When you go out in the real world to PUBLIC events

[irc333]

Give us an idea about the type of town/city you live in and maybe we can help you think outside the box.

 

Hmmm, how much time do we have? lol

 

This is a down that's amongst a chain of small towns that vary between 10 to 15K in population each, some even smaller, BUT it's on a very gradual upswing, because face it, the earth's population IS growing.

 

When I do searches online though, within MY area...its either.....

 

1. Women that aren't my type, but I can't think of another way to call someone trailer trash or Jerry Springer material without it not sounding nice. They have tats sprawled all over them, nose rings, and look like they've been through 500 miles of hard road even at a young age.

 

2. The ones that are more my speed, educated, clean up nicely, seem to have it together. Usually they're NEW in town or one of the rare few women that have remained single through out the course of their lives here. But they probably get bombarded by emails from men out of state, much less locally.

 

But mostly have moved here due to wanting to be close to their families. I recall one woman in my area, been on the site forever, in her profile stating the reason she joined POF because.

 

a. Her friends are setting her up with men she has no attraction to whatsoever.

 

b. She doesn't date co-workers (apparently, it's more popular in smaller towns to date people you work with, it's true...major nepotism going on at medium to small companies here).

 

3. Anyhow, this is an area where you can't approach women in a bookstore, grocery store as you would in a major metro area without seeing a ring on their finger.

 

I recall a time when I was younger, and I was going to the local college here, there had been no avail. women, it was convenient to have a college nearby, because they could continue to date, or perhaps even MARRY whoever they dated in High School. So it was just a college full of engaged or women who were spoken for, who never really experienced being single fo ra long period of time. It was just their mission to get married before legal drinking age and make babies. lol

 

Anyone mid 20's or older, were firmly in wedlock or some kind of living-together situation.

 

 

Hm, that's all I can think of for now....

 

Don't get me wrongn, I had been on my share of dates though, and usually it was with women not in my town.....the ones I had emailed who only live within minutes of me, well, just were unresponsive, but the hour long commute the big city were the ones I've acheived dates with. I don't mind the commute, actually most of my social life eveven with regular friends is in that city.

Edited May 7, 2012 by irc333

[xxoo]

No divorces in your town? Seems like there should be plenty of divorced women around your age with older kids.

[irc333]

No divorces in your town? Seems like there should be plenty of divorced women around your age with older kids.

 

Hmmmm....not around my age really...usually they divorce around their 50's or older, IF they ever do divorce.

 

I"ve been hearing account where only people have been married 30 to 40 years divorcing, but not many in the middle aged divorcing (I'm sure there are and I have heard of them.)

 

In smaller towns, I think people tend to try to "stick it out" in a marraige they're not happy in simply because they know they won't find anyone else to date in this town. Just a theory. Then they reach an age that's practically senior citizen in nature, and divorce then.

[RedRobin]

Really?!

 

Oh okay, sounds like things are turning the tables in your favor over there. You made it sounds like you're about to get the heck out of dodge because of the lack of population and singles in your neck of the woods. I.e. - most single men are married or spoken for, not unlike my community which is loaded with Jerry Springer material. lol

 

I actually do organize one of my Meetups, which is pretty fun, it's my own game night...but more strategy related games.

 

Yeah, I'm going to have to think of something else though. Hmmm.

 

 

 

Yeah, I think you might have a point there.

 

Well... I am still planning on getting the heck out of dodge!! I'll reiterate that none of the interactions ended in dates... Is it me? (I started a thread designed to help me figure that out.) Is it them? Personal preferences, lots of opportunities in the NE, my age (there is another thread about that...demographics).

 

Who knows, ha ha. I'll just keep plugging away. I'm still working my other plan though... to make it to a place with a better economy and (not coincidentally) a better selection of men

 

What I DO know is that, even this teeny weeny bit of recent, positive interaction IRL is SOOO much better than anything I did doing OLD.

 

I'm visiting friends, learning new things, and maybe just maybe, open to someone.

[RedRobin]

I am x2.....its too bad luck has nothing to do with it. Unfortunately my lucky charms won't help me now. If only I knew how to flirt:o

 

Getting back on topic, OP I think you'll find the better results occur when there is

at least some familiarity established in your interactions with women. That has to be your first goal. How and where can you encounter the type of woman you seek in a repetitive manner. Cold approaching isn't all that productive, for you I'd say rapport is your best bet.

Of course keep improving your flirting when out in public. Give us an idea about the type of town/city you live in and maybe we can help you think outside the box.

 

ha ha. Me thinks you got the flirting thing covered

 

Here's hoping she won't want to keep her hands of your lucky charms...

[RedRobin]

Hmmm, how much time do we have? lol

 

This is a down that's amongst a chain of small towns that vary between 10 to 15K in population each, some even smaller, BUT it's on a very gradual upswing, because face it, the earth's population IS growing.

 

When I do searches online though, within MY area...its either.....

 

1. Women that aren't my type, but I can't think of another way to call someone trailer trash or Jerry Springer material without it not sounding nice. They have tats sprawled all over them, nose rings, and look like they've been through 500 miles of hard road even at a young age.

