Author Gulf-Delta Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 Can you still move on while being friends with her? If you can then go for it. And I'm assuming you don't want her back? I can move on and be friends with her. At least I believe I can. The thing about wanting her back...I mean, she really damaged my trust too much to be in a relationship with her. And she's just changed. If there was a spark reignited...she'd have to go back to being the person I fell for, and I don't see that happening. I'd like to be with the "old her", but that girl is gone. I can't telly what gonna happen in the future obviously, but as of right now, the way her life is now, I'd have to turn her down.
Svet74 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Which sometimes takes years or when your happily with other people
Author Gulf-Delta Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 NC is helping me get over my ex. We broke up on good terms. Although she was the one who left me, I allowed her to and made it clear that I loved her and had strong feelings, and that being friends wasnt an option right now. NC is what's going to help me heal. Hearing from her would set me back and make me miss her. Deleting her from my life for a bit will allow me to get over her, and we can be friends when the feelings are gone. Aye, it can help for a while. It worked for me. In my case, when I tried to be friends with her before, I had this...hope that she would take me back. I just would not accept she had changed. At the time I did need NC, because the change was too much for me to handle. I couldn't stand the fact that she changed and I lost someone. I couldn't accept that she lost feelings for me. Now, I've accepted that the qualities I fell in love with and feelings she has for me are A) Gone forever, B) She won't admit to them, or C) They're just buried so deep down that they might as well not exist.
Svet74 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 That's exactly how I feel about my ex. He is not the person that I wanna be with that he is now. But the person that he was or maybe he was just fake and this is the real him. I'm not too sure. But one thing is a fact I couldn't talk to him and wait and hope that he would change. It was like slow torture. And he needs to change himself. Without me. If its true love then either way we will end up together
Author Gulf-Delta Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 Which sometimes takes years or when your happily with other people Well, I think she's with someone now (but I'm not sure...most guys tell me they wouldn't be able to tolerate her)...and I'm not happy about it, it just upset me because I felt replaced. I:t upset me because of my ego. I'm not really mad at her, though slightly aggravated that she's acting so stupid.
Svet74 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 She needs to just do what she wants. And if her being stupid is one of them then let her.
Author Gulf-Delta Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 She needs to just do what she wants. And if her being stupid is one of them then let her. Exactly. I mean, letting me go was a mistake. She doesn't know it yet. Our relationship was perfect. NEVER argued. Loved each other very much. Very supportive of one another. Amazing sex. But, as most young women like to do, so wanted to go out, drink, club it up. I wanted no part of that. I made her choose, and she chose that. She was incredibly conflicted about it, and of course we were both upset. But if it's meant to be, as we always thought, then she'll come back.
Svet74 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Yeah the partying might wear off. Who knows. Good luck on everything
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Exactly. I mean, letting me go was a mistake. She doesn't know it yet. Our relationship was perfect. NEVER argued. Loved each other very much. Very supportive of one another. Amazing sex. But, as most young women like to do, so wanted to go out, drink, club it up. I wanted no part of that. I made her choose, and she chose that. She was incredibly conflicted about it, and of course we were both upset. But if it's meant to be, as we always thought, then she'll come back. I wouldn't go back to a fellow with an attitude like that. Not even for friendship.Most ladies know when it's time to let go of a man.
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Well, I think she's with someone now (but I'm not sure...most guys tell me they wouldn't be able to tolerate her)...and I'm not happy about it, it just upset me because I felt replaced. I:t upset me because of my ego. I'm not really mad at her, though slightly aggravated that she's acting so stupid. A good friend wouldn't dis another friend that way; they would accept her choice and respect that choice as well.
Author Gulf-Delta Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 I wouldn't go back to a fellow with an attitude like that. Not even for friendship.Most ladies know when it's time to let go of a man. What?? You wouldn't go back with a man who was giving you space when you asked for it? Which attitude of mine would push her away? A good friend wouldn't dis another friend that way; they would accept her choice and respect that choice as well. What diss? I did accept and respect her choice. She's an adult, she can do what she wants. With or without me. Do I wish she would've made it work, or made a different choice? Of course, but she didn't. That's her decision.
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 What?? You wouldn't go back with a man who was giving you space when you asked for it? Which attitude of mine would push her away? What diss? I did accept and respect her choice. She's an adult, she can do what she wants. With or without me. Do I wish she would've made it work, or made a different choice? Of course, but she didn't. That's her decision. "I mean, letting me go was a mistake-she doesn't know it yet" Really?==maybe she didn't see it that way. She went with her heart. You've been dissing her choices and generalizing: " As most young women like to do, so wanted to go out, drink, club it up."--this is not MOST young women. This is her decision; respect it. She is happy now.
Author Gulf-Delta Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 "I mean, letting me go was a mistake-she doesn't know it yet" Really?==maybe she didn't see it that way. She went with her heart. Yeah, life is totally better off not having someone who supports you, and loves you unconditionally. It's totally a good idea to leave that. You've been dissing her choices and generalizing: " As most young women like to do, so wanted to go out, drink, club it up."--this is not MOST young women. This is her decision; respect it. She is happy now. That's not a diss, it's the truth. That is what she wanted. That's why she's doing it. And yes, most young women, of my generation, where I live, do it. Unless I happen to live in an area and meet a whole bunch of freaks who aren't the norm.
Svet74 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I'm 24 and I don't go clubbing. Everyone is different. Young or old 1
Author Gulf-Delta Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 I'm 24 and I don't go clubbing. Everyone is different. Young or old She's 22 and had a very sheltered childhood. She's never been single since age 17. My friend's GF went through the same thing. So has every dude's girl I know. Not saying it's EVERY girl, but a lot of them. At least with the people I know.
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Yeah, life is totally better off not having someone who supports you, and loves you unconditionally. It's totally a good idea to leave that. That's not a diss, it's the truth. That is what she wanted. That's why she's doing it. And yes, most young women, of my generation, where I live, do it. Unless I happen to live in an area and meet a whole bunch of freaks who aren't the norm. you are acting like you are God's gift; she will have someone else to support and love her unconditionally. She seems fine with it.
Author Gulf-Delta Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 you are acting like you are God's gift; she will have someone else to support and love her unconditionally. She seems fine with it. She told me I was God's gift to her. Literally. And I don't see how you can say she's "fine with it" or that she has someone loving her unconditionally...been speaking with her?
Svet74 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I can understand the sheltered part. My exes dad is a pastor. And my ex is 26 and still immature
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