joystickd Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 THe problem is that a lot of men do not seek out good information for and about women. Instead they go to things like porn or stupid PUA crap or lame Askmen website that do nothing but show young hot babes laying in guys laps with titles of, "how to check out other women while you are with your gf". And what happens? They perpetuate alot of bitterness, false expectations and plain wrong information instead of going to a more reliable and less automatically self gratifying source. Damn you act like askmen is exclusively a website teaching men to date. A lot more than that is up there. So what if they have articles up there about checking out women. PUA has its faults and I don't agree with 95% of the stuff but I think it encourages men to really improve at some point they realize what it really takes but people need a beginning and that is what PUA gives. I actually started out checking out David DeAngelo's stuff but later on I got on to Tariq Nasheed who is not in PUA and actually has a book about golddigging for women. I will say the ones who helped me were Tariq Nasheed, Alan Roger Currie, and David X. Let's be honest he is not going to get the truth from most women because what they say they want and what they are attracted to are two different things. Look at the confusion from guys on here that see the opposite from what they are being told to by women. I will say they are a few like Anh Vu that are honest about giving advice.
serial muse Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 (edited) Also, if it wasn't obvious, I have a problem with women my height or shorter preferring average higher men or taller, simply because that excludes me. I want a woman who is roughly my height. And I think it's stupid when those girls only want guys who are 4+ inches taller then they are. In my opinion, no woman who is 5'4 or shorter should turn me down because of my height. If a woman is 5'6 or taller, fine she's allowed to require a guy to be average height. Even though that really sucks for me. One thing this thread has done to me is make me want to talk to D, who is 5'8 and apologize to her, for me being short. I have this sick feeling that if I were taller than her, she would have been fine dating me Yeah, well, no. As I said before, but I notice you didn't respond to, I'm 5'6" and don't have a problem with height. My exH (who is not my ex because of his height) was 5'4". He is now my ex because he cheated on me with another woman who was - yep - several inches taller than him. His height sure wasn't his problem, and he was several inches shorter than you are. Your height is NOT your problem. It just isn't. I know you're going to cling to it anyway, but nope. It isn't. That is NOT why you don't have a girlfriend. It probably has more to do with the fact that you would actually consider apologizing to someone for your height. Seriously. That's exactly why. I know MANY women who are about my height and are dating/married to men who are about their heights. I'm not talking 5'10" here; I'm talking 5'6"-5'9". But I'm sure you will find some way to ignore this, too, because you're fixated. I'm counting them off here in my head as I type this. It's as I said before - you clearly prefer to focus on the things you have no control over, because railing at the world and your family heritage is much more satisfying, somehow. Well, more power to you. Edited May 9, 2012 by serial muse
zoe1983 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I really didn't want to respond to your post because I know you will just rationalize it in your head so that it fits into that small little box you insist in living in but I am going to give it a try anyways. I am 5'4 and my boyfriend is 5'5. Not that it matters, but for the record he is caucasian so obviously a man can be white and short, contrary to what you believe. Now before you say that I am simply the exception to the norm I just want you to think about something. I do normally date taller guys and I suppose if I could simply pick out the perfect guy at a store I would choose a guy that was about 6 feet tall. That being said...I met my boyfriend online and I obviously knew how tall he was when we started talking. I was a bit hesitant I will admit, but he had a great personality and was a really sweet guy so I decided to date a bit out of my comfort zone. Turns out he was an awesome guy and I was completely attracted to him. After 5 months I no longer even think about the height thing and actually I have begun to find a lot of pros to being with a shorter guy! I am so thankful that I didn't turn him down automatically just because of his height. I am not even going to argue with you on if your shallow or not but I am just saying...why don't you give a woman a chance that doesn't fit your minimum standards? You might just be surprised and even if it turns out that she isn't the right girl for you...you never know who her friends might be. Just like when you are searching for a new job, networking always helps in the dating world too!
