aal763 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 (edited) There's this girl I REALLY like in one of my college classes. Ever since she sat by me, I've been thinking about her non-stop. Lately, I've been waiting for her to sit by me again to start a conversation with her, but other people keep taking her spot. Since there is only 1 full week of school left, if she isn't able to sit by me on Friday, I feel like I'm going to have to ask her for some coffee or something after class. How would I go about asking her after class? Since I've never really talked to her before, I don't know if I should just go up to her and ask. What do you think I should say? Also, since I am transferring to a different school next year, what could I do to ensure we keep seeing each other over summer and next fall if she says yes to me? I'm not trying to be a creep, but according to her friends, she lives about an hour and a half from my house. Could we make this work? I really really like this girl, and don't want to let her slip away because I was too shy to ask her. Best Regards, Robert. Edited May 8, 2012 by aal763
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 You shouldn't have waited. Now you are desperate and it's too late. You should just let this one go and move on.
Author aal763 Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 Would it hurt to ask? Because I think that she really likes me. She always sits near me, and I've caught her looking over at me before.
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Do whatever you want. It is your life. You don't need my permission but it is doubtful it will turn into anything long term even if you are able to start something.
chimneychamp Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Just do it. Otherwise you'll wonder about it for the next ten years. Nothing to lose really, even if you are rejected. You won't have to be around her again after a week... 1
Author aal763 Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 How should I ask her, if I'm going up to her for the first time? Does this sound good, or creepy? "Hey I feel pretty awkward asking you this, cause I dont really know you, but I couldn't help but notice how pretty you are. But, would you like to grab a cup of coffee or something?" I'm sorry for asking so many questions, but I don't have much experience in dating. Best Regards, Rob
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Don't express your insecurities. Keep it simple and sweet. Just ask to go out for the coffee date. If she says no then you'll realize this attraction on her part was all in your mind and you can move on. 1
Author aal763 Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 Ok sounds good. Thanks for the advice guys.
Author aal763 Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 Well.....It didn't work out. On Friday, she actually sat by me and I started a conversation with her. I thought our conversation went really well. She laughed at one of my jokes and everything. After class, I asked her for her name and introduced myself. I then asked her if she would like to grab a cup of coffee or something. She came up with an excuse that she had to turn some paper in or something. But what really confused me was that she kept on talking to me normally as we were walking out of the building as if me asking her out didn't make her dislike me. So, I gathered that she kinda liked me. This next part is the part that I wish I would have done all over again. I could just kick myself for doing this. After class, I went and added her on facebook and sent her a message with the request telling her that it was nice talking to her and that I was wondering if she would like to grab a coffee on Saturday since we couldn't grab one on Friday. She accepted the friend request but ignored my message to her. The next extremely stupid thing I did was send her a Words With Friends game request - She denied it. However, she hasn't deleted me from her friends. So I'm kinda confused about this one. I pretty much know that she doesn't want to start a relationship. However, I don't know whether she hates my guts or just wants to be friends. Should I even bother talking to her any more or should I just be a man and delete her on facebook and never talk to her again, because tomorrow is my last class with her and I'll never have to see her again either? Best Regards, Robert
ScreamingTrees Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Leave her on your list, perhaps, but just don't bother with her? I mean, deleting her right after you add her will make it look as if you only wanted to date her, which IMO is a good thing. It's best to make your intentions known and be unapologetic about it. Who cares? You just asked her out, and you don't have to pretend to be her friend for whatever sad reason. I think you need to focus more on not obsessing over every girl that happens to lock eyes with you here and there.. For all you know, she might've been staring at you more often because she noticed you staring. That COULD be a good thing, but I don't believe she's interested. Girls make excuses, but it's mostly bull****. I knew girls who made excuses as to why they couldn't do this or that, but in reality, even if they WERE busy, a person can ALWAYS make time for things or people.. If they want to. I personally don't buy into people's bull****, and I'll call them out on it face-to-face. I have no patience for it, but that's just me, you won't catch me wasting weeks pining over a girl who's just as likely to have some stupid excuse. It's better to just get it over with right away.. 1
Christine52 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 During break, just say hi, and introduce yourself. Say how happy you are that class is almost done or ask a question about exams. If she likes you, she will carry on the conversation with you. Continue the conversation when lecture finishes, and walk with her out the classroom. Then, ask her what she's up to this week. If she likes you, she'll give you a 'free' pass, meaning, she'll say "oh nothing much", "just going to hang out with some friends". If she says, "I'm so busy this week", let it go. Be happy, carefree, outgoing and smile Don't be nervous, you have nothing to be nervous about
mortensorchid Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Sorry this did not work for you. I was happy to see that others had pushed you into doing it, because you were clearly afraid to do it. It didn't happen, you tried, and it fell down. Good for you for trying. I hope the next time you will get better results. 1
Author aal763 Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 Yeah, now that I think about it, I'm really really glad I asked her, even though she rejected me. At least now, I know that I have the courage to ask a girl out. I'm looking forward to transferring to a new school this fall and starting off with a clean slate. Thank you everyone for the helpful and wonderful answers. Best Regards, Robert
pteromom Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Lessons to learn from this: - ask a girl out as soon as you realize you are attracted to her. This way you don't build it up in your head to some huge crush... - don't worry about whether the relationship will work out, how you'll make it work, etc. Get through Date 1. If there is a connection, go for Date 2. Take it one step at a time. - keep it simple and casual and let it build on its own. - don't add someone to Facebook until you are actually FRIENDS. It's too awkward to figure out what to do with them if it doesn't go anywhere. 1
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