wwwjd Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Although internet dating makes your reach "global", let's ignore that for this exercise and focus on one aspect: LOCAL meeting of your soul mate How many people of the opposite sex have you met over a few years that you felt if everything had worked ok (or if both sides compromised some) THEY could have been your "soul mate"? For me, over the last decade, I will say, just for example, 5 people. This is within my local, metropolitan area only, not other towns. But, I've been to other nearby towns and meet great people there too. Lets say in any city area of 500,000 people, there are AT LEAST 5 people you probably met that you could get along with wonderfully. Now lets fuzzy logic that up and bit and say those are ONLY The people you MET, not everyone... so, maybe there is four times that that YOU HAVEN'T MET that are about the right age, single, same mentality, ideals, similar attraction etc etc, making the count 20. 20 people that could be your exact "Soul Mate". Not just ONE. Can someone crunch some numbers for whatever continent you are on and tell me many soul mates we each might have in our continent? I am in the USA. My math sucks as bad as my geography, but if I guesstimate there are at least 30 US city areas with more than 500,000 people in it, that means I could have 30 x 20 = 600 possible soul mates. Not DATES, but people I could meet that everything clicks and I could spend the rest of my life with. 600!! Not just 1. If you say the numbers are skewed because none of them were my perfect soul mate, consider this: k, suppose you found your ONE perfect soulmate in the city in which you live now, and that means there could be one in each city across the land. Of course we don't know that because we don't live there. But I believe (internet dating aside) we have this tendancy to search in OUR PRESENT LOCATION rather than gobally, thus concluding.... wherever we are, that is where we most likely will find our soul mate, meaning in all the cities across the land, there could be PLENTY of soul mates out there for us. and looking for ONE perfect one is madness. Anyone want to crunch the numbers on this? Maybe the idea is madness!! It's not WHO, but where we are. Didn't want to include internet dating because I have no clue how many people uproot their lives for someone living in another city. Surely, there is some. But it seems many people meet locals.... I'd suspect even over internet dating : "Search my zipcode" etc etc Feedback?
Anela Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 My dad met my mother when he was in the Air Force, and stationed in England. They met through mutual friends.
Author wwwjd Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 My dad met my mother when he was in the Air Force, and stationed in England. They met through mutual friends. That's all I mean. You MEET whereever you ARE. If I lived in Alaska, I'd find one there. If I lived in Japan, I'd find one there. Mexico, Hawaii, London... one - one - one. They are all over the place! I see potential everywhere - every city. Not to mentions the ones that WOULD match wonderfully that I just don't cross paths with. Not dead ends. Why do we fret over finding THE perfect ONE?
Quiet Storm Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Soulmates are a myth. There are many people that you will be compatible with and have mutual chemistry. If you find one of those many people and choose to feed that relationship with time, attention and care...that relationship will thrive. This is because you made a commitment to fostering that relationship. It is not some cosmic, once in a lifetime occurrence. It blossomed because you watered it. The dog you feed more is going to bigger. 1
somedude81 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 In my life, there's been only one woman so far that I felt could have met that title. But I've never known her intimately, so that could have been one area where we were incompatible. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her and wonder what could have been
Anela Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 That's all I mean. You MEET whereever you ARE. If I lived in Alaska, I'd find one there. If I lived in Japan, I'd find one there. Mexico, Hawaii, London... one - one - one. They are all over the place! I see potential everywhere - every city. Not to mentions the ones that WOULD match wonderfully that I just don't cross paths with. Not dead ends. Why do we fret over finding THE perfect ONE? They are "the one" to each other. They split up when I was a toddler, but got back together eleven years later. My mother dated a lot when she was younger, and a bit after she left him - she dealt with crap, whilst he married again - but they both have said that the other is the one for them. He could have been sent anywhere, but he was sent to this village close to my mothers', and they were introduced by mutual friends. But he had to join the Air Force, and leave Ohio to do it - yet, again, they both consider each other "the one." I know of others who have had failed relationships or marriages, met their new spouse on the internet (not on a dating site, in my own experience), and moved States or countries to be with them. One couple is so happy, that they're surprised when they start to snip at each other (it happens rarely).
