regio1990 Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 I broke up with my ex a little over a month ago, we had been dating for a year and 3 months. Things had been going well until close to the end when things seemed to be getting different. We had lost our spark and were fighting a bit more. But we still stayed together because we loved each other. Until one day we told each other how we felt and we had felt that the relationship had stalled. U was ready to move forward but ahe wasnt ready to make more of a commitment. I brought up the idea of breaking up but I didn't want to break up. The next day we talk some more and she asked me why we should stay together and I told cuz we are in love she replied that it wasn't enough. She said she didn't want a bf so we broke up. I tried nc but I broke it about 4 times because I felt that i truly love her. On the last one she told me straight up that she had moves on and that she wasnt talking to anyone but she enjoys being single and that I have to find someone to replace her. Also that she wanted to return my promise ring I gave her. Tgis broke my heart completely like I had no idea what to do. So I started doing ny own thing but then a friend of mine told me thatvshe had given her number to this guy and he had been texting her. Apparently she dosent like him and ignores the text messages sent by him. This broke my heart even more cuz I thought it was to soon for her to do that. Now I can't get her out of my mind a part of me hates her and wants to scream at her and another just wants her back in my arms. I really thought this girl was the one i was going to marry so it breaks my heart knowing she is getting hit on and flirting with other guys. Any advice on what I can do?
mattr89 Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 (edited) Your situation is almost identical to mine. I know exactly how you are feeling believe me. My ex and I lost our spark, fought more broke up and then when I tried talking to her after she basically told me she moved on and wants her own life without me in it. So as far as advice, you gotta first stop thinking about what shes doing, the mind does this naturally and tries to put puzzle peices together and make up stories about a situation... which only makes you feel worse. But in reality the mind has no way of knowing those things are true. So its basically waisted effort and time. It serves no purpose. Your not going to "think" you way out of this. Second thing is, similar to my case, our ex's both told us they moved on. And im sure you have already confessed your love for her after the breakup so she knows you care about her and want her. But know that theres NOTHING you can do or say now thats gonna make her realize she wants you back. She has to come to that conclusion on her own terms, not by you convincing her. So dont contact her. If this girl really is great, then let her figure herself out. If its ment to be she will realize you arent worth giving up, if not then thats her loss. But the main thing is, dont sit around waiting for her. Continue to live your life how you want that makes you happy. This is all advice that has been given to me and i have realized, hope it helps Edited May 6, 2012 by mattr89
Author regio1990 Posted May 6, 2012 Author Posted May 6, 2012 Yep the mind does me dirty sometimes. I'm glad I'm not alone with how i feel because its like no one here understands how it truly feels. I have been hanging out with friends and doing stuff that makes me happy, but damn its like every where i look I'm reminded of her, but I am getting better and I don't want to sit around to wait for her. I guess what it all boils down to is that I'm scared she wont come back and I won't find someone like her or better than her you know.
mattr89 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 We think exactly a like my friend. I understand exactly how you feel. Its like you get out and hang out with friends and its great but the next thing you know your back to thinking about her. And its a constant battle in your head daily. Yeah i know what your saying, i feel the same way. Im afraid she will find another guy that will make her happier than i did. What hurts more for me is that im losing my bestfriend, not just a girlfriend. But honestly man, living in fear is not living. You cant worry about things that you have no control over. And at this point you just have to accept that there is nothing more you can do, nothing more you can say. But let me tell you one piece of advice that works in two ways. That is to learn to make yourself happy without her, be confident and enjoy that fact that you now can start new hobbies, go new places, etc. This is important because for one it will help you move on and two, if she does decide to come back in your life... it wont be because you begged her back, it will be because she will see how happy you are and confident. That will get her attention more than anything.
Author regio1990 Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 I said the same thing it feels like I lost my best friend because I shared so much and went through so much together. She was always there to support me and help me through tough times and now i dont have that anymore. I just feel alone and even after I hang out with friends she still creeps up to my head. I have been doing my hobbies again trying to keep my mind of off it. But some days my mind just wants me to go back into that state of lonliness. I just hope I can get over this soon and get her out my system. But I say all of this knowing full well that I still miss her and want her back.
mattr89 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Yeah man dont worry, going through all that too. But next time you start to feel lonely, remind yourself of the reasons why you broke up. Lets be honest im sure she displayed qualities that you didnt like that led to the fighting. Think about what you didnt like about her. Cause there was a reason why you guys broke up, it wasnt perfect. The mind tends to only think about the "good" things after a break up but in reality there was bad things. It may be cliche but time will make it easier. But remember that the more you spend reflecting on the past and what you dont have, the more you are taking away from your life.
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