the first paragraph she says she's not interested in most men but the few that she connects with are extra special?? Eyebrow raiser at first but here are a few things that tells me she's realistic and down to earth: I'm very honest in my profile and state that I have a year left of school (I'm 30) and list myself as a few extra pounds so the fact that she still messaged me back is a plus IMO. Also, she's pretty attracive so the fact that she messaged me back tells me she's serious about dating and not using OLD to find mr rich dream boat. So what do you think about this ladies? Guys feel free too!
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 in the first paragraph she says she's not interested in most men That red flag was all you needed to next her. It speaks to a deeper narcissism and commitment issues in the future. There is a reason she had to resort to OLD.
FitChick Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 That red flag was all you needed to next her. It speaks to a deeper narcissism and commitment issues in the future. There is a reason she had to resort to OLD. I think she was trying to discourage the ravenous hordes from contacting her. Did she describe the type of man she WAS interested in? Get to know her better and then decide.
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I think she was trying to discourage the ravenous hordes from contacting her. Did she describe the type of man she WAS interested in? Get to know her better and then decide. You'll find a lot of those women on OLD are spoiled and entitled. Even if what you say is the case then it demonstrates an unwillingness to be open and give people a chance. Not the kind of person anyone should want to date especially if you plan to introduce her to people she will have to get along with or you won't be able to date her.
Author SJC2008 Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 I think she was trying to discourage the ravenous hordes from contacting her. Did she describe the type of man she WAS interested in? Get to know her better and then decide. I'm thinking this too Fitchick. She said she is a sucker for blue eyes and old fashioned values so I'm not whipping out the man hater card yet. And remember what I said in the second paragraph in the op that were positives. Also, I kind relate to what she said. I'm a man so by insticnt I size up every woman I see lol but hardly do I feel a "gut level" attraction for a woman so mabye this is a good thing. Something to reate to her with mabye?
Author SJC2008 Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 You'll find a lot of those women on OLD are spoiled and entitled. Even if what you say is the case then it demonstrates an unwillingness to be open and give people a chance. Not the kind of person anyone should want to date especially if you plan to introduce her to people she will have to get along with or you won't be able to date her. Re-read the OP. If she was spoiled and entitled she wouldn't message a 30 year old man who is a late bloomer career wise IMO. Like I also said in the OP I list myself as a few extra pounds and I guess she doesn't have a problem with that either. That being said it did raise an eyebrow but there are some positives to give the benefit of the doubt. We'll see if it gets to a date, I asked for her number already. On a side note, I asked another customer at work for her number and she said she had a bf, I was embarrased lol. That's why I hardly ever do it because you just don't know, figured I'd share that.
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Re-read the OP. If she was spoiled and entitled she wouldn't message a 30 year old man who is a late bloomer career wise IMO. Like I also said in the OP I list myself as a few extra pounds and I guess she doesn't have a problem with that either. You believe a woman who is spoiled and entitled being with someone who has the qualities listed to be mutually exclusive but it isn't.
Author SJC2008 Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 You believe a woman who is spoiled and entitled being with someone who has the qualities listed to be mutually exclusive but it isn't. I'm not saying they are mutually exclusive but there are scores and scores of threads about lack of responses from women who use OLD. What I'm saying is that her view in men seemed like a red flag but then again I gave insight to paint a clear picture to reasons it may not be a red flag. Mabye she is a man hater, mabye she's like me and finds it hard to connect with the opposite sex.
thatone Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 (edited) man you need to stop. you don't know anything about anyone on a dating site. everything they say can be a pack of lies coupled with stock photos. you don't know anything about her. relax. in fact, it might not even be a her. it's a well established fact that paid dating sites have hired people putting up fake profiles to grab the interest of people who are about to cancel to bleed them for more cash. i mean, at least a hooker in your case would deliver the service promised. online dating sites are lying to you. think about that. Edited May 8, 2012 by thatone
Author SJC2008 Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 man you need to stop. you don't know anything about anyone on a dating site. everything they say can be a pack of lies coupled with stock photos. you don't know anything about her. relax. in fact, it might not even be a her. it's a well established fact that paid dating sites have hired people putting up fake profiles to grab the interest of people who are about to cancel to bleed them for more cash. i mean, at least a hooker in your case would deliver the service promised. online dating sites are lying to you. think about that. None of this or any other response except for the first two has to do with the question. It's a simple Q and it branches off into women and entitlement and other points like dishonesty online, unrelated topics meant for other threads.
sid3 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Welcome back SJC What's so questionable about her statement? I'm not interested in most women. And the few I've connected with were special. Granted not from OLD but its still the exact same premise. How did you respond?
