jelly baby Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 My boyfriend broke up with me around 2 months ago, then I got a text a month later saying that he's already seeing someone new (I found out that it took him only a couple of days to get into her panties...gross) Anyway, I think he thought I'd be on the phone everyday leaving teary voicemails and texts begging for him to come back. I'm not gonna lie I did at the very beginning of our break up but after while I cooled off and tried NC. (I was a very needy girlfriend, and so to just complete disappear out of his life would have been a shock to him) He was always the one to break NC but yesterday he text me saying something along the lines of ''why don't you want us to be friends?'' so I just explained to him that I'm revising for my finals and that I did want to be friends. Then he started saying ''I've missed us spending time together'' and ''I've missed talking to you'' :/ I'm certain he's testing the water out if things are going sour with this new girl (she's travelling around Europe this summer, surely that's putting some strain on their 2 month relationship?) Plus if I was her I'd be pretty annoyed if he was texting his first love (well, that's what he's always told me) saying he missed her and such :/ I need some advice on how to just play it cool with him? He's always the one to text me, and I'm always to stop the conversations (by telling him I'm going into work etc) I don't want him back (but I do still love him), and I want him to know this. But if he is just being friendly I don't want to appear, well I dunno, like I think he still likes me if he doesn't? Advice please!
Philosoraptor Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 If talking to him and hearing about his life is hurtful to you then you need to stop all contact with him. He's clearly just seeing if you were interested still and trying to relieve his own guilt.
crazylove Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Well, firstly, if he did that to you, then he's no friend of yours. Secondly, he's just testing the water to see if you'll still be there for him....and to him it will look like u are. NC means NC, and whilst you still have feelings for him you can't genuinely be friends. I wouldn't answer his texts. 1
Author jelly baby Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 When he texts me though and I ask him what he's been doing he never, ever mentions his girlfriend. Which I see in two ways - 1. he obviously isn't with her just to get a reaction out of me, or to make me jealous, maybe he genuinely does like her and 2. it makes me feel ok because I saw a picture of them and a conversation between them on facebook and ever since then I have deleted them both off it because seeing them together really hurts. So hearing about his life doesn't upset me so much cos he says he isn't doing anything. But I guess you're right crazylove in saying that I can't be friends with him if I still have feelings for him. Next time he texts I won't reply I'm much happier without him texting anyway! And I have been healing so well. I don't think I want to be friends with him anyway after what he said, so I will just be civil from now on! 2
TaraMaiden Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 change your 'phone number or block him. And please don't tell me you can't because another member on here said it wasn't possible because he used his numnber for work and he had roo many people on it - but then he did it, and there ws absolutely no problem with it at all.... Block him completely. Don't worry about disappearing out of his life completely being a shock to him. who cares?? He didn't care whether dumping you and jumping into another girls wide-open legs would shock you....did he? Go complete, total No Contact. The link in my signature tells you how. And it tells you why, too. 5
stillafool Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Definitely do not return his calls and change your information. Contact with him will cause a setback in your healing. No, you cannot be friends and if you need to remind him of this then do so. But do not let him sucker you back in because he is definitely still seeing her.
Author jelly baby Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 change your 'phone number or block him. And please don't tell me you can't because another member on here said it wasn't possible because he used his numnber for work and he had roo many people on it - but then he did it, and there ws absolutely no problem with it at all.... Block him completely. Don't worry about disappearing out of his life completely being a shock to him. who cares?? He didn't care whether dumping you and jumping into another girls wide-open legs would shock you....did he? Go complete, total No Contact. The link in my signature tells you how. And it tells you why, too. What a great link thank you so much! I'm really worried though because we go to the same college and have some mutual friends so I know that sooner or later I'll be bumping into him. Would you say hi to him and be friendly or just walk away? I don't want him to think he has defeated me, I want him to see I am stronger than ever. I just don't know how to do that
Author jelly baby Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 Definitely do not return his calls and change your information. Contact with him will cause a setback in your healing. No, you cannot be friends and if you need to remind him of this then do so. But do not let him sucker you back in because he is definitely still seeing her. What a loser if he is still seeing her then yet texting me saying he misses me. He clearly cannot respect any woman. I just want karma to come around and bite him on the ass already!
