TwiggyBalboa Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Hello, I could use some help with dealing with my mom. I am Korean, 18. So I have never been in a relationship of any sort before and recently have come to like this girl at my school. She likes me and I really like her and we both want to go into a relationship but I feel that I need to get my parents approval before I start the relationship at all. Thing is my mom seems to be what's getting in the way of me starting this relationship with her. The girl I want to go into a relationship is not Korean like me. For my dad, he really wants me to go with a Korean girl but will not stop me if I don't, cause he claims that if that was his first issue, he would not have moved from Korea. My mom however does not think the same. For those reading this, Koreans think very low of Koreans who do not go with other Koreans. Because I have grown up in America all my life and have adapted to the American culture, I don't understand that view. There are many cultural aspects that my parents have shyed away from but there are some things they are not willing to give up. From experience, whenever I have attempted to try to change that, it has ended up in giant arguements in which I can never win over. Because I know I can't change some things I don't try to argue with them on those things. This aspect of going with a girl that is Korean only is one of those things that my mom is not willing to give up. Now I know some of you are thinking to just tell my mom to piss off, this is my life or whatever, but Koreans value family over anything, and that is something I agree as well with them on. I wouldn't mind talking to my mom about it but I know she will freak out. Now I'm fine with her freaking out, but thing is, she has high blood pressure and I don't want anything to happen to her cause I care for her as well and both the girl and my mom are important to me. It's not the she is racist, it's just that her culture does not accept this very well and she is not willing to accept it either. I talked about this with the girl and she understands and we ended up deciding to just remain close friends and to take things slow for a while. Problem with that is my mothers blood pressure has been big for a long time now and I am not sure if it will go down anytime soon, but I don't want to lose a chance with a nice, smart, funny, attractive girl. My mom has been stressed out with a lot of things involving her job (she loves it but it's stressful for her at times) and what not. We've tried to keep her blood pressure low and everything by eating healthier and try to lower her stress by doing housework that she would normally do, but it seems that her blood pressure remains high. I don't want to have to pick between the girl and my mom, but both people are really important to me and I have no clue to what I should do. Could you guys help me out????
january2011 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Wait until you are in college. Choose one that it not in the same state as your family home. Date as much as you want to. You're 18. Technically, an adult. However, your life choices may be limited if you are still living with your parents and/or you still rely on them for financial help. Once you're more independent and don't need your parents anymore, then they don't have as much leverage in your life. Ultimately, it is your life. Your parents will not always be around. Your parents' health will become even more of a concern when you and they get older. You need to decide what's best for your long-term future, even if that goes against your parents' wishes, because ultimately, you are the one who has to live with your life choices. I'd also recommend not telling them everything - learn how to make smart choices so that you can rely on your own counsel.
Recommended Posts