PoppyLove89 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Okay so you're texting away with someone and seem to be clicking along well...maybe even too well. At the time you don't see it because you're so enthralled by this new dating prospect but what's actually happening is this: 1) A guy/girl starts showering you with attention and compliments. You start thinking: 'Wow, coming on a little strong here, don't you think?!' But you roll with it anyway because hey, you might just have finally found a decent person after all the scumbags you had to deal with. 2) You start to buy into this 'perfect little world' you two have created for each other where he/she likes you and you finally like him/her as much as they seem to like you...almost ready to call off all the other dates you have lined up. 3) They start to drift away. All day texting (initiated by them) from morning through to night starts to dwindle. Soon you only hear from them a couple times a day...then every other day...then.....NOTHING. Why is this? Was it all just one big game to see if they can reel you in? Was it all about the chase all along? Even the most innocent looking people can let you down but why??? Have you ever cut someone off for what appeared to them as no reason? What was your reason? Did you just get bored? Or has it happened to you? Did the person get back in touch eventually or did you chalk them up to the board of 'Missing without a Trace'? Explain and share your stories for those who have just been left cold-turkey...
chimneychamp Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I dislike texting because it's too hard to really gauge the other person.
louise_23 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Okay so you're texting away with someone and seem to be clicking along well...maybe even too well. At the time you don't see it because you're so enthralled by this new dating prospect but what's actually happening is this: 1) A guy/girl starts showering you with attention and compliments. You start thinking: 'Wow, coming on a little strong here, don't you think?!' But you roll with it anyway because hey, you might just have finally found a decent person after all the scumbags you had to deal with. 2) You start to buy into this 'perfect little world' you two have created for each other where he/she likes you and you finally like him/her as much as they seem to like you...almost ready to call off all the other dates you have lined up. 3) They start to drift away. All day texting (initiated by them) from morning through to night starts to dwindle. Soon you only hear from them a couple times a day...then every other day...then.....NOTHING. Why is this? Was it all just one big game to see if they can reel you in? Was it all about the chase all along? Even the most innocent looking people can let you down but why??? Have you ever cut someone off for what appeared to them as no reason? What was your reason? Did you just get bored? Or has it happened to you? Did the person get back in touch eventually or did you chalk them up to the board of 'Missing without a Trace'? Explain and share your stories for those who have just been left cold-turkey... im a pro at this. if i dont value you or youre annoying or have qualities that dont do me any favours ie making me feel bad about myself, i will cut you out. i also do it when it appears someone has bad intentions. i dont need that **** in my life. move along.
blindesided Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Maybe we should combine our posts - lol I would love to understand it too - I guess its just one of life's mysteries But I would rather have someone say to me - hey not feeling it anymore than just dissapear Then you can have some closure instead of being left wondering what the hell happened. And I know - I know - you cant look to others for validation or to fill you up - or stop wasting time thinking of them - they dont deserve you - but sometimes that is easier said then done 1
Almond_Joy Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 im a pro at this. if i dont value you or youre annoying or have qualities that dont do me any favours ie making me feel bad about myself, i will cut you out. i also do it when it appears someone has bad intentions. i dont need that **** in my life. move along. I agree with your sentiment, but do you tell that person that these are the reasons you're stopping communication, or do you just stop communicatiing with no explanation? That's what gets under my skin when people stop communicating, is if they do so without explaining why. As the person you don't like, how am I suppossed to know that I'm a negative influence in your life if you don't tell me? To just bail out after striking up a rapport with no explanation why seems immature. I've stopped communicating with people, but I tell them they're not good for me, or I don't want/need their type in my life or whatever. It's uncomfortable but it doesn't leave loose ends or the other person confused.
louise_23 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I agree with your sentiment, but do you tell that person that these are the reasons you're stopping communication, or do you just stop communicatiing with no explanation? That's what gets under my skin when people stop communicating, is if they do so without explaining why. As the person you don't like, how am I suppossed to know that I'm a negative influence in your life if you don't tell me? To just bail out after striking up a rapport with no explanation why seems immature. I've stopped communicating with people, but I tell them they're not good for me, or I don't want/need their type in my life or whatever. It's uncomfortable but it doesn't leave loose ends or the other person confused. i phase people out with no explanation. it is bad, but im not confrontational and have an issue with being.direct with people if its about them. its wrong, but its far easier to just ignore something than voice it, if you know what i mean.
chimneychamp Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 i phase people out with no explanation. it is bad, but im not confrontational and have an issue with being.direct with people if its about them. its wrong, but its far easier to just ignore something than voice it, if you know what i mean. You're not being non-confrontational. You're being a poor communicator and driving people to frustration. Perhaps you've never been left hanging or had the slow process of time passing by before it sinks in. Being ignored with no explanation is the ultimate diss. You don't have to give a reason, just say you're not interested. 3
louise_23 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 You're not being non-confrontational. You're being a poor communicator and driving people to frustration. Perhaps you've never been left hanging or had the slow process of time passing by before it sinks in. Being ignored with no explanation is the ultimate diss. You don't have to give a reason, just say you're not interested. oh ive been left hanging once or twice. its not particularly challenging to work out imo. but im not much of a chaser tbh. and i do it myself, so may find it easier to recognise. im not good at communicating stuff that would make someone feel bad. its not nice to be ignored but being knocked back is hardly nice either. anyway what does it matter. just offering insight to the OP. not really interested in peoples.opinions about me.
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