EternalInk Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Hi everyone Mmm...where to start. I'm not really good with things like this but here goes. I consider myself to be a decent guy and I get on fairly well with most of my friends, even strangers. However, there's something that's been bugging me for a while now. The thing is, almost all the women I know or approach tag me as 'rude' and arrogant. I really never thought I came off this way. Sometimes they even compare me to Simon Cowell. I'm not sure what it is about me that gives off this vibe, but I think it might have to do with the tone of my voice. I'm not really much of a chatterbox, in fact I'm rather quiet and like to keep to myself from time to time. This is something I really want to work on, not for other people but for myself. Problem is, I just don't know where to start. Some advice would be really appreciated. P.S - I'm using my phone to post this. So, apologies in advance if some things are out of place
sal110104 Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Have you asked women for specific examples? Maybe you have a dry sense of humor that some people dont get? How about your guy friends or family - can they give you examples? Its hard to correct something if you dont know what the exact issue is
Author EternalInk Posted May 6, 2012 Author Posted May 6, 2012 Have you asked women for specific examples? Maybe you have a dry sense of humor that some people dont get? How about your guy friends or family - can they give you examples? Its hard to correct something if you dont know what the exact issue is That's the tough part, they never give me specific examples. They all just say, "you just are!". It really doesn't help much. My guy friends just just tell me that I'm not and the women are just stuck up. I don't think any of my family members would tell me as things have been very shaky between us as a family for the last couple of years. It's very frustrating. Definitely don't want to end up like Simon in the long run because he just looks miserable.
dasein Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 My guy friends just just tell me that I'm not and the women are just stuck up. Trust your guy friends. No one who wrote the OP you did, and has the concerns you do is a rude or arrogant person. A truly rude or arrogant person wouldn't care, think about it. Women will very often classify a man in unfavorable terms if they feel he isn't manipulable or controllable enough. Women in my social circle sit around and classify unmarried men without children as "selfish," have heard them classify friends that way who are the furthest thing from selfish, and I'm sure they do the same thing to me behind my back. Have heard them also classify single men without active social lives as "gay" also, when nothing could be further from the truth. Take anything women say about you with a large grain of salt. Just keep approaching women and you will be fine.
runner Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Hi everyone Mmm...where to start. I'm not really good with things like this but here goes. I consider myself to be a decent guy and I get on fairly well with most of my friends, even strangers. However, there's something that's been bugging me for a while now. The thing is, almost all the women I know or approach tag me as 'rude' and arrogant. I really never thought I came off this way. Sometimes they even compare me to Simon Cowell. I'm not sure what it is about me that gives off this vibe, but I think it might have to do with the tone of my voice. I'm not really much of a chatterbox, in fact I'm rather quiet and like to keep to myself from time to time. This is something I really want to work on, not for other people but for myself. Problem is, I just don't know where to start. Some advice would be really appreciated. P.S - I'm using my phone to post this. So, apologies in advance if some things are out of place this post doesn't strike me as rude or arrogant, nor do you sound like a people pleaser- both extremes you don't want to get yourself into. if anything, it's probably better to err on the rude side than the other if one had to choose. at least it shows you have the balls to speak your mind with regard to things that matter to you. biting one's tongue isn't all that sexy, imo. put these girls on ignore
Bob_Funk Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 It's probably your looks. Girls have told me I'm too "intense," when really I just have a prominent brow ridge. Your voice and mannerisms could be contributing, but those are dictated by brain chemistry and are completely out of your control.
Feelin Frisky Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 So EternalInk, are you eternally inked? That matters a lot depending on who you're speaking with. It can give off a sense of obsession with one's own bravado and that IS arrogance. It's tough to be called arrogant without much in the way of dialog, so? If you're not inked up and don't start conversations with sarcasm, I can't see too many women coming to same conclusion by sheer coincidence.
FitChick Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Definitely don't want to end up like Simon in the long run because he just looks miserable. Any man would be miserable if he was as rich and famous as Simon Cowell with women throwing themselves at him 24/7. 1
Pierre Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Men sometimes call very good looking women stock up because they could never date them. By the same toke some women may think very good looking men are arrogant.
The Humbler Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 The greatest gift a person can give themselves is not giving a **** what anyone thinks about them. 1
Author EternalInk Posted May 11, 2012 Author Posted May 11, 2012 Sorry for the late response everyone, I'm busy with my final exams and they've been taking up most of my time. The greatest gift a person can give themselves is not giving a **** what anyone thinks about them. I agree. It's usually the ones that are dissatisfied with their lives that try to pull everyone down. So EternalInk, are you eternally inked? That matters a lot depending on who you're speaking with. It can give off a sense of obsession with one's own bravado and that IS arrogance. It's tough to be called arrogant without much in the way of dialog, so? If you're not inked up and don't start conversations with sarcasm, I can't see too many women coming to same conclusion by sheer coincidence. Haha...nah, I'm not inked up but I understand what you mean about the whole bravado thing. I appreciate the responses from everyone. I guess I just have to keep it moving and ignore the negativity in my life.
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