Danith Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Think I already know what I should do, but looking for a 2nd opinion (or 10) on the matter. The Scenario: I'm 21, she's 20. We've been dating casually for 2-3 months. When we started out we both made very clear we're going to take things slow which I had no issue with as I had removed myself out of a 2 year relationship 4-5 months prior and her relationships were not really the best ones. We're not having sex; I'm not buying her food or gifts every week, all she gains from this arrangement is my company (To establish that I don't believe I am being used for anything in particular). My expectations are actually at a all time low; Would I like a relationship with her? Sure, but at this point I've already prepared myself for that not happening. She's actually an incredibly sweet girl. From what she's told me and our mutual friends as well, she typically doesn't get romantically or intimately involved with anyone. She hung out with her ex in the first few weeks of dating, he begged for her back, and she was appalled at the idea even going as far to make a "little" rage post on FB (which I knew he knew about as he called her when she was with me). To my knowledge, she has hid nothing from me. My Problem: Not really, once again, the fact that it's not going anywhere fast - but in that I feel like I instigate every interaction that we have. Yet, the problem I have here, is why would a girl that is scared or hesitant to get emotionally involved with anyone and is literally gaining nothing from me (other than some cuddling and kissing) even bother to keep me around? My only deduction was she was simply scared to tell me she didn't want me in that context, she was bored, etc - especially after sending her two texts (one on Wednesday, the next on Thursday) and getting no response. So my answer to this was simple: We were both at a party, the next morning (when we were sober), I smoked a cigarette with her and was pretty straight forward and asked her if she wanted me to back off, we could just be friends, and I'd have NO problem with that. Her response was "No! No! Not at all". At this point, I was just like WTF? I'd like to clarify, I want to continue dating her but I despise games - and I literally have no expectations than maybe like a single text from her, or a simple "Hey, what are you doing tonight?"(I held off for 2-3 days at a time multiple times). Typically, if I feel like texting a girl I text her. I can see where it builds attraction/mystery/etc - but I already hit the point where she wasn't even responding to my own texts/calls, at that point attraction should be completely nullified, but apparently not. Conclusion: I actually have no idea what to do under the premise I want to continue dating her. I'd feel silly giving her an ultimatum like I want to see you more OR *insert blah blah blah here* in what up to this point has been a fairly casual relationship. I feel like I should detail how casual, cause it's not really that awfully casual. When we're together we have a superb time; We compliment each other saying how sweet one another is, how much we like each other and care about each other which is why we're taking things slow. and even talk about HOW CUTE it'd be when we do become a couple (srsly). Leaving it at that.
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