Garnering a response by honing in on SPECIFIC interests

[irc333]

I was reading some women's profiles, and she said something about wanting to get into creative arts therapy....it's some sub-category of the social services field.

 

I was wondering, if I make it a point (to even research/Google this topic) and study it. (not really deeply, just enough to start a conversation about what she's into)

 

Could you really hook a woman into responding to your email?

 

Or have you men tried this already without so much being considered as a fart in the wind?

[ThaWholigan]

I was reading some women's profiles, and she said something about wanting to get into creative arts therapy....it's some sub-category of the social services field.

 

I was wondering, if I make it a point (to even research/Google this topic) and study it. (not really deeply, just enough to start a conversation about what she's into)

 

Could you really hook a woman into responding to your email?

 

Or have you men tried this already without so much being considered as a fart in the wind?

Tried it. Failed it. Many times.

 

It's not so much what subject you talk about or ask about, but how you word it. I'm still not very good at messaging girls online, I think I come across too formal . That's just how I talk & write a lot of the time

[irc333]

Tried it. Failed it. Many times.

 

It's not so much what subject you talk about or ask about, but how you word it. I'm still not very good at messaging girls online, I think I come across too formal . That's just how I talk & write a lot of the time

 

I got a good friend of mine, out in public, he can talk about ANYTHING intelligent. Even if a woman talks about a job she does or task that's rather obscure, he seems to know SOMETHING about it, even if it's MINOR.

 

I think he sometimes scares some women a bit though. He sometimes talks about her subject, then apparently actually KNOWS someone he's worked with that has worked with her in some indirect manner and what company. He can actually figure out, within the minute. amount of information SHE gives, that she's surprised about how much HE knows about her field, where she's been during her job, and what she does.

 

Of course, she could be just paranoid.

 

But I wonder if you could take a topic that's passion to her, and even do a little research on it to show you can talk intelligently enough about it.

 

That way, you can hook her into answering your question. Perhaps you might wind up being the ONLY guy that actually seemed to talk about what she's into...or even said more than just "So, what do you do on your job?"

[ThaWholigan]

I got a good friend of mine, out in public, he can talk about ANYTHING intelligent. Even if a woman talks about a job she does or task that's rather obscure, he seems to know SOMETHING about it, even if it's MINOR.

 

I think he sometimes scares some women a bit though. He sometimes talks about her subject, then apparently actually KNOWS someone he's worked with that has worked with her in some indirect manner and what company. He can actually figure out, within the minute. amount of information SHE gives, that she's surprised about how much HE knows about her field, where she's been during her job, and what she does.

 

Of course, she could be just paranoid.

 

But I wonder if you could take a topic that's passion to her, and even do a little research on it to show you can talk intelligently enough about it.

 

That way, you can hook her into answering your question. Perhaps you might wind up being the ONLY guy that actually seemed to talk about what she's into...or even said more than just "So, what do you do on your job?"

I identify with your friend. I tend to know little bits about lots of things, and I'm genuinely interested in something if I don't know it and think it's interesting.

 

I hear you though, and it works in real life better than it works online. Online it's kind of futile. Your best bet is 1) Being intelligent enough with your words and 2) She likes how you look or what's in your profile.

[dasein]

It has worked for me many times, it's in the nuance and subtlety. Stating "I like XYZ too!" doesn't cut it. Make it more personal and contextual. One woman had a picture of her next to a sandcastle turtle at the beach. She also said she liked Seinfeld in her profile. I asked her about the picture with "are you a marine biologist?" Instant response and date. Another woman liked a certain author with a very distinctive style of writing that I'm familiar with. Wrote a couple of sentences in the email in that author's style. Instant response and date. I try to put one such subtle thing in every email. If a woman mentions a particular, bar, club, restaurant, park, "Do they still have those retro looking lights at the XYZ bar?"

 

It doesn't take much thought to do this kind of stuff, and I've found it very useful.

[irc333]

Hi Daesin,

 

Good deal that you're getting dates using this method...it hasn't worked with me though lately, not sure why.

 

USUALLY though, it's with women where we have the same subtle interests, for instance....she made mention a quote in her headliner and said, "If you can guess the movie quote...you win points with me!"

 

I was able to guess it, and fire back a couple of other quotes from the same movie. I was into Sci-fi and so was she...even into obscure Monty Python stuff and most other crap most people would not "get" among "nerd talk".

 

She even had a "I love nerds" T-shirt in one of her profile pics.

 

 

But...no response....it seems my knowledge of the most obscure, even though as well as equal to hers.....if I wasn't a good lookin' dude in the pics, the whole "Sci-fi nerds with similar interests is moot."

