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Am I shallow?

somedude81

By somedude81
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GardenDiva Established Member

GardenDiva

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Having only read the very first post, no I don't think you're shallow. Sheesh, are we not allowed to have personal physical preferences anymore without being called "shallow?" Must we always be so "PC?"

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Els Established Member

Els

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First, I don't think anything is wrong with the above post. Again, we're all entitled to our physical preferences.

 

Second, I would identify popular female LS posters who basically post just that, but I'd probably get an infraction. Rarely are those women LSers called shallow. Instead, they're called unrealistic, or hypocrites.

 

Finally, SD may be a hypocrite, but I'm not seeing how he's shallow.

 

I don't see how SD would be any happier with being called a hypocrite instead, or that he would deny the term less. FWIW, I do agree that this is the major issue, too. I think many of the others (zengirl, Mme Chaucer, etc) have been saying this all along. :p

 

I think 'shallow' has gotten a bad rep, honestly - some people immediately associate it with being a bad thing. Which is why I prefer the term 'superficial requirements'. Which are simply facts. Anything that is not related to a person's personality is 'superficial' - it resides on the outside. Height, breast size, face, weight, money, career, hair. There is nothing wrong with having 'superficial requirements' - we all have them to a degree.

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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I have a good friend who always describes herself as "inch deep, mile wide." :D

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Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I don't see how SD would be any happier with being called a hypocrite instead, or that he would deny the term less.

 

Why don't you let him say so for himself? I haven't seen him take issue with or deny any accusations of hypocrisy.

 

We all have our hypocritical moments.

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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I still have no clue why SD started this thread. Clearly lots of folks here DO think he is shallow, but he doesn't want to hear anything that we have to say. I wouldn't either. But then I would not have started a thread asking for it.

 

Whether you are shallow or not, SD, hardly matters a bit. Just keep doing what you're doing, maintain the same point of view, never change. And your life will never change. Shallow or not makes no difference.

Els Established Member

Els

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Why don't you let him say so for himself? I haven't seen him take issue with or deny any accusations of hypocrisy.

 

We all have our hypocritical moments.

 

Did you not see the pages of arguments he had with zengirl about that? :confused:

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Did you not see the pages of arguments he had with zengirl about that? :confused:

 

For me, this thread is only 3 pages long. I have seen a few posts accusing him of hypocrisy. I have not seen his response saying something to the effect of "I am not a hypocrite." Can you direct me to his denial(s)?

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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I still have no clue why SD started this thread. Clearly lots of folks here DO think he is shallow, but he doesn't want to hear anything that we have to say. I wouldn't either. But then I would not have started a thread asking for it.

I made it because one thing people kept telling me, is that I have trouble with women because I'm shallow. Not that the conclusion makes any sense.

 

Either way, after all the posts, the general consensus is that I'm not shallow. Which I pretty much knew all along. I'm also going to ignore any further posts in other threads calling me shallow, because it's obviously not the case.

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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For me, this thread is only 3 pages long. I have seen a few posts accusing him of hypocrisy. I have not seen his response saying something to the effect of "I am not a hypocrite." Can you direct me to his denial(s)?

If I were 5'10, I'd have no problem with women preferring average height men. And of course there would be no issue with me wanting an average woman.

 

But unfortunately, I'm a short guy and feel excluded because of it. And then since I still want an average woman, that makes me a hypocrite by default.

 

I can't change my height. And I can't change what I'm attracted to.

 

Somebody shoot me please.

GardenDiva Established Member

GardenDiva

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I don't understand why you even care what other people think. You have your preferences and you're entitled to them. What business is it of any one else's? Like I said, I didn't read the thread but going by your original post, I don't see the problem.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I can't change my height. And I can't change what I'm attracted to.

 

No one can, SD. So, I'm not sure why you're the only one being accused of being shallow.

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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I don't understand why you even care what other people think. You have your preferences and you're entitled to them. What business is it of any one else's? Like I said, I didn't read the thread but going by your original post, I don't see the problem.

Because I'm looking for answers or at least trying to cross things off of the "Why I can't get a girlfriend" list.

No one can, SD. So, I'm not sure why you're the only one being accused of being shallow.

Somebody said a while ago that it's because I made an easy target, because I'm honest and good natured. I also say thing every now and then that hit the right buttons on certain people and then they have a crusade against me.

FrustratedStandards Established Member

FrustratedStandards

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People call you shallow for having preferences?

 

Welcome to the club! I know exactly how you feel somedude. In this world, people will call you shallow if you want something they can't offer, so I totally get where you''re coming from.

 

By the way, I fit into that category :D Well except that i'm 5'10.

 

We should chat ;) ahaha :p

GardenDiva Established Member

GardenDiva

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Well, maybe you can now cross "being shallow" off your list and go down the list to the next item. But I'm curious. What do YOU think is the issue. You said something about how you know how to hit the right buttons and then they have a "crusade" against you. Can you expound on that? What exactly do you mean by that? Why would anyone hold against you the fact that you can "hit the right buttons" and how exactly do you mean that?

 

Let's get to the bottom of this!:laugh:

GardenDiva Established Member

GardenDiva

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Also, if I may say one other thing as far as our expectations are concerned...shallow and unrealistic are two different things. Think about it.

udolipixie Established Member

udolipixie

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But unfortunately, I'm a short guy and feel excluded because of it. And then since I still want an average woman, that makes me a hypocrite by default.

 

I thought most were calling you a hypcorite because you found your preferences reasonable, not shallow, and wanting someone roughly equal to yourself yet stated a gal under 5'4'' who wants an average height guy is really stupid and is wanting someone better than herself.

