Chacha8 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I felt as if I was really doing better over the last couple of weeks, but today has been a challenge for some reason. Today I keep replaying everything in my head and telling myself that maybe if I had done this or that differently, we'd still be together. I know these thoughts are destructive, but I don't know how to turn them off. I have spent all day today thinking about him, wishing he would want me back and that things could miraculously be fixed between us. I constantly check my phone to see if he's texted or called, and each time I see that he hasn't, it just makes me feel worse. Sounds crazy, I know. Why am I wasting so much time hurting over someone who has walked away from me and our son, and dismissed us so easily from his life? UGH. I can't wait to feel 100% better again one day. Does anyone know how I can stop dwelling on all of this? It would be so much easier if I had a switch to turn it off. I am looking forward to tomorrow....hopefully it will be a good day.
Philosoraptor Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 These thoughts happen from time to time and it's normal. You need to remind yourself that you can not control the actions of another and that every choice that they made was indeed their choice. In any situation a person can choose to work towards finding a solution or to walk away. 3
nanbullen Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I felt as if I was really doing better over the last couple of weeks, but today has been a challenge for some reason. Today I keep replaying everything in my head and telling myself that maybe if I had done this or that differently, we'd still be together. I know these thoughts are destructive, but I don't know how to turn them off. I have spent all day today thinking about him, wishing he would want me back and that things could miraculously be fixed between us. I constantly check my phone to see if he's texted or called, and each time I see that he hasn't, it just makes me feel worse. Sounds crazy, I know. Wow, you're just like me. I've gotten a little better lately, but I'm really bad with the phone checking too. You don't sound crazy to me! I especially hate in the morning when I check my phone hoping he called or texted me while I was asleep. Then throughout the day, no matter what I'm doing...all of a sudden I think of him and how he doesn't love me anymore. It's almost like I'm torturing myself. I can't keep thoughts of what went wrong and how much I miss him out of my head for more than a few minutes. Sorry I can't be of more help. Supposedly this is normal and will all go away with time. That's what everybody says, anyway. You said you were feeling better the past couple of weeks. I think it's normal to have a setback. I have them all the time. It's like 2 steps forward and 1 step back! 1
xxSRMxx Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 It happens to us all, I was doing okay a couple of weeks ago and this week ive been a mess. somebody came upto me in a club and mentioned him to me and then that gave me the urge to text him...cut a long story short, meeting up, sleeping together and then going home and feeling like crap AGAIN. sometimes I feel like im a vicious circle, thing is, the only person thats going to get me out of it is ME. Keep going, dont be too hard on yourself with setbacks, ive had 3 major setbacks so now i am being pretty tough on myself. This link has been put on here a few times but it really represents how alot of us feel and how many times we replay what we could have done differently etc. When Iris realizes - YouTube Always makes me cry but even though its just a film, kinda makes you realise youre not alone in this. 1
windmask Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 ur not alone who replays it in your head thinking about things you could have changed and the result would have been different. its been a year for me since my gf broke up with me and i tend to still think every now and then what i could have changed. even though i know she never accepted me for the way i was. i realized something though i was madly in love with her reason well because she had faults but i loved her i mean i loved her the way she was with her faults. however when it came to me she saw faults and tried changing whatever she could about me got bored and left. even though all the things she said like how shes incomplete without me or how she loved me it really couldnt have been full truthful. a part of heart had doubts and when breaking up she believed these doubts 100 percent thats why she left. so i say being in love is just accepting the person as they are and just loving all there faults too. its impossible to do but somehow i did. maybe am wrong though but its just what i believe for myself. its so hard to hate her after the break up which was tough because she humiliated me pretty much. but still my heart loves her but i refuse to talk to her because each time we tried she just insulted me further until i finally gave up on that too... 1
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