eleanorhurting Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 (edited) i did not read what everyone said but I do think you are too strict with your requirements. You said you would not date me because my breasts are a large A cup instead of a B cup. What if it was someone great? who you were compatible with? who fit everything else? if you reject someone great because their breasts are 1 cup size smaller than the average woman then yes you are shallow Edited May 9, 2012 by eleanorhurting
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Yeah, well, no. As I said before, but I notice you didn't respond to, I'm 5'6" and don't have a problem with height. My exH (who is not my ex because of his height) was 5'4". You LIE! NOBODY goes out with men who aren't over 6 feet tall!!! He is now my ex because he cheated on me with another woman who was - yep - several inches taller than him. More LIES!!! Oh … wait. My husband is 5'8". I've told SD this in his threads a few times, but it is not of consequence. I don't think that ANYTHING outside of the tiny narrow minuscule little tunnel where SD evidently lives is of consequence. 1
Quiet Storm Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I think it has more to do with women being more image conscious and self-conscious who are using taller men to overcompensate for their lack of stature. I disagree. I am 5'2" woman and have never cared one bit about being short. Women don't have the same short complex as men because most men are attracted are short women, so we don't feel judged for our stature like many short men do. The only time I even really notice that I'm short is when I need a man to reach the top shelves. If I could make myself taller, I wouldn't. I have always preferred tall guys and my husband is almost a foot taller than me. I can't really explain the attraction, but suspect it has to do with some primal need to feel safe and protected. I understand that short men can be strong and I could've found a 5'5" Bruce Lee type to be with, but that's not the same. Most bodyguards & bouncers are big men, so even though many smaller men can offer protection if needed, a bigger man has an imposing presence. Other men are much less likely to challenge a 6'2" 250 pounder than a 5'8" 160 pounder, in my opinion. There is also a status thing that I have noticed between men. It seems that taller men often get more respect and consideration from other men. It could be my imagination, but that is what I have noticed. If other women pick up on this too, it could make shorter men seem inferior. It also seems that some short men are insecure about it, and insecurity is a turn off. It seems that taller men have it easier in many aspects of life, not just dating. It's not fair, but that's just the way it is. The way I think it could be overcompensating is because if you are a short woman, you may not want to chance that your sons will be burdened with insecurity or inferiority complexes because they inherited your shortness. I love my kids no matter what their height, but I don't want them to have a hard time. Knowing this, choosing a tall man would make it more likely that a shorter woman will have taller sons. So this is the only way I may be overcompensating for my own shortness. It's probably some primal instinct that prompts these feelings, and a short woman's preference for tall men may be them unconsciously trying to make the next generation healther & stronger. We can logically know, in this day and age, that we don't need protection, and that short men are just as healthy and strong. But that knowledge does not always negate our primal attraction, IMO. I chose what was best for me and what was most attractive to me. I don't think I should've had to consider the plight of short men when choosing my mate.
LittlePrince Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I constantly hear short women complaining about being short.
fallenenvy Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I constantly hear short women complaining about being short. Im only 4 11.. and past getting aggravated when people put the food i want on the top shelves of the cabinets..(at which point i have to drag over a stool) i don't think about it.. ever (or complain) I've even gotten used to the fact that i pretty much can't buy pants that fit me...w/e. It is what it is and i've always been really short... it has never complicated my life or dating or given me a reason to gripe. I don't want to be taller.. i like being little and petite and plenty of guys like short tiny petite girls... no reason to gripe about something you can't change anyway... and honestly i don't know any women that complain either... just saying.
Quiet Storm Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 My experience is that women are more self conscious about their body shape, or weight, than they are concerned about their height.
Author somedude81 Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 Funny, for every woman telling me that height doesn't matter, there's another that is. Either way, that's not what this thread is about. I've got the answer I asked about. Thanks everybody for participating.
SmileFace Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Funny, for every woman telling me that height doesn't matter, there's another that is. Either way, that's not what this thread is about. I've got the answer I asked about. Thanks everybody for participating. What was the answer?
Author somedude81 Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 That I'm not shallow. Which I knew all along. 1
ThaWholigan Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I disagree. I am 5'2" woman and have never cared one bit about being short. Women don't have the same short complex as men because most men are attracted are short women, so we don't feel judged for our stature like many short men do. The only time I even really notice that I'm short is when I need a man to reach the top shelves. If I could make myself taller, I wouldn't. I have always preferred tall guys and my husband is almost a foot taller than me. I can't really explain the attraction, but suspect it has to do with some primal need to feel safe and protected. I understand that short men can be strong and I could've found a 5'5" Bruce Lee type to be with, but that's not the same. Most bodyguards & bouncers are big men, so even though many smaller men can offer protection if needed, a bigger man has an imposing presence. Other men are much less likely to challenge a 6'2" 250 pounder than a 5'8" 160 pounder, in my opinion. There is also a status thing that I have noticed between men. It seems