Author LondonS Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 Yes, a healthy, happy, confident, stable, ATTRACTIVE woman has a great chance of landing a relationship. A healthy, happy, confident, stable, ugly woman just has a chance of being accepting of her life alone. You call it negative, I call it realistic. Looks matter, and we should stop pretending they don't. It does nothing but encourage delusions. I think being healthy, happy, confident and stable makes a woman ATTRACTIVE ! honestly, please work on your mindset, atleast try !
verhrzn Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I think being healthy, happy, confident and stable makes a woman ATTRACTIVE ! honestly, please work on your mindset, atleast try ! I have tried. The only thing that would apparently fix my brain is a bullet in it. 1
Els Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I have tried. The only thing that would apparently fix my brain is a bullet in it. .... I worry about you, V. 1
Author LondonS Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 I have tried. The only thing that would apparently fix my brain is a bullet in it. I can assure you I have two friends who are 5'3ish tall, have acne but just a very jolly personality. One is dating this tall russian guy and another is in a relationship with a guy way better looking than her so to speak....A lot of it is in our attitude as well... fine being born with Angelina Jolie's looks isnt down to us but getting a super quality job, dressing to flatter our shape, going to gym, having nice hair cut, smelling divine, being social, funny and generally approachable is something in our control....
verhrzn Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I can assure you I have two friends who are 5'3ish tall, have acne but just a very jolly personality. One is dating this tall russian guy and another is in a relationship with a guy way better looking than her so to speak....A lot of it is in our attitude as well... fine being born with Angelina Jolie's looks isnt down to us but getting a super quality job, dressing to flatter our shape, going to gym, having nice hair cut, smelling divine, being social, funny and generally approachable is something in our control.... Unless you've, ya know, tried all those things and still failed. I also know some people who won a small lottery. Does that mean we're all going to win if we buy tickets? No, just that they got lucky. 1
Author LondonS Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 Unless you've, ya know, tried all those things and still failed. I also know some people who won a small lottery. Does that mean we're all going to win if we buy tickets? No, just that they got lucky. we all fail...I came out from Oxford, work for a very well known investment Bank,....I earn a 6 figure salary in £'s. Look good too so I am told, yet a couple of times it happened that the guys I really wanted to date, rejected me ! I was upset but than I moved on and today I am sooo glad I didnt date them
threebyfate Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Unless you've, ya know, tried all those things and still failed. I also know some people who won a small lottery. Does that mean we're all going to win if we buy tickets? No, just that they got lucky.This is getting worse. Go get some professional help. I mean it and not unkindly. There are very few trained psychiatric professionals on LS of which some aren't interested in helping others. We're not qualified to really help you and enabling your body dysmorph would be worse. 2
musemaj11 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 ...and that's.....bad? In a world where if you don't have money, you don't have anything, I wouldn't say looking for a man with money is a bad thing. These days you need pay to put AIR in your tires for christ's sake. Ever wonder why there are so many more golddiggers than there are women who don't care about money? It's the world we live in. And in this world, a man without money isn't very high on a woman's list. Like another poster mentioned, women are making more money these days, so they don't want to downgrade. If a woman can make more than a man in a "man's world" then you can only imagine how a man looks if he makes less than she does... I know that. Thats why I have always been saying love doesnt exist. Women are simply goods with a pricetag. If you have the money, you will have it. No need to invest emotion.
Author LondonS Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 Unless you've, ya know, tried all those things and still failed. I also know some people who won a small lottery. Does that mean we're all going to win if we buy tickets? No, just that they got lucky. Also, let me tell you that I am single right now becuse man I have been dating on/off is just being....well on/off, will I stop living my life and be miserable about it? well no....although its deeply hurting me ! we allll fail - atleast accept that fact that everyone fails even the most brilliant or the hottest ones ( as hotness seems more imprtant to you) !
