daisy088 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 (edited) It will be a week tomorrow since my last interaction with the ex (we split up almost 3 weeks ago), when he drunkenly told me he is surprised our relationship lasted as long as it did, he knew it would end the whole time, he doesn't have the feelings I have for him-for me, he doesnt actually "Love" me but he just cares about me in a basic way (despite his being the one to tell me he loved me first many months before and his adoration of me for a year+), im not the girl he wanted to marry (despite telling me the day he broke up with me that i was the girl he wanted to be with forever), and that he couldnt see a future, every other cruel thing that you can imagine. The things he said run completely counter to the way he acted with me for years. He stomped off home alone and I was in hysterical tears. One of his friends felt so bad he walked me home and hugged me after the ex stormed off/was rude. (Background info, we were living together, have been good friends/hooking up for years, dating for more than a year. He ended it when I asked if he wanted to and it was SO sudden and impulsive. Prior to this- he had gone through my phone and email and saw that I was talking about other guys to my single girlfriends jokingly, my ex included. he didn't like what he saw, which I understand, but I do not hang out with other guys, see or talk to my ex, date others, and have never cheated. He adored me and I adored him. We spent most of our time together, laughed, had fun. I stuck with him through his worst days/sickness and told him I loved him every single day. We were so affectionate and in love). I am leaving town in 5 days and it is possible I may never see him again as he is moving soon too (he suddenly said he didnt want to do LDR when we broke up even though we said we were going to and he would only be 2 hours away). He was my best friend. I have become so cynical. He has not said a word of contact to me since this interaction/hasn't initiated contact once since he admitted he wanted to end things. He goes out and I feel like is totally fine. How could he just flip a switch and go from spending everyday together/loving me to not caring or communicating with me at ALL? I just dont understand how the world can be so unfair. How I can cry about this everyday and they are just fine? Do you guys believe in karma? Do men usually regret spur of the moment decisions later in comparison to women? I have become obsessed with wanting him to regret it/realize what he lost (I am attractive, smart, generous, fun, kind, and was a very good girlfriend). I want him to hurt like I do... PS. I do suspect this may be GIGS (he is 25 and moving away for career reasons/about to have some big changes). I will not contact him. Edited May 8, 2012 by daisy088
january2011 Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 I think there's an element of truth that in some cultures men are socialised to not show their feelings in public. And from what I remember, the feelings of revenge were fairly 'normal' during the early days of grieving for a relationship - part of the anger phase. Along with NC, I think you need to take what he said at face value. The cruel and horrible things he said should spur you on to live well and be the best 'you' that you can be. That's the best revenge.
jennisfora Posted May 10, 2012 Posted May 10, 2012 you will never know what is going through his mind, but if it helps you, my ex broke up with me suddenly, and seems to regret it very much, is begging for forgiveness now, 4 months later. does he want to get back together? i dont think so, but he feels guilty. i am sure your ex also feels bad about how he treated you and ended things. i am sure he will have regrets. if he doesnt, he is a sociopath, and you should stay away from him anyway, as sociopaths do not care about other people, only in the capacity of how they can use them. *hugs*
Recommended Posts