delirious Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I posted this once but it disappeared so here goes again. I have been seeing a guy for eight months, we met on a dating site. We have spent a lot of time together and many holidays or nearly a week each month. We go out hold hands, kiss lots and are really romantic. He is ten years younger than me but i do look younger and he looks older. He did say that we would probably never be together as an item because of the age difference recently and I thought WTF did you contact me for? Anyhow I got drunk one night and found his profile. I asked him for a photo (I did not know 100 per cent it was him and forgot about it. However he sent a photo yesterday and I pretended I was someone else for just a couple of hours until I told him it was me. I never said anything particularly but really thought he would know it was me. So my question is, why did he approach ME, not having a photo and being ten years older. The profile I put again, after him having told me that we would not be an item ever, was also ten years older so why did he bite, having realised he would not want a long term thing with someone older. I actually thought i twas because he did want to have children but I guess not. He did not say anything remotely sexual to me or the new profile, so I don't get it? Tell me and am I being stupid BTW he was mad as hell when he found out. I thought it would be funny really. And I don't pay for him, so forget that one. And up till yesterday we were still dating!
louise_23 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I posted this once but it disappeared so here goes again. I have been seeing a guy for eight months, we met on a dating site. We have spent a lot of time together and many holidays or nearly a week each month. We go out hold hands, kiss lots and are really romantic. He is ten years younger than me but i do look younger and he looks older. He did say that we would probably never be together as an item because of the age difference recently and I thought WTF did you contact me for? Anyhow I got drunk one night and found his profile. I asked him for a photo (I did not know 100 per cent it was him and forgot about it. However he sent a photo yesterday and I pretended I was someone else for just a couple of hours until I told him it was me. I never said anything particularly but really thought he would know it was me. So my question is, why did he approach ME, not having a photo and being ten years older. The profile I put again, after him having told me that we would not be an item ever, was also ten years older so why did he bite, having realised he would not want a long term thing with someone older. I actually thought i twas because he did want to have children but I guess not. He did not say anything remotely sexual to me or the new profile, so I don't get it? Tell me and am I being stupid BTW he was mad as hell when he found out. I thought it would be funny really. And I don't pay for him, so forget that one. And up till yesterday we were still dating! what does it matter what his intentions were? the very fact he was on it whilst already dating you is a warning. let him get on with it.
january2011 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Eight months is a lot of time to spend with someone you don't consider long-term and exclusive. I think you need to break away from him. Both his actions and words suggest that his relationship goals don't align with yours.
FitChick Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 People just decide, for whatever reason, they want to start dating again. It happens all the time.
dasein Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 If he made promises of exclusivity to induce you to sex or whatever, that's definitely on him, and would be just as bad as anytime someone is using someone else. If he did not, and you merely dated expecting exclusivity to emerge in time, that's on you. The lesson to learn is to make sure you are very clear about expectations and don't waste time in relationships that aren't likely to fulfill your personal goals, whatever they may be. The age difference stuff and him being on the site is irrelevant to the real underlying issue IMO if there was no exclusivity or at least "we are a couple" being represented to friends, family and each other. If you aren't getting what you want in a relationship, make your expectations clear and move on if they aren't closer to being met in time.
flightysue Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 I posted this once but it disappeared so here goes again. I have been seeing a guy for eight months, we met on a dating site. We have spent a lot of time together and many holidays or nearly a week each month. We go out hold hands, kiss lots and are really romantic. He is ten years younger than me but i do look younger and he looks older. He did say that we would probably never be together as an item because of the age difference recently and I thought WTF did you contact me for? Anyhow I got drunk one night and found his profile. I asked him for a photo (I did not know 100 per cent it was him and forgot about it. However he sent a photo yesterday and I pretended I was someone else for just a couple of hours until I told him it was me. I never said anything particularly but really thought he would know it was me. So my question is, why did he approach ME, not having a photo and being ten years older. The profile I put again, after him having told me that we would not be an item ever, was also ten years older so why did he bite, having realised he would not want a long term thing with someone older. I actually thought i twas because he did want to have children but I guess not. He did not say anything remotely sexual to me or the new profile, so I don't get it? Tell me and am I being stupid BTW he was mad as hell when he found out. I thought it would be funny really. And I don't pay for him, so forget that one. And up till yesterday we were still dating! Bet he's married or seeing loads of other women just for sex!
Brit Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 You should feel lucky to see him for who he is now, rather then 10 years later. I would drop him, and not look back. Meet someone in person who does not do the dating site deals.
truth_seeker Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Anytime in a relationship someone starts stirring up trouble, being difficult, it's a sign they want a break or a complete break. It's hard for the person who receives this, as they don't see it coming, but take it as a message that the other isn't into you like they once were.
Recommended Posts