LondonS Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Every thread is talking about looks, attractiveness ratings, hotness scales...for heavens sake folks!!! get real ! I am on the verge of stopping reading this forum ! Its just obsurd - we see couples of all sorts, levels of attractiveness and what not in real life....just get intouch with reality please ! Finding a relationship requires a lot more than just looks....or a healthy relationship atleast 4
ThaWholigan Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 For what it is worth, I don't think people should date others whom they do not find attractive. It will probably not work in the long run, and both parties will be unhappy. HOWEVER...... It does take more to find and have a relationship. It does matter, but it's one little figment. And personally I am of the belief that not everybody finds the same things attractive, and some don't even measure attractiveness physically at all. Beauty is surely in the eye of the beholder. I tend not to use ratings or levels or anything like that. People like what they like. 2
dasein Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I don't see such an emphasis on looks here. Physical looks are a relatively small subset of issues posted about on this subforum. What % of "looks" threads would you expect there to be reasonably on a dating forum? There are plenty of looks issues here, but compared to elsewhere, I don't find LS to be a particularly looks obsessed place.
Author LondonS Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 For what it is worth, I don't think people should date others whom they do not find attractive. It will probably not work in the long run, and both parties will be unhappy. HOWEVER...... It does take more to find and have a relationship. It does matter, but it's one little figment. And personally I am of the belief that not everybody finds the same things attractive, and some don't even measure attractiveness physically at all. Beauty is surely in the eye of the beholder. I tend not to use ratings or levels or anything like that. People like what they like. yes agreed and we all know beauty is in the eye of beholder & the other good stuff yet, its beyond real on this forum, people are obsessed with slim/fat...hot/not discussion....over and over! and oh those gross attractiveness scales and ratings....
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Mostly it seems men are obessed with the looks of women then the other way around. 1
musemaj11 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Mostly it seems men are obessed with the looks of women then the other way around. While women on the other hand are more obsessed with money.
wwwjd Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 until the sun burns out and our eyes evolve away, visual attractiveness will always be a major factor. Taste, smell, sound, and FEEL also play into it. DARN THESE DASTARDLY SENSES!!!! 2
Author LondonS Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 While women on the other hand are more obsessed with money. Please lets not make this another Gender war...General feel is, people are single, struggling to find relationship and on a high horse of some "attractiveness scales" etc....its unreal.... I am not saying looks should be fully discounted but lots of other things matter....
OhHey Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 If you mean people giving advice here put an emphasis strictly on having to be hot or look good, I don't see it. It sucks, but it is a fact that has to be realized and not pondered over. We've all seen it the hot girl gets all the attention in the room from men and the girl with the little bigger butt gets no attention. That hot girl can date any guy in that room while the bigger butt girl cannot....but....she can if she puts in more effort and throws away the guys that see her strictly in the way of looks. Same advice goes for the men who have a little trouble in the looks department on here.
Author LondonS Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 If you mean people giving advice here put an emphasis strictly on having to be hot or look good, I don't see it. It sucks, but it is a fact that has to be realized and not pondered over. We've all seen it the hot girl gets all the attention in the room from men and the girl with the little bigger butt gets no attention. That hot girl can date any guy in that room while the bigger butt girl cannot....but....she can if she puts in more effort and throws away the guys that see her strictly in the way of looks. Same advice goes for the men who have a little trouble in the looks department on here. your post is an example itself ....
Author LondonS Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 Maybe you didn't GET the memo that more women have been graduating from college than MEN (in the US, that is). That would more than likely mean the chances of women dating or marrying DOWN financially are becoming higher. Get a clue. 100% in agreement with this poster.
musemaj11 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Maybe you didn't GET the memo that more women have been graduating from college than MEN (in the US, that is). That would more than likely mean the chances of women dating or marrying DOWN financially are becoming higher. Get a clue. How does that disprove my argument? I like bacon. If I lived in a Muslim country, that would mean the chances of me not finding pork would be higher. So if I ate chicken instead because I couldnt find pork, it means I dont like bacon? NO. Read a book.