stillafool Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Don't wish bad on anyone or it will come back to you. Just be glad you're no longer involved with him.
olivec Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 My boyfriend broke up with me around 2 months ago, then I got a text a month later saying that he's already seeing someone new (I found out that it took him only a couple of days to get into her panties...gross) Anyway, I think he thought I'd be on the phone everyday leaving teary voicemails and texts begging for him to come back. I'm not gonna lie I did at the very beginning of our break up but after while I cooled off and tried NC. (I was a very needy girlfriend, and so to just complete disappear out of his life would have been a shock to him) He was always the one to break NC but yesterday he text me saying something along the lines of ''why don't you want us to be friends?'' so I just explained to him that I'm revising for my finals and that I did want to be friends. Then he started saying ''I've missed us spending time together'' and ''I've missed talking to you'' :/ I'm certain he's testing the water out if things are going sour with this new girl (she's travelling around Europe this summer, surely that's putting some strain on their 2 month relationship?) Plus if I was her I'd be pretty annoyed if he was texting his first love (well, that's what he's always told me) saying he missed her and such :/ I need some advice on how to just play it cool with him? He's always the one to text me, and I'm always to stop the conversations (by telling him I'm going into work etc) I don't want him back (but I do still love him), and I want him to know this. But if he is just being friendly I don't want to appear, well I dunno, like I think he still likes me if he doesn't? Advice please! First off very sorry what happend to you as it sounds like you got a bad deal for sure. I've been where your at as my ex g/f broke up with me but then continued to text me still wanting to be friends. I remember one she ven said shes sad we weren't talking anymore. I was like you I fell for it the first few times hoping the relationship could be salvaged somehow. Unfortunately she wanted her cake and eat it to. I be used when she needed me then she disappear for days or weeks. I'm telling right now you don't want that. You either go straight no contact or you tell him its either all the way or nothing. Do you really wanna continue to be his puppy dogg and have him walk all over you? Plus when he meets a new girl you'll be rejected once again and made to feel even worse. Take this situation as a lifes lesson and move on from him.
Author jelly baby Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 Decided I'm no longer going to reply to his texts, just hurts too much that he's acting like he wants to be my friend after everything he has done to me. And reading back the texts I seem quite desperate asking him what he has been doing, how things have been for him. I still imagine them cuddled up in bed together while I've been sleeping alone for weeks now, with no interest of having anyone else there because all I want is him. Not only now have I lost a lover, I've just lost a really good friend he knew just how much I hated this girl when they first met. He could have had any girl he wanted, but he chose her. Having your heart broke sucks two months and I feel I'm still not truly over it! They say times a great healer, lets hope so
crazylove Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Instead of replying to him, you should reply on here if you get the urge!! NC is defo the way to go. It won't be easy, but you've already said yourself you feel better not being in contact. Hopefully soon you'll feel better and be able to move on. Good luck:)
olivec Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Decided I'm no longer going to reply to his texts, just hurts too much that he's acting like he wants to be my friend after everything he has done to me. And reading back the texts I seem quite desperate asking him what he has been doing, how things have been for him. I still imagine them cuddled up in bed together while I've been sleeping alone for weeks now, with no interest of having anyone else there because all I want is him. Not only now have I lost a lover, I've just lost a really good friend he knew just how much I hated this girl when they first met. He could have had any girl he wanted, but he chose her. Having your heart broke sucks two months and I feel I'm still not truly over it! They say times a great healer, lets hope so Your doing the right thing trust me. Moving on from that situation is the best thing you can do for yourself.
rose27 Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 jelly baby, I'm going through something similar myself. My ex and I broke up over a year ago and he's already been in two relationships. In between the two, we started seeing each other and hooking up. I shouldn't have broken NC but stupidly did. Now he just got into a new relationship and I decided to change my number. He somehow managed to get my number through friends and has sent some inappropriate texts. He justifies this by saying "I have no intentions, it's just mucking around". He's good at manipulating me and he came past to see me tonight for a chat (nothing more) I would hate to be in his girlfriend's position. Do not be as stupid as me and do NOT let him back into your life. He wants to have his cake and eat it too, it's all about their ego. Be strong and focus on you! You don't deserve to be treated that way.
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