kaylan Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Mostly it seems men are obessed with the looks of women then the other way around. Women care about looks just as much as dudes from my experience. The only people who complain about the physical looks discussions, are those who dislike the idea of being turned down because of it. Physical attraction matters a lot...and so does mental and emotional compatibility. Get over it people. Maybe you didn't GET the memo that more women have been graduating from college than MEN (in the US, that is). That would more than likely mean the chances of women dating or marrying DOWN financially are becoming higher. Get a clue. Even with degrees women are more likely to choose lower paying professions. So there really isnt that many men dating down financially. 1
FrustratedStandards Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I know that. Thats why I have always been saying love doesnt exist. Women are simply goods with a pricetag. If you have the money, you will have it. No need to invest emotion. Unfortunately I agree with you. This is what the world has come too, and it's sad. I confess myself that I don't want a poor man, and by poor I mean in comparison to myself. But society is like this. If in this world we lived like that tribe in Papua New Guinea (the last remaining "untouched" tribe in the world) then no one would care about these things. Over there, money doesn't exist, religion doesn't exist. They know how to just be. Imagine how beautiful life would be? You live day by day, and human interaction isn't distorted by computers, clothing or whether or not you buy a girl a drink. *sigh* I wish I wasn't conditioned by all these things. Maybe then I would be happily in a relationship by now... 1
FrustratedStandards Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Even with degrees women are more likely to choose lower paying professions. Oh yeah? Source please.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 until the sun burns out and our eyes evolve away, visual attractiveness will always be a major factor. Taste, smell, sound, and FEEL also play into it. DARN THESE DASTARDLY SENSES!!!! It's not the fact that visual attractiveness plays into it. I would hope that a man that was with me, would be attracted to me. It's social standards that men absorb, then reflect onto who women have to be visually to be "up to par" with what they desire. There is a huge difference between visual attractiveness vs standards set about what visual attractiveness means in today's culture. The obession with big breasts, thinness, youngness...this is not about truly appreciating and valuing who women are and what femininity looks like. Not even for thsoe women that are thin, young and with big breasts. They just become a market product. Not someone who is truly valued for their beauty. And the obession that many men here that start rather attacking threads about what women's bodies fail to be compared to the visual images they've seen in movies, magazines, porn..and the likes of that, since they were children, is really close immature, self indulgent and mean spirited.
zengirl Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 (edited) The only people who complain about the physical looks discussions, are those who dislike the idea of being turned down because of it. Untrue. When I was single, one of my biggest fears was being like too much or solely FOR my looks. The theory that everyone who finds things superficial or dislikes the way people express their superficiality is just afraid of being shot down for those qualities is a myth, both in my personal experience and in what I've observed. I know many hot girls and even some really attractive men who very much get tired of being judged by the external, day after day. One of my friends who's fairly handsome and really tall (when he was on OKC, he was the tallest white guy on OKC in our area) gets really sick of women liking him because he's so tall, etc. He hates the superficial "advantage" he gets because he thinks that it's a superficial fixation that is problematic. I would say the majority of attractive people, especially those who developed their looks purposefully (via extensive exercise, cosmetic enhancement or surgery, etc), might feel they benefit from superficiality, but I certainly wouldn't say ALL do. Superficiality even hurts people who have the qualities sought, IME. Just as many people don't want to be desired for their money, many people don't want to be desired for their looks. Edited May 8, 2012 by zengirl 1
Els Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Women care about looks just as much as dudes from my experience. The only people who complain about the physical looks discussions, are those who dislike the idea of being turned down because of it. Physical attraction matters a lot...and so does mental and emotional compatibility. Well, I'm not sure about the people you mix with, but the majority of men AND women whom I know of, are not as superficial as some people on LS make themselves out to be. Most of the 'issues' here that we keep hearing of, I don't see IRL, actually. I know plenty of 'average-looking' women in relationships, as well as 'average-looking' men in them. Some of them are very happy and aren't just 'hanging around in hopes of better'. They genuinely love their partner. That's what it's supposed to be about. I can assure you that not everyone who dislikes superficiality, dislikes it because they don't want to be turned down because of it. Is it so inconceivable that some people genuinely dislike it for its own sake and feel they would not be compatible with someone who has mostly physical requirements? For example, I'm in my 20s, and my only feeling for 30-40 year old men who persistently ignore women close to their own age in favour of only chasing women 5+ years younger, is... bemusement, and yes, dislike. It doesn't matter that I'm on the receiving end of those superficial preferences. I just find them disdainful, and I'd never go out with someone like that. 2
