I made a love triangle at work. who's in the wrong?!

[Arabellad25]

Hi everyone, just here looking for a little advice.*

 

I'm a 25 year old female and will totally admit I've caused a bit of a kaffufle in our office and will explain the predicament I've got myself in hoping for some advice,,

 

*I've been working in a really tight team of 10 for 2.5 years.. Even though Majority are males We all get on really well and often go drinking together. Obviously there are some people that get on acceptionally well and there's one guy (rick) *I get on with particularly well *but I never saw it as anything other than buddies as no 1) he has a gf and no 2) I could never think of someone romantically that I was friends with.

 

There's another guy in the office (jack) that's pretty quiet, and somehow sly.. He doesn't boast about anything but has gained a reputation as a bit of a womaniser through dating clients and a few girls at the same time.. Anyway, I didn't dislike him but thought he was a bit of a creep / didn't really connect. At Christmas we had a drunk kiss once or twice.. Didn't think anything of it other than silly drunkness... However, a colleague must have seen and started some rumours..which then a month down the line ended in our boss confronting us as though we were having a full on affair, which of course we both denied... Awkward!!*So this was all 5 months ago and has been forgotten about gladly.

 

**I recently handed my notice in at work to go abroad.. The night I took my colleagues out and told them rick was pretty upset as he is a good friend, we all had way too many drinks and I ended telling rick I loved him in a friendly way.. It was not like I was confessing undying love... however as we had even more drinks I ended up kissing rick and he told me he loved me... Big mistake..

 

The next day he was trying to arrange meetings with me / asking to talk to me & I managed to brush it off and after a couple of days I apologised and explained I was just being a drunken fool.. However, he told me that he

wasn't,, that was the end of that conversation.. And although it was awkward we were still able to be friends and he was fine with me. ( nice considering what had happened ) - all was good for the next few weeks

 

My last week.. On the Monday evening we had a big night out with clients to say good bye.. Everyone was in good spirits & at the end of the evening it was myself and jack. ( the quiet guy ) I know this is reticules but things got a bit hot and we slept together... Resulting in some marking (scratches) on his neck which were clearly from a sexual encounter and not hideable with a shirt. 0h dear. this was the first of quite a few evenings spent with jack last week.

 

Next day at the office rick couldn't look at me / let alone speak to me... And this continued for a number of days.. Awkwardly most people in the office picked up on this and said nothing at all to either of us.. Knowing that Rick is upset. Incredibly awkward. He announced he wasn't able to come to my leaving drinks on Friday & booked the next week off work.

 

My boss threw a spanner in the works on the day before my last.. He asked me to stay - for at least a month.. Didn't give a real reason.. Just said he didn't want me to leave, but I should only stay if I wanted to.. Incredibly bizaar as if someone resigns he always claims he would never take them back, & is superly good at emphasising that no one is irreplaceable. Anyway, I love everyone I work with & understood so decided to stay a while longer...

 

Obviously that announcement was a total shock to everyone.. Especially rick & jack.

 

Despite everything rick came for 2/3 drinks the next evening at my " staying drinks " and was overly friendly / flirting / almost trying to Wynd jack up... It was so obvious after his week of being upset / ignoring.*

 

After he had left & a few more drinks had been had a few things were mentioned by colleagues.. One girl thought I was staying because of rick,,,, another really observant close friend from the office said - we all know ricks in love with you & realised this week was his last chance.. He's been really down & the atmosphere in the office s awful"

 

The Friday I spent with jack who I do really like although I know it would never be serious.. we chatted about it a lot & he feels it's more that Lee is upset from a competitive point f view..*

 

So to summarise.. I like jack although it's nothing serious.. Rick is in love *with me but has a gf... And now I have to spend more time with them all.. It's always obvious in an office if 2 people are sleeping together & that didn't matter before as I was leaving,, now it's goi g to be crazy!!

 

 

So who is in the wrong here??!*

 

I feel I've been a bitch to rick

 

I feel jack is being a knob head to rick as they were mates / colleagues

 

But I also feel rick can't act so rediculess as he has a gf.*

 

Hmmm.. What shall I do / say to sort this mess?! Help???!

Edited May 7, 2012 by Arabellad25
Name

[january2011]

No one is in the wrong but everyone has behaved unprofessionally.

 

I strongly suggest that you keep your head down and hands to yourself for the rest of the month and focus on what you're paid to do. If anyone asks, including the two parties involved, I'd advise being straight with them and admitting that you messed up, you're sorry and it won't happen again. That would be the responsible and professional thing to do.

 

With time and experience, hopefully, you will learn that it's not smart to allow your private and professional life to overlap. Otherwise, I foresee more messy situations in the future.