T-Mac Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I posted my story a while back... My ex girl and I were together 6 months and I fell in love, she caught a case of the GIGS and left me for "the bad boy." I cut all communication with her immediately, deleted her from Facebook, and ignored the one text she sent me 5 days post break up that said "thinking of you." Well, I just heard from her again today after a little over a month. I knew it was just a matter of time. She sent me another text that read, "Hi, Ben how are you doing? Hope all is well." I know this is just bread crumbs - but to be honest, part of me wants to respond. Is it really that big of a deal if I do? I gave up hope weeks ago that we would ever get back together. And even if she wanted to, I wouldn't be down for it. Even though she ripped my heart out and tore it to pieces, I still feel bad for ignoring her. I know she cares about me, she just didn't feel I was the one, so she let me go, should I really hold that against her? I have zero interest in being friends with her. I can't be friends with her. I still care about her, and I think of her daily, but I don't feel that if I respond with a simple, "Fine, thanks. Hope you're well too" that I would be causing myself further pain or heartache. So can some please explain to me why I should continue to ignore her? Or is a short, simple response ok? I'm actually fine, so why not just let her know that? Thanks.
Gulf-Delta Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I posted my story a while back... My ex girl and I were together 6 months and I fell in love, she caught a case of the GIGS and left me for "the bad boy." I cut all communication with her immediately, deleted her from Facebook, and ignored the one text she sent me 5 days post break up that said "thinking of you." Well, I just heard from her again today after a little over a month. I knew it was just a matter of time. She sent me another text that read, "Hi, Ben how are you doing? Hope all is well." I know this is just bread crumbs - but to be honest, part of me wants to respond. Is it really that big of a deal if I do? I gave up hope weeks ago that we would ever get back together. And even if she wanted to, I wouldn't be down for it. Even though she ripped my heart out and tore it to pieces, I still feel bad for ignoring her. I know she cares about me, she just didn't feel I was the one, so she let me go, should I really hold that against her? I have zero interest in being friends with her. I can't be friends with her. I still care about her, and I think of her daily, but I don't feel that if I respond with a simple, "Fine, thanks. Hope you're well too" that I would be causing myself further pain or heartache. So can some please explain to me why I should continue to ignore her? Or is a short, simple response ok? I'm actually fine, so why not just let her know that? Thanks. You are the only one who can decide if you're thinking rationally or in a "cooled down" state of mind... If you tihnk you are and talking to her won't spark any emotions, respond. But DO NOT get to involved in the conversation too deeply. If you feel things bubbling up, or it starts to get too heavy, say you're busy and gotta go. Last time I talked (through text) to my ex, I apologized for my actions post-breakup (I was really lame) and the conversation started going down an emotional road. So I cut it off and said "Anyway, kinda busy [inside joke here] lol, bye". She responded with "ok, have fun", and that was it. However me and my ex still respect one another as people and may even love each other (though probably in only a platonic way) so everything was cool. If your ex hates your guts, or your breakup was ugly, your ex may not be so gracious when you decide to break the conversation.
TaraMaiden Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 If you think you're fine, and if you think you can handle the breadcrumbs (in which case, they can't be 'breadcrumbs' any more, because those are only 'breadcrumbs' when you're pining and they're ripping your heart out with trivia....) If you believe, truly, in your heart that you are perfectly ok, and you don't give a damn one way or the other, because you've reached that perfect level of indifference, and you could care less whether she's in another man's bed doing with him, what she did with you - - Then by all means feel free to respond. But only answer the question, do not invite dialogue. Her: "Hi, Ben how are you doing? Hope all is well." You: "fine, thanks." That's it. That's all she needs to hear, or frankly, deserves to hear. don't give her any clue as to how you feel, what you're doing, whether you have a new GF, whether you're in the country - or whether you are over her or not. That's not her privilege. She's left what she believes is an adequate amount of time between the break-up and now, to just stroll by, check up on you, haul you into the friend-zone ("oh, my ex- and I get on really well, we're such good buddies now!) You'll know from her next text what she's fishing for, because guaranteed - there WILL be a 'next text'. Once you give her that opening.....
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