Emilia Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 None of this or any other response except for the first two has to do with the question. It's a simple Q and it branches off into women and entitlement and other points like dishonesty online, unrelated topics meant for other threads. Thatone did answer your question. The person's profile may not be genuine (very likely it isn't in fact) therefore your reaction to it is a reaction to something that quite possibly doesn't exist.
spiderowl Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I had something similar on my profile. I just felt it was hard to find someone who I really connected with. It had little to do with looks but something more intangible, just hitting it off really well. I wouldn't let it put you off. If she's not interested the messages will fizzle out or she'll say something.
Author SJC2008 Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 Welcome back SJC What's so questionable about her statement? I'm not interested in most women. And the few I've connected with were special. Granted not from OLD but its still the exact same premise. How did you respond? Thanks Sid. Well if you really think about it that phrase could be used for most people but what I failed to mention was that before that statement she said "I don't like most guys". I opened up with a pretty sexually suggestive joke about her alma matter, she said she could take a joke so I went for it lol and she replied.
FitChick Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Don't listen to the envious people who had no luck with online dating. Just go and have fun. You have nothing to lose. It's not life or death. 2
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Last time I really looked at OLD a year ago for my area there was 2-3 times as many guys as girls in the best case scenario, the guys were average to well above average for the most part, 80-90% of the women were over 200 lbs, most of the girls you could want were only looking for friendship, the few desirable women who were there for dating one couldn't get a response from since they were inundated with messages, the same was true for hideous girls who wouldn't get a second look irl but were getting scores of followers on OLD due to them being not morbidly obese and youngish, and most women acted like they were giving up on life while you were chop liver they were merely settling on who should be extra thankful to the point of being wall to wall carpeting for them to walk all over. You would be better off going to a club. I am not seriously suggesting going to a club to find a relationship but you would be better off. OLD only works if you are a female seeking a male.
sid3 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Thanks Sid. Well if you really think about it that phrase could be used for most people but what I failed to mention was that before that statement she said "I don't like most guys". I opened up with a pretty sexually suggestive joke about her alma matter, she said she could take a joke so I went for it lol and she replied. Good, she replied. So what's up? Still chatting back and forth?
Author SJC2008 Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 Good, she replied. So what's up? Still chatting back and forth? Yeah she replied, mabye I wasn't clear about that in the op but that's cool. We've exchanged a few emails and I asked her for her # yesterday and told her I'd call her today. She gave it to me and I called her and got her VM (big shocker right?) so I guess she'll call me tomorrow. I guess she'll be another "hard to get" but the last one was too so I got my feet wet and am ready lol!
sid3 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Yeah she replied, mabye I wasn't clear about that in the op but that's cool. We've exchanged a few emails and I asked her for her # yesterday and told her I'd call her today. She gave it to me and I called her and got her VM (big shocker right?) so I guess she'll call me tomorrow. I guess she'll be another "hard to get" but the last one was too so I got my feet wet and am ready lol! Oh the dreaded voice mail, not a big shocker. So you're waiting to see if she calls you before trying again?
Author SJC2008 Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 Oh the dreaded voice mail, not a big shocker. So you're waiting to see if she calls you before trying again? Well yes and no. Since I got her number online and we have never talked IRL mabye she's not comfortable calling. I guess I can try her tomorrow since I called her yesterdy. What do you think
FitChick Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Wait a day before calling or emailing again. Maybe send an email saying "I dialed _______ and left a message. Hope I didn't get your number wrong! Looking forward to speaking with you. Please call me at ________" Then let it go. Keep looking for other prospects in the meantime.
Author SJC2008 Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 Wait a day before calling or emailing again. Maybe send an email saying "I dialed _______ and left a message. Hope I didn't get your number wrong! Looking forward to speaking with you. Please call me at ________" Then let it go. Keep looking for other prospects in the meantime. Yeah mabye I'll do that but I'll wait a few days. The last 2 women I met online (Never got to a date) called me back after I left a VM.
g450 Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 Some older women know exactly what they want and do not want to settle for an alternative. They do not want to compromise. My XW is a good example of that. She settled for me. After divorce she told me that she is in no big hurry to find another man but she knows exactly what she wants and doesnt want in a man. At her age she says she will not settle on just anyone anymore because she is too old for that. Hurt me to hear that from her because I knew that was a crack at me. I do however understand what she meant. That's all fine and dandy but a person that is not willing to comprimise is going to be alone for a long long time IMHO.
sid3 Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 Yeah I think you should give it one more try tomorrow unless she's returned you call already. I probably wouldn't have left a voice mail the first time I called. I dont expect most girls to return a call at first.
Author SJC2008 Posted May 10, 2012 Author Posted May 10, 2012 Yeah I think you should give it one more try tomorrow unless she's returned you call already. I probably wouldn't have left a voice mail the first time I called. I dont expect most girls to return a call at first. Well the good news is that she got back to me and we're going out Saturday. I just feel wierd about not leaving a message, mabye next time I'll just say I'll try you later in the week. Wish me luck!!!
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