 

To me it's hypocritical that your preference for average is reasonable, not shallow, and wanting someone roughly equal but another's preference for average is really stupid and wanting someone better.

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FrustratedStandards Established Member

FrustratedStandards

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Also, if I may say one other thing as far as our expectations are concerned...shallow and unrealistic are two different things. Think about it.

 

There is no such thing as "unrealistic". People have "unrealistic" standards only because you see them an unrealistic. Clearly if this person expects these things its because they exist. You don't see people expecting to find a partner with an extra pair of breasts, a psychic ability or being 9 feet tall.

 

No, all expectations are realistic. The only people who deem them unrealistic are those who are far from them.

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Well, maybe you can now cross "being shallow" off your list and go down the list to the next item. But I'm curious. What do YOU think is the issue. You said something about how you know how to hit the right buttons and then they have a "crusade" against you. Can you expound on that? What exactly do you mean by that? Why would anyone hold against you the fact that you can "hit the right buttons" and how exactly do you mean that?

 

Let's get to the bottom of this!:laugh:

Eh, I'm too tired to work on this now. I'll get back to you tomorrow.

Also, if I may say one other thing as far as our expectations are concerned...shallow and unrealistic are two different things. Think about it.

And I fully believe that neither applies to me.

 

BTW, your avatar freaks me out.

 

People call you shallow for having preferences?

 

Welcome to the club! I know exactly how you feel somedude. In this world, people will call you shallow if you want something they can't offer, so I totally get where you''re coming from.

I have felt that it's why some people women have really gotten on my case. It's as if they are taking my preferences personally.

 

By the way, I fit into that category :D Well except that i'm 5'10.

 

We should chat ;) ahaha :p

Damn you're tall.

 

Want to switch heights? I'll be 5'10 and you'll be 5'6. Being shorter might even make things easier for you.

GardenDiva Established Member

GardenDiva

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But the title thread is "Am I Shallow?" That's what I was responding to anyway...he didn't ask "Am I a Hypocrite?" :p

 

I think it's very shallow of you to be freaked out by my avatar..just sayin'!:laugh:

FrustratedStandards Established Member

FrustratedStandards

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Damn you're tall.

 

Want to switch heights? I'll be 5'10 and you'll be 5'6. Being shorter might even make things easier for you.

 

I would switch in a heartbeat. Being a tall woman sucks most of the time. Especially since I always wear heels. The worst part is when a man says to you "Excuse me miss? I'm sorry but could you reach that for me?"

 

Try feeling lady like then!

GardenDiva Established Member

GardenDiva

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I would switch in a heartbeat. Being a tall woman sucks most of the time. Especially since I always wear heels. The worst part is when a man says to you "Excuse me miss? I'm sorry but could you reach that for me?"

 

Try feeling lady like then!

 

But what's so unlady-like about reaching for something that a man shorter than you can't reach? I'm sorry but I don't get that. I'm of average height and would never be bothered by someone (male or female) asking me that...and it's happened.

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LittlePrince Established Member

LittlePrince

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But what's so unlady-like about reaching for something that a man shorter than you can't reach? I'm sorry but I don't get that. I'm of average height and would never be bothered by someone (male or female) asking me that...and it's happened.

I am guessing it is a small part of a larger picture of people's reactions toward her that has left her self-conscious about her height. Probably typical for taller women.

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FrustratedStandards Established Member

FrustratedStandards

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But what's so unlady-like about reaching for something that a man shorter than you can't reach? I'm sorry but I don't get that. I'm of average height and would never be bothered by someone (male or female) asking me that...and it's happened.

 

Reaching isn't the problem, it's how I feel when I am asked. I don't like feeling bigger than men, so when a man asks me to reach for something, I feel like a giant and I feel very uncomfortable. Men are supposed to be bigger than women.

 

I would imagine it's the same when a woman tells a man "oh hey, i dropped by keys between the seats, can you grab it for me? you have small hands". I'm sure a man wouldn't really feel good hearing that.

GardenDiva Established Member

GardenDiva

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Reaching isn't the problem, it's how I feel when I am asked. I don't like feeling bigger than men, so when a man asks me to reach for something, I feel like a giant and I feel very uncomfortable. Men are supposed to be bigger than women.

 

I would imagine it's the same when a woman tells a man "oh hey, i dropped by keys between the seats, can you grab it for me? you have small hands". I'm sure a man wouldn't really feel good hearing that.

 

I guess I can understand what you're saying but I'd try to be comfortable in my own skin and be confident in who you are. People pick up on that and are turned on by it.

 

Besides do you really think tall supermodels worry about their height? Some women don't think men are "supposed" to necessarily be taller than them.

Edited by GardenDiva
FrustratedStandards Established Member

FrustratedStandards

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I guess I can understand what you're saying but I'd try to be comfortable in my own skin and be confident in who you are. People pick up on that and are turned on by it.

 

I'm not insecure about it, but whenever it happens, I admit that I feel a pang of discomfort and a little bit of "oh my".

 

It's really hard being taller than most guys. Imagine needing a man of about 6'2...now add all of my high standards to that.... this combination eliminates about 90% of the world's men.

 

I used to model, and believe me being in that industry doesn't make you accept yourself more, it makes you more conscious about your looks and it makes you more insecure. Besides, supermodels have access to all the hotness and richness in the world, so unlike myself, they wouldn't have as much trouble finding men.

Edited by FrustratedStandards
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