Coffee20 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 If you remember I posted 7 days ago the I broke NC. After this he kept contacting me......we met today and it was so harsh.....he told me it was all my fault (didn't even agree that it could be half to half), he told me how bad person I am.....and with his calm voice told me that he thinks he is a very good and kind guy.....after that we met his ex, he started to talk to her (at the beginning I listened carefully but after he told again a few lies, what he did and where he was I stopped listening), he was laughing with her and was interested in her things (actually he was never really interested in mine) and they left me out. I am never ever going to break NC anymore, I also think about deleting him from my fb, because he will never do it. I also can't understand why he kept contacting me and wanted to see me.....he just wants to see me suffering I guess. I finally can be satisfied, I saw him, he looked better than before, was at a lot of parties, met a lot of new girls, he didn't bother to tell me with a smile on his face, I think I got what I needed.
Philosoraptor Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Wasn't it nice of him to try and throw you around? Seems like he is the big loser in this one.
Own Worst Enemy Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 He sounds like a total douche, collecting his exes in one place. Urgh! You are well off out of that bear trap
geegirl Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 This is probably what you needed to toss this loser aside, Coffee. Sometimes people will stoop to all sorts of levels to break you down so that they can feel good about themselves. You must delete him from your Facebook because any link to him will feed your attachment. Remove him completely from your life. Don't beat yourself up about breaking NC. Sometimes breaking it is the only way to realize what a gift it is. The pain of NC should be, at some point far more tolerable than the pain of being insulted and humiliated by this P.O.S. 1
Chi townD Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Immature Jackhole. Girl, you stated that you got what you needed. The only thing I see is that this set you back. You need to stay away from this douche rocket and make improvements to yourself. Get your revenge and lead a damn good life.
Author Coffee20 Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 god this is so insane, when he was with me he almost didn't post anything about our relationship (I had the whole folder full of pics with us), now when I am looking on his facebook it's full of sh*t, he probably writes about everything he has done since we broke up, he exaggerates every sentence (it was the best day in my life, I was partying like I have never done, this was my best day in my life with my friends etc....) I signed off his posts so I was able not to look and I thought he wasn't this kind of person to write about everything.....but today when he told me I was just curious and it hurts as hell, it was probably also meant for me. I don't know why, today I just waited that he will come and tell me something like "I am sorry that it had to end like that, it was my fault same as yours" or "The reason I wanted to talk to you is that I felt good with you and maybe we could be friends later....." or "I just want to apologize for acting like that...." or anything what would make him look like a man in my eyes. I really really wanted to hear some kind of this sentence.....and also today when he was blaming me and I was crying then all of the sudden told me: "hey do you want an ice-cream, I will buy it for you..." and I know why he told me this....because it was our second date and he INVITED ME to a pub, told me "I would like to invite you....you can choose what you want..." I chose cola and then he was like "choose something more", well I didn't....then he let me pay for my cola. I didn't blame him, though I felt a little bit stupid and later when he told me he would never ever let a girl pay I reminded. This was not that big deal and still we almost always paid for each other in this relationship and I can say and especially at the beginning it was me who paid for the whole bill cause I just wanted to make him feel well. But today this was so rude to remind. And this just came from my mind....last year I was very ill, I don't like doctors so I waited very long to go there. When I went there I had very very high temperature, it was also hard for me to breather, swallow or just walk, my bones, stomach, head were in big pain. I was infected with an illness from "intimate contact" hey I had to lay in my bed for almost 2 months. I just told him that I was infected and he should go to the doctor and let him check.Well he went there and yes he had it too, but his progress wasn't that harsh and he probably had it before me. I haven't had any intimate contact with anyone else since 2008. I don't kiss or anything like this just for fun. I am very strict with hygiene. And of course he blamed me for this....since that he went to the doctors million times to let him check again and again because he always thought he was constantly ill and of course he was all right. And I again remember when I had hard times in bed, he didn't call or write any supportive message and didn't ask how I felt, even if I pleased to call me or call him, he just didn't pick up.
