BaconBaconBacon Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I'm not the biggest talker on the planet. I don't usually speak up unless I feel really strongly about a subject. I don't usually do small talk unless it's to get to know someone, and sometimes I think my small talk is a little akward. I'm really blunt and have a very sarcastic sense of humor, and I think people take offence to that, although I never outwardly say anything to hurt someone's feelings. I'm just a weird girl but my question is, aside from the fact of putting yourself put there, which I have no problem in doing, do men, or even women become less interested in you if you don't have much to say?
dasein Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 A woman who doesn't talk much? come right over yesterday, sweetie pie! Being introverted leads to less control of social situations, yes. In lots of scenarios, the proactive person will attain the results they are seeking before the more passive person does. But there is a difference between being introverted and not talking much. IRL I don't talk much but am far from introverted. The first thing to reflect on then is whether you are a person who simply prefers to listen more and talk sparingly despite being proactive in other areas of life? or a person who doesn't talk much as a function of being introverted or even avoidant? Do you like being around others? parties? big dinners sitting around a table? Or are you someone who prefers smaller groups? one on one? or your own company? So IMO there's more to think on than merely whether you talk lots or not in the process of reflecting on possible social life effects of not talking too much.
thatone Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I'm not the biggest talker on the planet. I don't usually speak up unless I feel really strongly about a subject. I don't usually do small talk unless it's to get to know someone, and sometimes I think my small talk is a little akward. I'm really blunt and have a very sarcastic sense of humor, and I think people take offence to that, although I never outwardly say anything to hurt someone's feelings. I'm just a weird girl but my question is, aside from the fact of putting yourself put there, which I have no problem in doing, do men, or even women become less interested in you if you don't have much to say? these are skills you can learn. lack of communication skill is not a personality trait, in my opinion, it's a learned behavior. and one that can be easily overcome. i've posted this on this forum before but you can work on these skills. talk to random people. not men you're interested in, there's no need. talk to families at the grocery store about their kids. talk to old ladies about the weather. talk to waiters and waitresses about their jobs. eventually you learn how.
mike88 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 It depends if you're quiet because you lack confidence or because you're naturally introverted. In my teens I was both and didn't even kiss a girl until I was 19. I was terrified of talking to girls and even if a girl was instigating everything (from flirting to trying to make out with me) I was terrified of doing anything in return. These days I'm still introverted but because I've accepted who I am and forced myself to socialise more, now I'm actually pretty confident when it comes to meeting people. It's a cliche but you just have to learn to love yourself and strike a balance so you're not so introverted you never socialise. If you're anything like me you like to keep your social circle fairly small, which can be a problem when it comes to meeting new people... however I've found being introverted can actually be an advantage when it comes to dating. If you spend your free time reading, thinking and learning knew things when you do meet someone you have a lot of varied/interesting things talk about and I guess you seem a little different to the norm which can be a turn on for some people.
thatone Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 It depends if you're quiet because you lack confidence or because you're naturally introverted. In my teens I was both and didn't even kiss a girl until I was 19. I was terrified of talking to girls and even if a girl was instigating everything (from flirting to trying to make out with me) I was terrified of doing anything in return. These days I'm still introverted but because I've accepted who I am and forced myself to socialise more, now I'm actually pretty confident when it comes to meeting people. It's a cliche but you just have to learn to love yourself and strike a balance so you're not so introverted you never socialise. If you're anything like me you like to keep your social circle fairly small, which can be a problem when it comes to meeting new people... however I've found being introverted can actually be an advantage when it comes to dating. If you spend your free time reading, thinking and learning knew things when you do meet someone you have a lot of varied/interesting things talk about and I guess you seem a little different to the norm which can be a turn on for some people. pretty much spot on.
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