MrNate 2.0 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Here's a little math from the people on here who claim the top 10% of men get all the glory. The US is roughly half male/female. 150 mil men, and 150 mil women. Women only like the top 10% of men. So that means that's 15 million men. So 15 million men are supposed to somehow be pulling in 150 million women. So that's roughly 10 women per top man. So the other 135 million men are screwed. 1
Author wwwjd Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 In my life, there's been only one woman so far that I felt could have met that title. But I've never known her intimately, so that could have been one area where we were incompatible. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her and wonder what could have been But there could be one of those in EVERY location you find yourself. Obviously, we can't meet EVERYONE there, but if ya dig a little you can find that gold nugget in every town. I believe. Or my standards are too loose? But I don't think so.
somedude81 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 But there could be one of those in EVERY location you find yourself. Obviously, we can't meet EVERYONE there, but if ya dig a little you can find that gold nugget in every town. I believe. Or my standards are too loose? But I don't think so. So far I've been to two Jr. Colleges and one 4-yr university. I've lived in the Bay Area and Southern California. Have had about 10 or so jobs. And only met one girl that felt like I had an actual future with.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 But … there is no such thing as a "soul mate." Let's crunch numbers on how many houses Santa Claus has to visit per millisecond on Christmas Eve to get his job done, instead. 1
gibson Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 But … there is no such thing as a "soul mate." Agreed! Let's crunch numbers on how many houses Santa Claus has to visit per millisecond on Christmas Eve to get his job done, instead. I have an even better idea... Let's calculate how many threads will be created by women hating, no confidence, bad self image, in-secure guys in the dating forum. and once we figure that out... Let's calculate how many posts they ignore within their own threads and others on how to solve their own self inflected problems. 1
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Here's a little math from the people on here who claim the top 10% of men get all the glory. The US is roughly half male/female. 150 mil men, and 150 mil women. Women only like the top 10% of men. So that means that's 15 million men. So 15 million men are supposed to somehow be pulling in 150 million women. So that's roughly 10 women per top man. So the other 135 million men are screwed. Look, the dating/mating game is a competition... and getting married doesn't make it stop.
Author wwwjd Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 Agreed! I have an even better idea... Let's calculate how many threads will be created by women hating, no confidence, bad self image, in-secure guys in the dating forum. and once we figure that out... Let's calculate how many posts they ignore within their own threads and others on how to solve their own self inflected problems. How is any of this related to the topic? Did someone hold a gun to your head and force you to read it and respond? Man, that is scary.
zengirl Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Look, the dating/mating game is a competition... and getting married doesn't make it stop. I think dating is a competition to those who live their lives like life is a competition. I never felt that way. I thought dating was a journey, just as my life is a journey, and you're right that the journey (or if your life is a competition and your dating is a competition) doesn't stop at marriage. 2
Author wwwjd Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 Soulmates are a myth. There are many people that you will be compatible with and have mutual chemistry. If you find one of those many people and choose to feed that relationship with time, attention and care...that relationship will thrive. This is because you made a commitment to fostering that relationship. It is not some cosmic, once in a lifetime occurrence. It blossomed because you watered it. The dog you feed more is going to bigger. I somehow missed this post from page one. GREAT point! I think there are "soul mates" - one you just get along wonderfully with - but I don't think there is just ONE perfect one. There is one EVERYWHERE. And the above statements feeds the truth in growing one. Trying to provide an optimistic perspective to those daters fretting about finding some ONE to love. Crunch the numbers and it is looking pretty good.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I have lived on 3 continents, not just visited but lived for >2 years each. I have never, ever, in my life met a guy whom I felt could truly be my "soulmate" or a life partner. The wording is irrelevant, just someone you click with on physical, emotional and intellectual level. So it never happened. I guess my number is zero.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Personally, I have many people in my life that I "clicked" with in that really unique way upon first meeting them. My husband is one of them. So are some of my close female friends. And male friends. I do believe in something that might be called a "soul connection" and I don't believe that there is only "ONE" with whom we'll have it. The number of people with whom we'll have that is probably huge, if we are actually talking about all the people on Earth. IMO, this connection is needed in order for a happy marital type union. So are a lot of other factors. Since the OP (who I believe is ignoring me, ) seems to have such rock-solid and faux scientific notions about such things, I am curious to know why he (?) has decided to forego dating, relationships, parenting, etc. himself.
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