 

 

THAT being said, I'd figured I'd just start (recently mind you), pointing out things in their profile, even if we Do NOT share common interests in them, I would suppose showing interest in something she's in,and being open minded enough to learn about it, might win points with her, too.

 

 

 

It has worked for me many times, it's in the nuance and subtlety. Stating "I like XYZ too!" doesn't cut it. Make it more personal and contextual. One woman had a picture of her next to a sandcastle turtle at the beach. She also said she liked Seinfeld in her profile. I asked her about the picture with "are you a marine biologist?" Instant response and date. Another woman liked a certain author with a very distinctive style of writing that I'm familiar with. Wrote a couple of sentences in the email in that author's style. Instant response and date. I try to put one such subtle thing in every email. If a woman mentions a particular, bar, club, restaurant, park, "Do they still have those retro looking lights at the XYZ bar?"

 

It doesn't take much thought to do this kind of stuff, and I've found it very useful.

[dasein]

she made mention a quote in her headliner and said, "If you can guess the movie quote...you win points with me!"

 

20 guys guessed the movie, one guy blended another quote from the same movie subtly into his first email without expressly referencing it. All other things equal, that guy got a reply.

 

if I wasn't a good lookin' dude in the pics, the whole "Sci-fi nerds with similar interests is moot."

 

Yep, you are dead on here. Subtle wit in an initial email won't get you a favorable reply unless she has already found your pics attractive. This is very tough, as there are tons of good looking guys on OLD sites, not nearly as many good looking women, and women doing OLD overrate their own market value and underrate men's.

 

THAT being said, I'd figured I'd just start (recently mind you), pointing out things in their profile, even if we Do NOT share common interests in them, I would suppose showing interest in something she's in,and being open minded enough to learn about it, might win points with her, too.

 

Rather than hitting on the common interests so much (definitely do some of that), look for joke opportunities. If she has a picture of her trekking riding an elephant, tell her you were thinking of getting an elephant and wondered how easy it is to housetrain them, stuff like that. Too much "we have this in common" begins to sound like you are making a case for a date and also sounds a bit beggy. A little of that goes a long way. Good luck.

[FitChick]

One woman had a picture of her next to a sandcastle turtle at the beach. She also said she liked Seinfeld in her profile. I asked her about the picture with "are you a marine biologist?" Instant response and date.

 

But, later that evening, did she fake it?

[FitChick]

You can be Brad Pitts twin... It is all about the pictures and how she rates you.

 

I've seen Brad Pitt and George Clooney in person. Yes, they are conventionally handsome but I don't like conventionally handsome men. All that matters is if the woman finds you attractive.

[dasein]

But, later that evening, did she fake it?

 

She ended up unclogging something by tugging on a ball...

 

Truthfully I never ended up dating that one. She was a busy doctor and wouldn't set dates, but text with no warning "Can you go out now?" which is not the way I do things.

[FitChick]

Truthfully I never ended up dating that one. She was a busy doctor

 

Was she a

[dasein]

Was she a

 

Why yes she was, and tried to text me a skin rash when I turned her down for those impromptu dates, the nerve.

[irc333]

But, later that evening, did she fake it?

 

 

Yeah, I could see how that would get an instant date....I'm a Seinfeld fan...however I met some people that can't stand the show.

 

I just chalk it up as them not having much of a sense of humor, because I think ANYONE that doesn't think that show is at least slightly amusing doesn't have one. LOL

[Cypress25]

Of course you should mention specifics from her profile and use them to start a conversation. That's what profiles are for! It annoys the hell out of me when I get generic messages from guys that are clearly copy-and-paste email blasts. Your first message should indicate that you actually took the time to read her profile. This seems like common sense, and yet so many guys try to take the lazy way out.

[irc333]

Of course you should mention specifics from her profile and use them to start a conversation. That's what profiles are for! It annoys the hell out of me when I get generic messages from guys that are clearly copy-and-paste email blasts. Your first message should indicate that you actually took the time to read her profile. This seems like common sense, and yet so many guys try to take the lazy way out.

 

Funny, how I would still talk about specific interests , but never get a response. Seems to be moot I suppose. lol

[Cypress25]

Funny, how I would still talk about specific interests , but never get a response.

 

That doesn't mean you should stop doing it. That's the part you're doing right! If you still don't get a response, it's because of something else. Maybe she's not attracted to you or her hobbies/values aren't compatible with yours, etc. But you can never go wrong with a personalized message that targets her profile specifically. It doesn't guarantee you a response, but it definitely increases your odds. It can only help you; nothing hurts your chances more than sending a boring, generic email blast.