Majorly Dysfunctional Family.

[Gunzergreat]

I moved away from my home state of Ohio in 1993 and only have returned twice in 2002 & 2010. Last week my aunt, one of my mothers five sisters, was diagnosed with end stage cancer. This aunt has two adult kids in their 30s who have long criminal records & drug abuse histories. One of them assaulted another aunt of mine and they bring their derelict friends to visit their dying mother & then they provoke trouble with the family members there. They even made a complaint to the police that two relatives assaulted them, & now those relatives have been charged with misdemeanor menacing.

My mother wants to go visit her dying sister & wanted me to go with her. I was going to but now with this mess I don't want to. I have a great job with the government & an arresst could ruin everything. The last thing I need is these idiots to accuse me of something & I'd be screwed. My mother is laying on the guilt trip now because I'm expressing concern about this situation, but she's retired & no longer has a job to lose. My boss says he'll play villian & deny the time off.

What say you all out there? How would you handle this?

[anne1707]

Your mother needs you. It's as simple as that. Go with her.

[Gunzergreat]

Your mother needs you. It's as simple as that. Go with her.

 

I wrote the above this morning after being awake for 31 hours straight. Having slept for a good 9 hours my head is clear.

 

If I had a penny for each time I needed my mom as a child, only to have her defend the sick father that made my chilhood horrific, I'd make Bill Gates look like a Pauper. "Mom" is lucky I even acknowledge her existance, but I won't lower myself to her level. As an adult I've been there for her financially, emotionally, you name it, all of it totally unappreciated, but that's okay.

There are however, boundaries, and when it comes to my life, job, and future, I draw the line, PERIOD.

Edited May 7, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[anne1707]

OK. So you don't tell us all this detail but you get cross with people who try to help based on what you have told them initially and tell them they can F- off. Nice.

 

Based on your second post, I would say let your mother go without you (which is what you want to be told anyway). She will be better off without you (which is not what you want to be told).

[wow04]

I agree that you need to take care of yourself during this situation.

 

If put in your shoes I wouldn't go to visit the Aunt, but what about being at your mom's house when she returns?