LoveAshley Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Back in February, my long term boyfriend that I live with broke his foot in 7 places. Since then, I have been pretty much taking care of him. I am happy and willing to do so since I love him. I have started doing his dishes, laundry, cooking, picking up after him, helping him get around, etc since he has been ordered to not be on his feet. Now it's been a few months and he's starting to get back on his feet but he's still not really supposed to be on it very much. I have still been doing everything for him that I can just to make things easier on him. Back when this first happened, he told me he was grateful that I was taking care of him, and it made me so happy. Lately though I have noticed that he's starting to nag at me while I am doing him favors. He keeps leaving stuff in his pockets that goes through the washer and he said, "Well make sure empty my pockets before you throw them in there." Then he starts criticizing the fact that there was a little spec of dirt on a plate after I washed them. Today he nagged at me for leaving the light on. He came on and said, "I want the lights off for a reason." I said, "And I turned them back on for a reason." "...Why?" "Um because I am doing YOUR laundry." I feel like he's starting to expect me to do these things. Should I back off on doing his favors at the moment? Also, his mom and grandma are very old fashioned and they raised him with the idea that women clean and cook. They are confused at why I don't do all these things for him all the time and are always on me about how I should be a better housekeeper. They will come over and ask me exclusively, "Why haven't you dusted in a while?" like it's my responsibility because I am the one with the vagina. This was a small issue when my bf and I first got together because he was so used to his mom doing all his little chores for him so he whined and wimpered about having to do his own laundry and dishes. But he started doing better at helping around the house...until recently. Am I giving too much? I don't feel like I am but then I also feel under appreciated.
whichwayisup Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Be upfront and honest - Tell him you are doing all this to make his life easier, to help him out and a while ago you felt like your efforts were appreciated by him, but now you feel like he's expecting you to do everything without thanking you or appreciating you. As for the nagging, he's being a jerk .. Hey, if my husband told me that there was a speck of dirt on the dishes after I spent months doing everything, i'd throw the sponge at him and say , "Here, if you don't like how I'm doing the dishes, you do it!" then I'd go take a nap.. Anyway, he needs to do stuff on his own now. It's been long enough so he needs to get around and stop relying on you to do everything.
TripLine Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I hate dishes, that is why when I was living by myself, plastic plates, forks, and knifes. Never washed a dish in my life, except for my George Foreman Grill. Those dogs were worth washing for. Yea, you got suckered into being his mom.
Recommended Posts