Author LondonS Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 How does that disprove my argument? I like bacon. If I lived in a Muslim country, that would mean the chances of me not finding pork would be higher. So if I ate chicken instead because I couldnt find pork, it means I dont like bacon? NO. Read a book. and you are using this analogy in your love life...wow 2
OhHey Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 your post is an example itself .... I meant to say that was what I see on LS, telling people you can do well in a relationship without being hot. Could of swore I wrote that in there....oops. I never really see anything on having to be hot and attractive as the main thing in a relationship on LS like you suggest
FrustratedStandards Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 We all know that. The only reason we are emphasizing on looks is because that's how much they are lacking! If everyone was hot, then we would emphasize on intelligence or personality, but that's usually not the issue...
SarahRose Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I have to agree but really what did we expect when our society has turned into a disposable one with a heavy brainwashing from media and marketing to tell us what we should like and to make us feel bad and insecure if we don't have it. I would imagine that if people turned off the tv and stopped looking at manipulated photos on the web, they would find more people to be attractive. This need to have a perfect 10 plus someone is just playing on our own insecurities in that having this perfect person, this expensive car, this designer handbag, etc. is going to make us a better person. These things make us look better to the other brain washed people around us. We are all just pawns to marketing. That is all. 1
Author LondonS Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 We all know that. The only reason we are emphasizing on looks is because that's how much they are lacking! If everyone was hot, then we would emphasize on intelligence or personality, but that's usually not the issue... Hence "frustratedstandards" ? Are you saying people with balanced personalities, stable careers etc are in abundance? just the "hot looks" are a diminishing trait? 1
FrustratedStandards Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 While women on the other hand are more obsessed with money. ...and that's.....bad? In a world where if you don't have money, you don't have anything, I wouldn't say looking for a man with money is a bad thing. These days you need pay to put AIR in your tires for christ's sake. Ever wonder why there are so many more golddiggers than there are women who don't care about money? It's the world we live in. And in this world, a man without money isn't very high on a woman's list. Like another poster mentioned, women are making more money these days, so they don't want to downgrade. If a woman can make more than a man in a "man's world" then you can only imagine how a man looks if he makes less than she does... 1
FrustratedStandards Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Hence "frustratedstandards" ? Are you saying people with balanced personalities, stable careers etc are in abundance? just the "hot looks" are a diminishing trait? Unfortunately thats exactly what i'm saying. For me the problem has never been finding a decent or even great man, it's been finding one that's also attractive and good looking. I've given them a shot (my last relationship) and I wasn't attracted. This man was perfect and absolutely an incredible human being, but the attraction never grew and we ended up breaking up anyways. From that experience I learned that no, it doesn't grow. And if you're not attracted to begin with, there's not much you can do. 1
Author LondonS Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 Unfortunately thats exactly what i'm saying. For me the problem has never been finding a decent or even great man, it's been finding one that's also attractive and good looking. I've given them a shot (my last relationship) and I wasn't attracted. This man was perfect and absolutely an incredible human being, but the attraction never grew and we ended up breaking up anyways. From that experience I learned that no, it doesn't grow. And if you're not attracted to begin with, there's not much you can do. atleast you are not insecure about your own looks so thats a good start...you will find someone who you are attracted to!!
verhrzn Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 What should there be an emphasis on instead? Looks are what leads to a relationship, particularly if you're a woman. Don't have that... SOL. 1
FrustratedStandards Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 atleast you are not insecure about your own looks so thats a good start...you will find someone who you are attracted to!! I really appreciate these words Thank you LondonS!
Author LondonS Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 What should there be an emphasis on instead? Looks are what leads to a relationship, particularly if you're a woman. Don't have that... SOL. I think a healthy, happy, confident and stable woman is perfectly capable of landing herself a good relationship....You come accross very negative in a few posts I read! That'll send any man running for starters...sorry thats just an honest observation! Try changing attitude a bit...
Author LondonS Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 I really appreciate these words Thank you LondonS! It was just refreshing to see a woman stood up saying well I have no problem finding a relationship and decent man, I just wasnt attracted to him...thats like 70% problem solved. You'll be there in next attempt.
verhrzn Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I think a healthy, happy, confident and stable woman is perfectly capable of landing herself a good relationship....You come accross very negative in a few posts I read! That'll send any man running for starters...sorry thats just an honest observation! Try changing attitude a bit... Yes, a healthy, happy, confident, stable, ATTRACTIVE woman has a great chance of landing a relationship. A healthy, happy, confident, stable, ugly woman just has a chance of being accepting of her life alone. You call it negative, I call it realistic. Looks matter, and we should stop pretending they don't. It does nothing but encourage delusions. 1
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