blindesided Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Ok so I met a guy last week. We seemed to hit it off and exchanged numbers. Due to work schedules - we were texting all week & we were suppossed to have a date last night. His texts were always so sweet - "I am really starting to like you", "I cant wait to see you", "you are beatuiful", "I miss you"..... The first weird sign was last Thursday my schedule freed up so I sent a text to see if he wanted to grab dinner - I got no reponse....until the next day with an excuse that his phone died. Ok I'll give you the benefit of the doubt..once. Sweet texts continue - then as it gets closer to date time I tell him I am hopping in the shower & to call me to set up plans.....Again no repsonse. My last text to him was something along the lines of "Obviously you arent interested in actually meeting up - but I'm confused on why all the sweet texts & leading me on" Why do guys do that? I mean seriously why bother with the sweet texts & he was the initiator. Do you think I scared him off but being the one to ask him out on Thursday? Why do some people think its funny to play around with peoples emotions? - it just feels so cruel
PoppyLove89 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I have literally just been through exactly the same thing! I met this guy and we were texting back and forth for about 2/3 weeks; even fit in a phone call. He was saying all this stuff too, 'I really like you, it's so easy to talk to you'...then apparently his phone died and he text me saying 'sorry my phone died but i really missed you last night'. He was the one coming on all strong, 'I've been hurt before, you're not gonna play me are you?' and all that BS. Then for no reason, he stops talking to me - literally from one day to the next. I have no idea why men do this...perhaps they have other women on the side? Who knows. It's baffling and rude.
Author blindesided Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 Maybe we were talking to the same guy - lol Seriously - I would love to hear from a guys point of view what is going on - I would never play with someone emotions like that - if I am not interested - I would never send flirty texts back or be the initiator - It truly is baffling & rude
PoppyLove89 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Haha maybe! If anything the similarities in our stories just proves that there is a pattern here. My guess is, they've found someone else or were just wasting time talking to us until that someone else rolled around that they were truly interested in. It isn't fair, you're right but people do it. I guess I was just completely baffled by the whole thing because he just looks so innocent and honest...yet he clearly isn't! Looks can be deceiving, eh?! I suppose the fact that they're being overly-affectionate should serve as a warning in itself - who does that? They're overcompensating for something else, I think. Oh well, whatever it is, I hope it works out for him. I deserve better anyways
dasein Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I don't see any cruel emotional manipulation or gameplaying here, just flirting. Would consider in the future not buying in emotionally (feeling like a fool) at all until you have several dates under your belt with a person, more than just some back and forth texting.
Author blindesided Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 Maybe not cruel emotional manipulation - but then why all the "I cant wait to see you"..I miss you....blah blah blah if you truly arent interested in meeting. There is a difference also in flirting - I can flirt witht the best of them but can read when its just that - harmless flirting - this was a different animal - Thats my question - why would people do that? If I am not into a guy - my texts reflect that. And yes it literally went from hot to cold overnight - thats the strange part
FitChick Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 This is why I don't text. Unless you actually speak to him, it could anyone texting you. Even the dog. 1
SJC2008 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Kudos on calling him out I like your style. I wish there were more strait forward women like you. AnywY, like dasien said: Consider remarks like those as flirting early on. Personally I wouldn't tell a woman I just met I miss her, she'd probably freak out and rightfully so IMO.
dasein Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 why would people do that? Who really knows, people pleasing? being nice? really busy? keeping options on the backburner? if his intent were to manipulate or use you, wouldn't he be more proactive in doing so? I have a hunch this guy isn't truly available for dating, either involved in a relationship or quasi relationship elsewhere. The important thing is that this shouldn't make you feel foolish, embarrassed or question yourself. Good luck in moving on and finding more proactive options.
thatone Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 yeah, that's it 99% of the time. the dude got shuffled off to a wedding or a living arrangement with a gf at least, and he finds out a few months later that he doesn't like her all that much and misses the chase. so he finds new prospects to flirt with but never follows up. the title of the OP is precisely it, it's just a game.
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