Sunflower22 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 So for those of you who have not read my last post, I went to my husband to talk to him about his job and that the travel that comes with his job is to much for me. I have 2 young children at home, one is just 2 and the other 5 months. He is leaving us every week for 4 days a week for the last 6 months and I just can't do it any more. He seems to be having a great time on the road staying out with who ever having drinks while I'm with our two children doing all the house work plus maintaining my job. I am overwhelmed, I am lonely, and I am miserable. I tried to go to him and discuss this but he wouldn't listen to me, he kept telling me I could do it and he knows its tough on me but basically keep doing it. I gave him an ultimatium to either quit his job and get a job that had no traveling our loose me cause I can't do this anymore. I had to give him an ultimatium because he would not consider my feelings when I tried to speak with him about it. So the other night he laid down the crap on me at the table. He told me he was not confident in our marriage and that I would need to make him more confident before he quit his job. He said that we can go to counseling and if he felt good about us in 3 months he would get a job with no traveling. Then he said if I wanted a divorce we could go that route cause he didn't want me to be trapped but that we could set down and figure out who gets what without lawyers involved. Then he said or we can seperate for 60 days. He had no emotion as I was crying cause I want my husband home with me and our kids. Well, that night he walked out on us, packed up his crap and walked out and left me and the kids to go to his moms who is telling him to manipulate me like this. I was sad and confussed at first. I couldn't believe that my husband actually walked out on us for this, for a job and cause I want him home with us. He played a terrible game and to him he has won. But he has lost because when he came home today little does he know I will never look at him as the same man and I know he can careless about me and my feelings. He wants to boss me around and power play me. Well he is in for a rude awakening because over these 3 months on working on our marriage I am going to act like the sweet little house wife he wants me to be but I have already contacted a lawyer, and when the time comes there will be no sitting at the dinning room table, there will be no talking the only talking this man is going to do is with my lawyer. I am getting my life on track with my kids without him during these 3 months. I am going to get my support circle intact as all my friends and family know whats going on and are disgusted with his behavior. I use to love this man but now I could give a crap about him. And he thinks he has won. So I'm sure its just a matter of time before he packs up and leaves to mommys house again and when he does I'm having legal authority to keep him out of my house for abandonment and he will not be welcome back in our lives again. And when him and mommy think they have won the only conversation from me is going to be my lawyer will be contacting you. I don't want to talk to this man. I don't care what his issues are I have been a fair and loving wife. I tried to make the travel work for me. I have dealt with his crap long enough now he can lie in his bed cause it is just a matter of time. His sister told what he is doing to me sounds like his sick mothers advice. Well his mother just ruined his marriage and I hope he can chew on that one. He needs psychiatric help.
Author Sunflower22 Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 Does anyone have any input into this. Does anyone think that this makes me in the wrong? I feel that this is what he deserves for treating me the way he has
darkmoon Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 it's a marriage unravelling but you can't go back on what was said or done,
standtall Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Sunflower..it sounds as if you have empowered yourself to do what is right for you and your children. Great job. I know it sucks that your marriage is looking grim. If it helps, by what you described as his manipulative behavior, his choosing of his job over his marriage and family, and the fact that he has already abandoned you anyway, then I would say you are better off finding this this out early rather than wasting 15 more years of your life with him. Get a good lawyer and seek the support you are entitled to. 1
Author Sunflower22 Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 So I am on his "work" trip with him with our kids and his plan was to keep me in the hotel room while he goes out for work of course every night. Well he has been telling me to get help for months but I have never taken him up on his offer but tonight I am. I have called an agency for babysitter and it's expensive but I have one coming for the night and there is nothing he can say or do but pay for it. He is all about the money do I know deep down inside it's killing him that he has to fit the bill for this but it's time he stops using me and takes some responsibility. At this point I will probably stay with the sitter cause im worried to leave my daughter but at the least I will have some help.
viktorious11 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Just some constructive criticism - which I have been receiving much of- use paragraphs to break up your thoughts! I got lost in reading all that... I would say keep up the counseling. For my marriage, that is my last lifeline.
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