phineas Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Being sexually exclusive and in an exclusive relationship are two different things. If I was sleeping with a guy, I would always be sexually exclusive but I would not necessarily want to be publicly known as his 'girlfriend'. One is not sleeping with more than one guy at once, the other is not being in a committed relationship. 'Sup.
phineas Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 ASKING somebody for exclusivity is not "controlling." Demanding exclusivity? Yeah, that would be controlling. But who does that?? It's certainly not what the OP described. Saying that him being upfront about what he wants is controlling, insecure, or pushy is ridiculous. It's not like he tried to force her to be exclusive. And if she doesn't want what he does, fine. Better to get it out of the way in the beginning and move on to somebody more compatible. I think after four dates she should be willing to stop dating others (assuming she is in the first place) if she is into the OP. What is wrong with giving somebody a few weeks of your time - exclusively - to see if you want a relationship with them? I've never had a woman who was into me make it to the 4th date without suggesting movie night. If you know what I mean. NEVER.
goldengirl11 Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Oh, to the OP, you did the right thing. Who has to think about it after four dates? Next.... Agree with you there.
g450 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 (edited) I'm touched! Please proceed with thinking you can bully me over an internet forum! LOL Your whole argument is predicated on the notion the girl the OP was referring to was having sex with multiple men. You don't know that at all. You're building an entirely new argument off a false premise and then demand I refute your straw man. Sorry, not wasting my time. If you want to create a new thread with the premise that you know someone you're dating is having sex with multiple people and then you ask them to become exclusive, by all means go ahead. But in this case you are simply assuming that scenario. You don't know all the facts by a long shot! You can call me whatever you want. Believe me, being called names by an anonymous person behind a computer screen doesn't intimidate me one bit! So now we are not just controlling, we also intimidate you? Really? You are so full of yourself. And I now wonder if you are actually reading what has been posted. Why dont you just admit it. You were called on your BS with an honest and IMHO brilliant question and you dont have the guts to answer it because it will knock down your own straw man (as you like to put it). You are so fake. We presented our arguments and backed it up with logic that seems to escape you for some reason. Any shred of credibility you had went out the window with that. Your only playing symantics now. Edited May 13, 2012 by g450
g450 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Agree with you there. Exactly. If the woman doesnt know what she wants after four dates with me then I would let her go. And if she is going on multiple dates with multiple men, that tells me all I need to know. Not the kind of girl I would be interested in. Plenty of women out there that actually cherrish commitment on any level. I would not waste my time with a multidater because IMHO they are just playing games.
Sugarkane Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 If thats how you guys feel then why has the guy I've been seeing, asked me to be exclusive, sleeping together but still has his profile up? Apparently some guys don't want you to see other guys, yet they still want to meet other girls?
TheFinalWord Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 So now we are not just controlling, we also intimidate you? Really? You are so full of yourself. And I now wonder if you are actually reading what has been posted. Why dont you just admit it. You were called on your BS with an honest and IMHO brilliant question and you dont have the guts to answer it because it will knock down your own straw man (as you like to put it). You are so fake. We presented our arguments and backed it up with logic that seems to escape you for some reason. Any shred of credibility you had went out the window with that. Your only playing symantics now. "I don't have the guts!" :lmao: LOL
phineas Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 If thats how you guys feel then why has the guy I've been seeing, asked me to be exclusive, sleeping together but still has his profile up? Apparently some guys don't want you to see other guys, yet they still want to meet other girls? Because you let him do that. Honestly, you agreed to be exclusive, having sex, the he keeps his profile up & you are still talking to him? Mind is blown.
Sugarkane Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Because you let him do that. Honestly, you agreed to be exclusive, having sex, the he keeps his profile up & you are still talking to him? Mind is blown. Well for starters I didn't know he still had his profile up, until I snooped. Even though the guys on here were like are you insane? He must be a fantastic guy if he asked you to be exclusive! Yet my gut feeling did not say so. And apparently a lot of guys do this online?
phineas Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Well for starters I didn't know he still had his profile up, until I snooped. Even though the guys on here were like are you insane? He must be a fantastic guy if he asked you to be exclusive! Yet my gut feeling did not say so. And apparently a lot of guys do this online? I was prepared to deactivate when I slept with one woman I met online. But she kinda went stage 5 clinger / bi-polar like the next day so my profile was hidden for like a whole week before I dropped her & re-enabled. But, i'm old so it may be different for me.
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