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Every thread is talking about looks, attractiveness ratings, hotness scales...for heavens sake folks!!! get real ! I am on the verge of stopping reading this forum ! Its just obsurd - we see couples of all sorts, levels of attractiveness and what not in real life....just get intouch with reality please ! Finding a relationship requires a lot more than just looks....or a healthy relationship atleast Yes. And look! This thread, too, has turned into one about looks. Not about your topic, but about what people actually look like, or think they themselves look like. This trend here - it's sick. Certainly, people have to be attracted to other people in order to get started, dating. Nobody seems to even comprehend the mysteries of what draws people together. But picking apart people's physical attributes, the whole 1 - 10 thing having so much weight here, the ingrained belief that so many posters seem to have that a certain level of "hotness" either in themselves or in their mate will guarantee a happy love life, is just false, and sick. As is the refusal to even look objectively at how false and sick it is. I have NEVER known people like this irl, and I have been alive a long time and worked in environments where physical bodies were profoundly important (like as a dancer). Sure, our cultures feed us beautiful people and bodies day in and day out. Why are you all eating it up like this? 3
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Every thread is talking about looks, attractiveness ratings, hotness scales...for heavens sake folks!!! get real ! I am on the verge of stopping reading this forum ! Its just obsurd - we see couples of all sorts, levels of attractiveness and what not in real life....just get intouch with reality please ! Finding a relationship requires a lot more than just looks....or a healthy relationship atleast The forum goes through cycles. One of the last times I was here a year ago they were obsessed with OLD. Quite a few threads were devoted to pof or okcupid.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I can assure you that not everyone who dislikes superficiality, dislikes it because they don't want to be turned down because of it. Is it so inconceivable that some people genuinely dislike it for its own sake and feel they would not be compatible with someone who has mostly physical requirements?. No kidding. And plenty of beautiful women are just as turned off by being assessed and selected because of physical attributes alone as not-beautiful ones are sick of not being selected because of looks. Also I think that a preoccupation and obsession with how one looks is just as superficial and almost narcissistic (not as in NPD, but as in the myth of Narcissus who could not stop looking at himself) whether the person is focussed on being "ugly" or "beautiful." It's just a waste of time. This is coming from a very vain person. But I can't come close to the obsession with looks that you folks seem perfectly comfortable with. The saddest part is that ALL of you who show this have SO MUCH you need to look at that you will not look at, because you are either focussed on what you look like or what other people look like. :sick: 2
kaylan Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 (edited) Oh yeah? Source please. I knew someone like you would bite on this...tbh, I thought most people who went to college took notice of just how many more man there were in majors that typical earned more, while there were more women in majors that earned less. Check these links out, and if you want more Ill be glad to provide. MSN Careers - 25 best-paying jobs for women - Career Advice Article Jobs In Nursing And Teaching: Why Do Women Choose To Earn Less? | The Latest | LearnVest - Where life gets richer Also, if you care to do a little googling yourself, try this; Look up the average salary for teachers, social workers, the arts, secretaries, nurses, etc. Then look at the high percentage of women in these positions. Part of the reason there are less men in some fields is because many guys feel the societal push to earn a lot of money....and also because many dudes dont want to do something that is considered "womens work" Edited May 8, 2012 by kaylan
Els Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I think a bigger reason is that some people still adhere to the traditional dogma of childcare being primarily the woman's domain. Thus, women are far more likely to be the ones scaling down on their career pursuits, or choosing a career that is less demanding, so that they will be able to spend time at home. When I was choosing my career path, many people, including my own mother and relatives, advised me that a woman should choose one that gives her leeway to spend more time at home when a family comes along. I didn't buy any of that, though.
