St.Jonny Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Hello all, new to this site just wanted to share my story and get some thoughts/advice. So I have been seeing this girl for about 6 weeks. Everything had been going fine and up until this moment there were not really any issues. She had a bit of trouble off her ex when I first met her, they had been split up a few months but he still harassed her. When they were together he used to beat her up and cheat on her. For this reason she was obviously quite nervous about trusting another person. After the first week or 2 the ex seemed to leave her alone so that was all good. So this is where I have to admit...I have been a selfish ****. There is no excusing what I did and I fully admit it was a bad decision. Basically a week ago I went on a night out with my sister, her boyfriend and another friend. My girlfriend did not come out. I got on quite well with my sisters friend all night and although nothing happened between us at all whilst we were out, when I got home that night I added her on facebook and in a drunken stupid mess thought it was a good idea to message her on there and ask for her number. She never messaged me back and I haven't spoken to her since. I know this was selfish and stupid but it happened, I hold my hands up to it...and not that it makes it alright but I could have done a lot worse. Anyway I forgot about it after nursing my hangover the next day and a week passed. I was getting on fine with my girlfriend and spent all of this weekend with her. We went out friday and saturday night and had a great time. When we got home last night after a night out she told me that she trusted me and that she really liked me. We decided to make ourselves in a relationship on facebook. And here's where it all went wrong. I went on facebook on my phone and accidentally went into my messages folder. My girlfriend was looking over my shoulder and saw that I had messaged that girl last week asking for her number. She went mental. Basically she got really upset and kicked me out of her house. I was very upset too and after a lot of shouting I went home. We exchanged a few texts where she said that she thought I was going to be different to the boys she has been with before and that she cant ever trust me. She is also convinced that I did more than just ask the other girl for her number...which to be fair I can understand as I would probably think the same. So I went to see her today as I had to pick my car up. I ended up staying for about 6 hours. At first she went mad at me again, but then she got really upset and wanted to hug me...then got mad again...then wanted to hug again...you get the pattern. I basically said to her that I was stupid and I was sorry for sending the message...but she is convinced that she cant ever trust me again and therefore its over between us. She was crying while she told me this. I tried to talk to her about it but she just got more angry when I did. Eventually she said that after I leave hers today it would be the last time I saw her. I told her I didn't want it to be...then I left, She kissed me when I left and she cried. So that's my story...I know its my own fault, but I think that I could still have a chance to get her back. Im not going to contact her for a few days...is there any specific time that I shouldn't contact her for? And also any thoughts/comments/advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
Bonie Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I think you definatelly deserved it. There is no excuse for what you did. I had a similar situation. I was dating someone for a few months. When he went out to buy some food, I logged in on his laptop because I wanted to check my facebook profile. It turned out he had forgotten to log off, so I decided to take a look. And guess what....I went through his private msgs and saw he was asking a friend about a cute girl that messaged on her wall....That is not alll. I also saw another msg adressed to a relative of his about cute girl who was also on my friends' list...In addition to that, I saw another msg adressed to a slutty bartender writing her a long letter and telling her what a wonderful host she made.. He didn't receive a reply but I think his intentions were not so innocent.Why would he even search for her on facebook? This was all done just a few weeks after we were already officially in a relationship and after I already met his parents. Once again, I really don't think it was innocent at all. I also think it was quite suspicious that he took the number of his cousin's gf who according to him liked him....The excuse was that he thought she could provide him with weed which is pretty lame considering he already had someone to give it to him.... In addition to that he has cheated on an ex gf in the past.... Even though he told me that he had learnt his lesson after cheating on his ex in and he would never do it again, it seems to me he was looking for an opportunity to do so.I didn't even hesitate to dump him at all!!!!!! How could you trust someone like that? You just can't.
Bonie Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 He was clearly showing interest in another beautiful women while in a relationship. This speaks volumes and shows me how poor his moral system was. If it is like that during the "honeymoon" stage,I wonder how it would be after 3-4 years after the relationship becomes not as exciting as used to be....
Bonie Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 If you really want to save the relationship you should try appologizing again and promise it would never happen again. However, since it is a very fresh relationship she is probably not so emotionally invested and she would probably not give you another chance. I know you did not physically cheat on her but what you did is a big indicator of future troubles..
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