that taller men often get more respect and consideration from other men. It could be my imagination, but that is what I have noticed. If other women pick up on this too, it could make shorter men seem inferior. It also seems that some short men are insecure about it, and insecurity is a turn off. It seems that taller men have it easier in many aspects of life, not just dating. It's not fair, but that's just the way it is. The way I think it could be overcompensating is because if you are a short woman, you may not want to chance that your sons will be burdened with insecurity or inferiority complexes because they inherited your shortness. I love my kids no matter what their height, but I don't want them to have a hard time. Knowing this, choosing a tall man would make it more likely that a shorter woman will have taller sons. So this is the only way I may be overcompensating for my own shortness. It's probably some primal instinct that prompts these feelings, and a short woman's preference for tall men may be them unconsciously trying to make the next generation healther & stronger. We can logically know, in this day and age, that we don't need protection, and that short men are just as healthy and strong. But that knowledge does not always negate our primal attraction, IMO. I chose what was best for me and what was most attractive to me. I don't think I should've had to consider the plight of short men when choosing my mate. I like your posts. I wonder what your heritage is?? Having said that, I don't know how accurate some of what you're saying is, although I speculate it's probably from experiences more than anything, and I am but a young man. My mother is 5 foot 5, my father is 5 foot 9. I ended up out 6 foot 3 . My family is not a tall one, save for my biological brothers on my father's side, who are both 6 foot 1. My father's father is also quite short, about 5 foot 7 or 8 I think. My mother's father (died in 1975 - on an unrelated note, anyone who has seen the movie "The Bank Job" with Jason Statham will know who my grandfather is), was not a tall man either. I don't recall height being in my heritage at any point, yet I am extremely tall compared to the rest of my family. Also, I don't think that short guys have that much of a raw deal when it comes to women. My closest brother who I live with (different father), is 5 foot 6. His father is also about 5 foot 8. My brother is extraordinarily good with girls and women of all ages. Lost his virginity at 13. Admittedly, he is a good looking guy (he's my brother, of course he is ) and he is also a very charismatic person and highly extroverted. He is also not somebody that people mess around with, as he does have a sadistic element when he is ready to defend himself. I think that tall dudes do have it easier sometimes, but it's nowhere near the hellish element that it's made out to be. Short dudes can have just as much fun as tall dudes. Short dudes can be leaders too.
serial muse Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Funny, for every woman telling me that height doesn't matter, there's another that is. Either way, that's not what this thread is about. I've got the answer I asked about. Thanks everybody for participating. Could it be that different people care about different things? 5
Quiet Storm Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I like your posts. I wonder what your heritage is?? Having said that, I don't know how accurate some of what you're saying is, although I speculate it's probably from experiences more than anything, and I am but a young man. My mother is 5 foot 5, my father is 5 foot 9. I ended up out 6 foot 3 . My family is not a tall one, save for my biological brothers on my father's side, who are both 6 foot 1. My father's father is also quite short, about 5 foot 7 or 8 I think. My mother's father (died in 1975 - on an unrelated note, anyone who has seen the movie "The Bank Job" with Jason Statham will know who my grandfather is), was not a tall man either. I don't recall height being in my heritage at any point, yet I am extremely tall compared to the rest of my family. Also, I don't think that short guys have that much of a raw deal when it comes to women. My closest brother who I live with (different father), is 5 foot 6. His father is also about 5 foot 8. My brother is extraordinarily good with girls and women of all ages. Lost his virginity at 13. Admittedly, he is a good looking guy (he's my brother, of course he is ) and he is also a very charismatic person and highly extroverted. He is also not somebody that people mess around with, as he does have a sadistic element when he is ready to defend himself. I think that tall dudes do have it easier sometimes, but it's nowhere near the hellish element that it's made out to be. Short dudes can have just as much fun as tall dudes. Short dudes can be leaders too. My heritage is half Irish, half Cherokee, raised lower middle class in Baltimore, MD. Wow, you ended up 6'3" with short parents. I've heard that each generation gets a little bit taller, but that is a big difference. Your mom must've had good prenatal vitamins, lol. A lot of what I said does come from experience. My dad is only 5'8" and I did hear him complain about being short, so maybe that rubbed off on me. However, as I grew older and watch men and how they interact, on the street and in the corporate world, I did notice a subtle vibe difference between some short and tall men. I do know that short men can have fun and be leaders. I have seen lots of short men that are successful with women & in the corporate world. However, most of the most successful ones don't seem to mind being short. They seem confident and sure of themselves. They also seem to have an outgoing personality. I think confidence can go a long way with women. I also think younger short men, like in high school, don't have as much of a hang up about height as older short men. I knew lots of short guys in HS that were popular with women. Maybe they are more confident because they haven't been around long enough to get jaded. I think once a man feels that he is judged or discriminated against because of his height, it can become an insecurity, which he thinks about more and becomes more self conscious about. However, before they were initially judged, they may not have even realized that their height would be an issue for some people. 2
AD1980 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Im 31 never been in a relationship and i still refuse to be with someone im not physically attracted to at all..it just doesnt work for me and even though it may leave me single i own that and accept it..