Author LondonS Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 Yes. And look! This thread, too, has turned into one about looks. Not about your topic, but about what people actually look like, or think they themselves look like. This trend here - it's sick. Certainly, people have to be attracted to other people in order to get started, dating. Nobody seems to even comprehend the mysteries of what draws people together. But picking apart people's physical attributes, the whole 1 - 10 thing having so much weight here, the ingrained belief that so many posters seem to have that a certain level of "hotness" either in themselves or in their mate will guarantee a happy love life, is just false, and sick. As is the refusal to even look objectively at how false and sick it is. I have NEVER known people like this irl, and I have been alive a long time and worked in environments where physical bodies were profoundly important (like as a dancer). Sure, our cultures feed us beautiful people and bodies day in and day out. Why are you all eating it up like this? every single thread is full of replies with women bashing themselves up for not having megan fox like frame....men posting pictures of ideal ass's....I think people on this forum ( well most) dont really have a real social circle because in real life, I see all sorts of couples and by no means both are always are at the same attractiveness level ( if there is such a thing) Ge.... I myself have dated 6'4 to 5'8 guys, I am 5,7 and make more than all those men before someone tells me if was for their money....reading these type of forums should provide help to people instead of cultivating further insecurities in them... ( pls excuse typos, rushing in) 1
zengirl Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Look up the average salary for teachers, social workers, the arts, secretaries, nurses, etc. Then look at the high percentage of women in these positions. Part of the reason there are less men in some fields is because many guys feel the societal push to earn a lot of money....and also because many dudes dont want to do something that is considered "womens work" Well, there are a number of other societal questions to ask, such as: But are those jobs lower paid BECAUSE they are traditionally woman's work? As well as taking an international view and asking does our country undervalue and underpay those professions? After all, while America pays teachers and nurses much less than many other fields, that's not true in every country. I do think FS may be from Canada (I thought she said that once) and teachers can earn much better money there, for instance. But that's all a bit OT perhaps for this thread, which is about how people fixate on superficial values, such as money or hotness. Though I guess you could say our country has a superficial view in terms of ranking professions as well.
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I knew someone like you would bite on this...tbh, I thought most people who went to college took notice of just how many more man there were in majors that typical earned more, while there were more women in majors that earned less. Check these links out, and if you want more Ill be glad to provide. MSN Careers - 25 best-paying jobs for women - Career Advice Article Jobs In Nursing And Teaching: Why Do Women Choose To Earn Less? | The Latest | LearnVest - Where life gets richer Also, if you care to do a little googling yourself, try this; Look up the average salary for teachers, social workers, the arts, secretaries, nurses, etc. Then look at the high percentage of women in these positions. Part of the reason there are less men in some fields is because many guys feel the societal push to earn a lot of money....and also because many dudes dont want to do something that is considered "womens work" I think it has more to do with those fields being primarily socially oriented while males tend toward more heavily goal oriented pursuits.
Author LondonS Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 I knew someone like you would bite on this...tbh, I thought most people who went to college took notice of just how many more man there were in majors that typical earned more, while there were more women in majors that earned less. Check these links out, and if you want more Ill be glad to provide. MSN Careers - 25 best-paying jobs for women - Career Advice Article Jobs In Nursing And Teaching: Why Do Women Choose To Earn Less? | The Latest | LearnVest - Where life gets richer Also, if you care to do a little googling yourself, try this; Look up the average salary for teachers, social workers, the arts, secretaries, nurses, etc. Then look at the high percentage of women in these positions. Part of the reason there are less men in some fields is because many guys feel the societal push to earn a lot of money....and also because many dudes dont want to do something that is considered "womens work" I'd probably not take MSN Careers as a best source...A pharmacist making more than a lawyer and CEO....REALLY??? very poor stats I think !!
Els Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I'd probably not take MSN Careers as a best source...A pharmacist making more than a lawyer and CEO....REALLY??? very poor stats I think !! Also, interestingly, more than 60% of pharmacists where I come from are women.
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