 

2. The ones that are more my speed, educated, clean up nicely, seem to have it together. Usually they're NEW in town or one of the rare few women that have remained single through out the course of their lives here. But they probably get bombarded by emails from men out of state, much less locally.

 

But mostly have moved here due to wanting to be close to their families. I recall one woman in my area, been on the site forever, in her profile stating the reason she joined POF because.

 

a. Her friends are setting her up with men she has no attraction to whatsoever.

 

b. She doesn't date co-workers (apparently, it's more popular in smaller towns to date people you work with, it's true...major nepotism going on at medium to small companies here).

 

3. Anyhow, this is an area where you can't approach women in a bookstore, grocery store as you would in a major metro area without seeing a ring on their finger.

 

I recall a time when I was younger, and I was going to the local college here, there had been no avail. women, it was convenient to have a college nearby, because they could continue to date, or perhaps even MARRY whoever they dated in High School. So it was just a college full of engaged or women who were spoken for, who never really experienced being single fo ra long period of time. It was just their mission to get married before legal drinking age and make babies. lol

 

Anyone mid 20's or older, were firmly in wedlock or some kind of living-together situation.

 

 

Hm, that's all I can think of for now....

 

Don't get me wrongn, I had been on my share of dates though, and usually it was with women not in my town.....the ones I had emailed who only live within minutes of me, well, just were unresponsive, but the hour long commute the big city were the ones I've acheived dates with. I don't mind the commute, actually most of my social life eveven with regular friends is in that city.

 

Maybe it is time to get a weekend apartment/condo in the City and commute to your little town for work??

 

Any way your employer would let you work from home?

[zengirl]

As daesin said upthread, a car show isn't exactly the ideal place to assess this. That's not a typically female or even mixed audience -- the women who are there are generally (not ALL, mind you) there with their man because he wanted to go.

 

In general, it may depend on the age range, etc, but there are many places single women go. There are few places single women go ALONE. When I was an expat, I learned to go places alone, and it felt very, very weird at first because women are socialized to basically never go out in public alone, unless they have a distinct purpose (i.e. grocery shopping, to the bank, etc). So, they will likely be anywhere with either male or female friends. Even I still feel uncomfortable going places alone in America. I'm married now, so I guess I don't count, but I definitely went out and about when single, without a date. Just not without SOMEONE or going to something where I knew people/was meeting people, etc. ETA: The only places I went alone were groups, like book clubs or Meetups, where I felt I had a distinct purpose OR events I had an inordinately high interest in that were fine to do alone (film festivals, plays, etc) OR things where I'd casually know people, like a fundraiser (though for that stuff, I'd bring a date if I could rustle one up, even a friend, as it's generally expected). I went to thinks like street festivals and the like as well, but always with a friend or group.

Edited May 7, 2012 by zengirl

[FitChick]

it seems there are a lot of women who think it is "weird" to go someplace without a date, or at least a male friend who can pass as a date from a distance. They think people will think they are losers who can't get a man if they go out in public without a guy, so they'd rather stay home alone than risk being ridiculed by strangers.

I go most places alone. Always have. I traveled all over Europe alone when I graduated from college. That's how I met a lot of people. People are more likely to talk to you when you are alone, which can be good or bad depending on the other person. Who the f*ck cares what random strangers who you will never see again think? Besides, odds are they are not even thinking about you at all. Don't limit yourself.

[FitChick]

2. The ones that are more my speed, educated, clean up nicely, seem to have it together. Usually they're NEW in town or one of the rare few women that have remained single through out the course of their lives here. But they probably get bombarded by emails from men out of state, much less locally.

 

Suppose other men are assuming the same thing? Never assume anything and you might be pleasantly surprised.

[irc333]

In general, it may depend on the age range, etc, but there are many places single women go. There are few places single women go ALONE. When I was an expat, I learned to go places alone, and it felt very, very weird at first because women are socialized to basically never go out in public alone, unless they have a distinct purpose (i.e. grocery shopping, to the bank, etc). So, they will likely be anywhere with either male or female friends. Even I still feel uncomfortable going places alone in America. I'm married now, so I guess I don't count, but I definitely went out and about when single, without a date. Just not without SOMEONE or going to something where I knew people/was meeting people, etc. ETA: The only places I went alone were groups, like book clubs or Meetups, where I felt I had a distinct purpose OR events I had an inordinately high interest in that were fine to do alone (film festivals, plays, etc) OR things where I'd casually know people, like a fundraiser (though for that stuff, I'd bring a date if I could rustle one up, even a friend, as it's generally expected). I went to thinks like street festivals and the like as well, but always with a friend or group.

 

Good points, women will hardly ever go places alone, unless it's to run errands and pretty much it. You'll hardly ever see a woman at a Festival or concert by themselves.

 

With these Meetup events, they always bring a girlfriend (ESP. at singles events) just in case they don't like the choices, so she has someone to talk to.

[irc333]

though for that stuff, I'd bring a date if I could rustle one up

 

Funny, this could be a diff. topic altogether, but I could NEVER just "rustle" u a date. LOL Perhaps I could start a new post.

 

How can one just "rustle up" a date?