goldengirl11 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 (edited) I'm 5ft 3 and pretty ok with my height, except I notice when I am out with my 6ft girl friend and feel not in her league for some reason. She also seems to get more male attention when we are out too, but mainly when she is standing up. She could probably have her pick of men... and think she knows it too. Edited May 9, 2012 by goldengirl11
snug.bunny Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Having preferences doesn't make someone shallow. Creating numerous threads similar to these to such a HIGH extent, appears as though one is searching for constant validation and reassurance. This isn't anything new that hasn't already been said.
verhrzn Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 My experience is that women are more self conscious about their body shape, or weight, than they are concerned about their height. Yep, that's me. I'm 5 1/2", and I wouldn't care at all about my height if it didn't make me look so squat. By virtue of being short, I look a lot fatter than I actually technically am. When you're short, the only body type that really looks good are the skinnier types.
Els Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Yep, that's me. I'm 5 1/2", and I wouldn't care at all about my height if it didn't make me look so squat. By virtue of being short, I look a lot fatter than I actually technically am. When you're short, the only body type that really looks good are the skinnier types. Quite true. I think this works the same way for both guys and girls though. Taller people generally have not only a lot more area to distribute body weight, but they naturally create an illusion of being slim by virtue of being tall.
LittlePrince Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Yep, that's me. I'm 5 1/2", and I wouldn't care at all about my height if it didn't make me look so squat. By virtue of being short, I look a lot fatter than I actually technically am. When you're short, the only body type that really looks good are the skinnier types. Quite true. I think this works the same way for both guys and girls though. Taller people generally have not only a lot more area to distribute body weight, but they naturally create an illusion of being slim by virtue of being tall. Then get stilts.
Cypress25 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I've never known a woman who prefers shorter men and even the studies on attraction don't back you on this. Pleased to meet you. My name is Cypress and I'm a woman who prefers short men. There, now you know a woman who prefers short men. I don't need studies on attraction to back me on this because I know what I like. I also have several female friends who prefer short men, and they don't need studies on attraction to validate their preferences either. That's the first time I head you say it. It is not! Don't make me look up all your previous threads that I posted in. I know I've said it before, several times in fact. You have selective memory. So if two guys were similar in every way, but one was 5'10 and the other 5'5, you'd chose the shorter one? Be honest. Of course I'd choose the shorter one. Why? Because I'm short! I'd rather not date a guy who towers over me. At 5'5, he would still be 4 inches taller than me, which is perfect. One of my exes was 5'10 but I didn't choose him for his height. I liked everything else about him, so I made my peace with his height, but I would have preferred him to be a couple inches shorter. I didn't think about it much though; you can't have everything you want. For awhile I had a mad crush on one of my guy friends, who's 5'5, but he already had a girlfriend. Simply because I believe that women who prefer short men do not actually exist. You know, it's a little insulting when you say things like that. I'm sitting right here; are you telling me that I don't exist? Do I have to get on a plane and fly out to CA to meet you and shake your hand, just to prove that there are women who prefer short men?! I'll take a bunch of my short female friends with me, and they'll tell you the same thing. One of them, who's 4'11, recently turned down a guy I was trying to set her up with, on the basis that he's too tall. He's only 5'10, which is average, but she didn't want a guy who's almost a foot taller than her. I can't really blame her, I do the same thing. I say I won't date guys who are over 6 feet tall, but really, I'd rather not go higher than 5'10. And before you twist my words and interpret that as me saying I won't date a guy who's shorter than 5'10, let me clarify. 5'10 is my upper limit. I'm only willing to go that high because I can't fault a guy for being average height. But I have a strong preference for guys in the 5'7-5'8 range. They're just the right size for me. Aside from what you just wrote, I have never heard any mention of a woman who prefers a below average height man. That's BS, I've said it a million times. I'm gonna stop responding to your threads if you keep ignoring what I tell you. It's rude; I'm trying to help you. And you know what? I bet some of the women who turned you down actually prefer short guys. They turned you down for reasons that have nothing to do with your height. But you keep blaming your height because it's convenient. I constantly hear short women complaining about being short. I hate being short, but it has nothing to do with dating or how men perceive me. It's just an inconvenience, like when I'm shopping for clothes and I can't find jeans that are short enough, or when I'm at a concert that's standing-room only and I can't see a damn thing, or when I'm at the grocery store and I'm trying to reach an item on the top shelf. It pisses me off when I get carded trying to buy a ticket to an R-rated movie, and it pisses me off that I get mistaken for a teenager everywhere I go. I wish I looked my age, is what it all boils down to. But what are ya gonna do?
Author somedude81 Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 Thanks Cypress25. It's good to know that women like you do exist. Now if only I could meet somebody like you in real life.
Recommended Posts