geegirl Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 This guy sounds sadistic. Relishes seeing you in pain and inflicting emotional and mental pain on you. It's unfathomable when people behave this way and we're left confused wondering why? Things you cannot control. I know you're going to question it but you'll never find the answers. Best thing to do is delete him from Facebook, remind yourself of who he actually is and take those rose tinted glasses off and do whatever it takes to avoid him and move on. Trust me, you won't be the first nor the last. He will do this to others, especially those that he knows he can manipulate. You dodged a bullet. You can't see that now but you will soon. I hope you are feeling better and you've recovered from what ailed you. Please be careful in the future when you choose to be intimate and those that you choose to be intimate with. Not everyone is careful and concerned about well-being.
darkmoon Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 he is not the ony man in the world, i would move swiftly on
fucpcg Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 RUN from anyone who says "I got everything right, you got everything wrong". My ex told me that, and while I can say she was the best girlfriend I ever had in my life, there was also plenty of times she was the worst girlfriend I ever had in my life. I was always willing to work past her issues, and I did. When she perceived that I was not doing as good a job as she was, in her head somehow she couldn't remember the nightmarish things she put me thru. I've got two words: Seriously? AND Whatever. 1
Report This User Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Im sorry on your situation.. He dosnt love you (or hes trying to make you jelous to see if you care?) either way, its over.. forget about the past.. this is history. Stay single until the right man steps into your life and try to learn from mistakes.
Author Coffee20 Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 so I finally deleted him, after yesterday, after what he told me, I had the urge to write him last message so I did, I wrote him that I expected at least an apologize, so maybe we could be friends later, that he was so cold and I couldn't believe he told me how kind he was and that everything was my fault. I feel now pretty hurt, I almost don't have any nice memories. I can't sit down and tell myself, I had bad relationship but sometimes it was nice, my bf taught me and showed me... my bf didn't want to do things with me, although I wanted to try everything he liked, he completely avoided me. I had to agree he took me for 4 trips around our city and yes he really tutored me after my pleading, cause he promised. But I took him also for a few trips, I took him to 2 balls, to the theatre but it was so damn hard to force him to do it, he always seemed to me so lazy and uninterested. Of course later he always reminded me that he took me for those trips and tutored me and that I should be very thankful. I don't have almost any nice sexual memories, cause after we slept with each other a few times he didn't want it. I almost didn't care of my school, cause when we fought I just didn't go there and come to his place to say sorry a lot of times and of course he never did, now I don't know what to do....I just messed up the whole summer holiday, cause he promised me we will do things together, firstly he told me we will do it in July and told me to make time for him, so I decided not to go to England as au-pair cause I wanted to be with him, I told my mum I am not sure whether I will go with her, same to my friends. Then he told me it will be probably in September cause in July he has different programme. Then he told me maybe in September he will have different program etc etc. today I also feel so guilty and really confused
geegirl Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Coffee, it's good that you mustered the determination to delete him. But now, you must find it in you to stop sending communication expecting apologies. You cannot expect an apology from anyone. If it has to be forced, then it's not sincere. Expecting an apology from someone that has time and time again consciously and knowingly treated you badly is futile. You need an apology to validate that he cares. He doesn't and you know this. And why would you want to be friends with such a person. Friends are an important source of support in your life. You choose them wisely. It's best to have quality rather than quantity, first of all. What does he add to your life? Nothing. Look at the long list of negatives that he's done to you. You consider people like that substance in your life? Using "friends" as a way to still have him in your life is you still not being able to grasp the fact that he truly isn't worth the muck of your shoe. See him for who he is and not what you idealize him to be.
Author Coffee20 Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 thank you all for your answers! it's just so weird for me to see how fast he moved on, but I should realize that he has been long time over me and maybe he wasn't even in love with me....it feels so strange
Chacha8 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 This guy sounds like a complete jerk. Don't beat yourself up for breaking NC, but thank goodness you are done with this tool for good. He sounds like a cruel person and not deserving of your time. Sorry you had to deal with that, and I hope it gets better for you. 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 thank you all for your answers! it's just so weird for me to see how fast he moved on, but I should realize that he has been long time over me and maybe he wasn't even in love with me....it feels so strange they move on whilst with us, using us for a crutch so they are not alone/lonely while searching for a replacement. They drop us like a hot tater when someone else comes along....unlessssss...that person has been seeing that other someone all along. People like that tend to have that pattern. 1
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